/lgbt/ - LGBT

>>4136
>>4135
>yeah i just want to wear feminine clothing in the safety of my own bedroom and nowhere else
and people get mad when you point out "femboys" arent a real thing lol

Just aim for the interpolation of the two. Gender ain't boxes.

>>4137
I want to wear feminine clothes in public too, but I want to do it because I'm out with my boyfriend.
cunt.

>>4138
Gender kinda are boxes though, atleast society treats it like such. Even most of the queer community treats it as such. If I aimed to be both a femboy and a transgirl, then I wouldnt be welcomed in transfem spaces for being a femboy, but I also wouldnt be welcomed in femboy spaces for being a transgirl. I wouldnt fit in anywhere. So im unfortunately forced to choose one.

>>4137
>all boys are masculine! Femboys dont exist
You sound dumb

>>4140
>If I aimed to be both a femboy and a transgirl, then I wouldnt be welcomed in transfem spaces for being a femboy, but I also wouldnt be welcomed in femboy spaces for being a transgirl. I wouldnt fit in anywhere. So im unfortunately forced to choose one.
Sounds like a twitter thing. I've seen people straddle / mix both all the time.
Solution is find healthier spaces, rather than seek conditional acceptance in spaces that require you shatter yourself to fit in. I suggest fedi and the personal websites scene.

>>4129
>now im worried whether or not my male socialization shows through and if its making me uncanny to others
The mere fact that you notice these things as uncanny means you should be able to recognize them in yourself. On the one hand i feel scared of that persons seeming ignorance of boundaries, but on the other hand i feel validated in my ability to recognize the boundaries of others and reassure them i'm not a threat. The only negative is that i'm working through these things by picking up on the social cues of others, while you should only be able to get so far without becoming active and actually girlmoding. Recently i came across a woman who complimented me on my shirt recently, so maybe i actually do pass, but i was already moving on and didn't know if or what to reply.

>>4130
I'm not good at all at recognizing things as uncanny. I know basic stuff like being loud and boisterous and calling people bro comes off as male socialized, but I can't recognize the more subtle things. Doesnt help that i have virtually no social skills whatsoever and rarely ever catch social cues. Im not good at recognizing peoples boundaries unless they tell me, so I usually just default to not doing or saying anything unless they speak to me first or tell me to do something. I genuinely have no idea if my male socialization shows and dont know how to tell if it does.

> It genuinely seems like so many of them don’t have the part of the brain that makes them cringe
Idk, but it comes across as oddly performative. It’s kind of like a “Oh, you cis normies think I’m a freak because I’m trans? Let me show you how weird and horny I can be online!”

>>4132
Also, obviously no one should cater to the cis but there does seem to be a weird way in which people generally overcompensate for their insecurities by being annoying or abrasive.

>>4131
Well no choice except to be more around other women, even while manmoding, until it clicks.

>>2608
Not to be "That Guy"
but the difference between bi and pan is;

pan: you are attracted to people *irregardless* of gender (you don't find gendered traits to be specifically attractive)

bi: you find people attractive *because* of their gender traits, whether it be masc/fem/neutral.

the names for both of them are kind of confusing tbh

>>2146
>how malleable is orientation and gender identity in adulthood?
Yes
We can make everyone queer or bi (etc).
I came to this "LGBT" thing late (like 5 years into adulthood or more, is fuzzy)
So I will not give out marching orders at this time. It certainly is in the realm of possibility.
Whether it should be done, that's a different issue. We need to think about whether we should in addition to if we could.
>>1297
>attraction to cisgender men and women
Sounds nutso.
I am mostly straight. I have of course jacked it to all sort of trans folk (girlish boys, as well, possibly, is fuzzy).

>>3640
>bi: you find people attractive *because* of their gender traits, whether it be masc/fem/neutral
Gendered traits are not that important.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>2146
>So how malleable is orientation and gender identity in adulthood? I've heard of HRT changing orientation before

I dont think hrt actually changes orientation. Most examples of it are just straight or gay people becoming bi when they take hrt, but its most likely that they were always bi but just couldnt imagine themselves with both genders until they transitioned into the body they wanted. The only thing hrt is changing is their bodies, not their sexuality.
>>1297
Im pretty sure that it doesnt have anything to do with whether theyre cis or not. Tons of bi people are trans or date trans people

>>1656
based

Probably the hideous, clashing color design on the flag. Most of the tumblrsexuals have terrible flags. Bi Pride flag is the best design (it was designed by a gay man)

>>3958
how much? i dont want my gf nor mother to be saddened by my passing

OP is very transphobic

>>3956
then don't do it, lol

You should stay alive so we could laugh at you or cry for you. One or the other I don't know.

You will never be a gender

>>4002
You need to get it out of your head that “modern construct” is bashing. My PC is modern and so is my Switch. It’s not a dirty word. Nothing wrong with being new.

First of all, scholarly work is about argument and evidence, not how new something is. I could make up some garbage about the moon being made of cheese, publish it, and brag about how it’s better that 30 year old NASA studies because it’s more recent, but that doesn’t make it true. Secondly, you provided no criticism of any of their points.

D’Emilio’s basic argument is that people who had same sex desires or engaged in same sex behavior were distributed throughout society. Industrial capitalism brought them all to cities where they developed a unique culture and identity and the notion of “being gay” was then invented. There’s nothing homophobic or ahistoric about this and simply pointing out that two guys fucked once 500 years ago doesn’t prove D’Emilio wrong.

You want to hold on to some essentialist understanding of identity, that LGBT identities are just baked into nature. Well nothing is. Come back when you’ve learned to do more than lame Wikipedia research and playing the homophobe card.

