>>813874I wasn’t trying to make fun of her. I adore her more then anyone else on the planet despite knowing that she doesn’t care about me, because that is how much I love her and want to have a relationship with her even though I know the odds of success are probably less then 1%. I was just trying to find something I could possibly have in common with her. This is because if we are being honest, the vast majority of kids that are “diagnosed” with level 1 autism/aspergers, are just kids that are nerdy book worms with shitty social skills that get labeled and made fun of by both teachers and peers for not being “social butterflies”, lol. I don’t think my autism/asperger’s would have even been a problem if my parents weren’t control freaks that used it as an excuse to scare me from socializing with other kids. I was trained at a very young age how to mask my autism when I was forced to interact with teachers and peers in school. I became so good at masking that I was never officially “diagnosed”. A doctor told my parents when I was four years old that I probably had high-functioning autism/aspergers, so my parents had me stop seeing that doctor and started training me how to hide it when I was in public. This was both a blessing and a curse, because while it protected me from receiving an official diagnoses, it made me avoid developing normal friendships with peers my age and just focus on academics in order to avoid blowing my “cover”, lol. So while I am highly effective at staged/scripted low-level social interactions, I have shitty social skills for developing real friendships and relationships. However, the glimmer of hope in this fucked up situation is that I don’t think it is really my “autism” that is holding me back, but the fear my parents instilled in me from a young age of being outed as “autistic” by peers, primarily because they couldn’t accept their kid being diagnosed with a mental disability, lol. Once I am living on my own, I feel it will ironically get a lot easier because I will be forced to interact with people all the time without my parents hovering around (I can drive to class, but my mother often comes with me, and it feels like their always looking over my shoulder, lmao) and I will probably just admit to them that I have mild autism and then the fear will subside and I can actually have a successful relationship.
The sad th
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