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I wasn’t trying to make fun of her. I adore her more then anyone else on the planet despite knowing that she doesn’t care about me, because that is how much I love her and want to have a relationship with her even though I know the odds of success are probably less then 1%. I was just trying to find something I could possibly have in common with her. This is because if we are being honest, the vast majority of kids that are “diagnosed” with level 1 autism/aspergers, are just kids that are nerdy book worms with shitty social skills that get labeled and made fun of by both teachers and peers for not being “social butterflies”, lol. I don’t think my autism/asperger’s would have even been a problem if my parents weren’t control freaks that used it as an excuse to scare me from socializing with other kids. I was trained at a very young age how to mask my autism when I was forced to interact with teachers and peers in school. I became so good at masking that I was never officially “diagnosed”. A doctor told my parents when I was four years old that I probably had high-functioning autism/aspergers, so my parents had me stop seeing that doctor and started training me how to hide it when I was in public. This was both a blessing and a curse, because while it protected me from receiving an official diagnoses, it made me avoid developing normal friendships with peers my age and just focus on academics in order to avoid blowing my “cover”, lol. So while I am highly effective at staged/scripted low-level social interactions, I have shitty social skills for developing real friendships and relationships. However, the glimmer of hope in this fucked up situation is that I don’t think it is really my “autism” that is holding me back, but the fear my parents instilled in me from a young age of being outed as “autistic” by peers, primarily because they couldn’t accept their kid being diagnosed with a mental disability, lol. Once I am living on my own, I feel it will ironically get a lot easier because I will be forced to interact with people all the time without my parents hovering around (I can drive to class, but my mother often comes with me, and it feels like their always looking over my shoulder, lmao) and I will probably just admit to them that I have mild autism and then the fear will subside and I can actually have a successful relationship.

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<The Fundamental Rights of Sovereignty, according to Thomas Hobbes
>1. The Subjects Cannot Change The Form Of Government (The form of Government is a fundamental law)
>2. Soveraigne Power Cannot Be Forfeited
>3. No Man Can Without Injustice Protest Against The Institution Of The Soveraigne Declared By The Major Part.
>4. The Soveraigns Actions Cannot Be Justly Accused By The Subject
>5. What Soever The Soveraigne Doth, Is Unpunishable By The Subject
>6. The Soveraigne Is Judge Of What Is Necessary For The Peace And Defence Of His Subjects (And Judge Of What Doctrines Are Fit To Be Taught Them)
>7. The Right of making Rules, whereby the Subject may every man know what is so his owne, as no other Subject can without injustice take it from him
>8. To Him Also Belongeth The Right Of All Judicature And Decision Of Controversies:
>9. And Of Making War, And Peace, As He Shall Think Best:
>10. And Of Choosing All Counsellours, And Ministers, Both Of Peace, And Warre:
>11. And Of Rewarding, And Punishing, And That (Where No Former Law hath Determined The Measure Of It) Arbitrary:
>12. And Of Honour And Order
And finally, Thomas Hobbes adds, with his 12 marks of Sovereignty (as Jean Bodin would have it):
<These Rights Are Indivisible
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I was on a train ride and a greasy chud looking teenager kept trying to show me pictures and videos glorifying the Christchurch shooter for some reason and making jokes that werent really coherent but registered to me as unfunny in the dream. I got off at a train stop and saw a girl I had had an unrequited crush on in high school and tried to talk to her but she was wearing a covid mask and I couldnt really hear anything she was saying. An old beggar at the station heard me trying to talk to her and berated me and the only thing I remember from that was him saying "You can't do anything in society nowadays?" which made little sense. Honestly a lot of my dreams are very stream of consciousness and don't really have a coherent storyline or meaning that I can tell