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/hobby/ - Hobby

"Our hands pass down the skills of the last generation to the next"
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So I had a massive social fail yesterday. I don't really want to get to the details because nobody here cares about my drama. I want to get to a feeling that probably unites some of us.
A lot of us are very into computers in a way nobody except us can understand, and along with that or because of that, we lost our social lives.
Me, I have very bad people skills. Unlike others, it isn't that I'm too scared to talk to others, in fact that sensation is extremely dull, only flares up talking to cute girls, like anyone else. So I don't have a block when it comes to just talking to people.
What I struggle with is the technical skills: how to read people effectively and respond to their emotions, keeping a conversation flowing and expanding, speaking technique (my speech has degraded somewhat to the point where I stutter, my voice sometimes cracks, and I never speak loud enough so should work on that), and moreover the holy grail is utilising social procedure to make a relationship ascend from acquaintanceship to a close friendship.

After yesterday I was wishing I was just normal, that I didn't trade my social life for elite computer skills because of how isolated it made me. I have a unique perspective on the world in so many ways, but I'm also alone in that, and sometimes it doesn't feel worth it. Relating with people over the wire isn't enough anymore, I want to relate with others face-to-face. But I don't want to become a defeated misanthrope just yet. I need to know if it's possible to have it both ways.
Surely other lains have been in similar situation, and maybe have tried and possibly succeeded in fixing it. I haven't searched elsewhere yet because I expect to find mostly snake oil peddled by normal people who don't understand my situation at all. What about you lain? Have you found books which gave you a glimpse at the mechanics of social interactions? how friendship is formed?

Also, is having social media a boon for making friends? At this point I'm considering downloading Instagram to appear more like I am a socially fitting person; I feel like being known as that guy who has no social media, though it makes me novel, probably works against me because it flags my outsider-ness to others, or makes me seem like I'm not approachable. But I want to be approachable. I don't expect to become a sociopath-tier socialite who can smooth talk anybody. I just want to be able to get on with people.

Let's all learn how hack the social fabric of the world to make friends!

>>44103
But sir this isn't lain

>>44104
Hello, Lain.

There are books about this from self-help to social engineering.

>>44103
First, concerning socialization thought is very close to being, meaning keeping your cool is the most important in projecting social skills. Just know your limits and listen, ask questions or simply nod if you have nothing to say.

Second, building social skills isn't hard unless you're living like a hermit for weeks on end. Even then i have a somewhat active mind, so i often find myself occupied with imaginary conversations when doing chores and i feel like that helps.

i cant offer a ton, but:
people generally like when you mirror their emotions back to them. I.E. if they tell you a happy story, smile along with them, and so forth.
dont be overly expressive or excited. just a smile and a cheerful voice is enough
good practice is talking to cashiers. ask how they are, when they are done work, other very simple questions. If they seem cold then its ok to just drop it, you didnt do anything wrong
younger people will probably think ur a bit weird if you dont have insta or something along the lines, insta is the most popular. just post some photos you took on a hike or of some nice building downtown every once and a while and thats enough, and add a profile picture! you dont have to see ur face in it or even have it be of u but no anime or cartoons

>>44111
also, all this stuff will be awkward at first. its unavoidable. dont worry about it, nobody will remember you or likely see you ever again.


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