You are already smart man. You use linux. That's all we need to gauge that. You just need to actualize your intelligence.
Trying these and see what suits you: create 100 line programs for automating your mundane tasks (e.g. reading list manager in terminal), simple 2D games, play chess and word games, open substack and write on stuff you read last week or do a podcasts instead (no one has to know who you are if a psychological barrier gets in the way).
As for books for learning statistics, find books and lectures through ocw mit and khan academy and YT and libgen and openstax.org and open.umn.edu and persevere.