>>4005
>You need to get it out of your head that “modern construct” is bashing.

>still can't form a cohesive argument and still has to move the goal posts after being thoroughly BTFO
<Come back when you’ve learned to do more than lame Wikipedia research and playing the homophobe card.
Ok, lad.

Just in case you aren't the dipshit who deleted the posts I replied to, or who got banned, this is what I'm arguing against and what you're defending, lol.
>>3910
>>3911

I doubt a homophobe will have much of a fun time on /lgbt/.

>>4005
That's like saying heterosexual people never existed until industrial capitalism or for matter that "woman" and "man" never existed. Or it's also like saying "Black" or "white" people never existed before colonialism.

Of course, the bourgeois family never existed before industrial capitalism. But queer is a privative defined in terms of exclusion from straight bourgeois society. "Straight" is the social construct. Gay is not.

>>4114
>That's like saying heterosexual people never existed until industrial capitalism
That's true. Before the modern period, European society was much more sexually fluid and there were harsh punishments for sex acts that violated the moral law. Monks would mock 'marry' their cloister brothers while remaining celibate while sodomy was a mortal sin. Pederasty and child sexuality were common. Even then, the Church barely enforced punishments for sodomy until the Crusades, after which pederasty and sodomy became associated with 'Saracens' and Jews. Even the term 'heterosexual' was coined by Victorian sexologists like Krafft-Ebing as the mental disease of "excessive attachment to the opposite sex" way back in the 1880s.

>Or it's also like saying "Black" or "white" people never existed before colonialism.
If you were a Zulu tribesman in the 1600s, would you have identified yourself as a black person? As someone who's skin color was black? Its colonialism and enslavement that opened the door for a common black identity because it ripped enslaved Africans out of their native culture, severing their family ties, severing them from their language and region and placing them in a lower caste called 'black.' Its only through enslavement that people came to be classified according to their skin color and built a shared culture based on the class position they'd been forced into. There were no "black people" before colonialism. People saw themselves as Hausa, Igbo, Zulu etc. they related to their own tribes, languages, and religions, and practically everyone around them had dark skin, so there was no sense of being "black" as some special identifier. In texts written in native African languages like Ge'ez or Hausa, the authors never self identify as black.

>"Straight" is the social construct. Gay is not.
Straight and gay both go together. A straight person is someone who, by definition, is not gay and a gay person is someone who, by definition, is not straight. You can't know one without knowing the other. If queer is defined by exclusion from bourgeois society, then queer is a social construct because its contingent on bourgeois society for it to come into existence in the first place. Like how 'proletarian' is a product of bourgeois society and didn't existPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

the political establishment on both ends have abandonment them. and also, transwomen are smart and cute and so are marxists. check mate liberals

>>3571
Just be a nice and kind person. She might have autism and need to be taught social cues. Be patient

trans girl here. my only tip is that if she is feeling dysphoric, try and remind her that you see her as a woman and that she shouldnt let the feeling take over how she feels about herself, as hard as it is

its 11 am so excuse me if im just saying nonsense

>>4091
>>4092
He's mid, he's likely cut though which is a turnoff for me so i probably wouldn't suck him tbh

>>4092
He is cute, but his lazy eye and chin? something around his mounth makes him lose some points and look dumb, so he is slightly below average, but not too bad. Also, he is really smart (got a 4), probably on STEM, doesn't go outside much and has a good computer which means he would make a good boyfriend.

>>4092
I think I would, but only if got to play with him after.

>but I don't see foids gooning to him like Luigi.
I only found this, the others were saying he is ugly.

What do you think of shaved Lenin?

>>4102
Why did you post this here? It's a mildly entertaining article but I don't see how it relates to the theme of the thread.

>>4091
>bad skin
>lazy eye
>weird chin
>dresses like a nerd
>reddit sense of humor
I'm good thx

>>4095
Mentally healthy women have at least amicable relations with the men of their lives. None of this all-or-nothing nonsense you're spouting.

>>4109
you sound indistinguishable from a /pol/ack talking about race

>>4109
Only only hetmoids, the 90% bimoids are also there, have you thought that maybe the wrong thing about them is that they are attracted to women?

>(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
borderline personality disorder people doing negative dialectics is not allowed? no wonder there are so few bisexuals posting here. Mods please let people like Jacques from Seeking Derangements podcast to post here

>>4058
>krav maga
>WORK OUT EVERYDAY. Be strong, be buff,
>>4062
>we can literally be a "warrior class" of the LGBT
due to AIDS/etc, the gay has been recuperated by bourgeois dictatorship into a sanitized fitness model looks identical to the model of the settler nazi/Zionist racial ideal. Literally pale Aryan olympic hunks like in that Leni Riefenstahl nazi propaganda movie about how Germans will win in the Olympics lol. Gays even fetishize settler icons like cops/military/cowboys/"indians" and other colonial figures of bourgeois power and hegemony. The aestheticized politics of the Village People is so fascist that Donald Trump loves them, and Zionists fly LGBT pride flags to rationalize their holocaust. We must liberate fitness culture from the political economy of eugenics and monetized Instagram thirst traps so you can pay rent

>>4124
>Jacques from Seeking Derangements podcast
literally who?

same here
except i hope you're alright and get back in touch every day

>>3768
So let me get this straight, you:
>like the idea of love
and
>feel jealous of others' relationships

but you also
>get drained rapidly by social interaction
and
>never liked anyone romantically

Maybe you enjoy thinking and fantasizing more about a romantic relation than actually being in one? Like some people might fantasize about fighting or being an explorer than actually going through the risks and hardship those would entail. No offense intended, you're far from the only person who (might) do this.

>>3814
OP here. It's better now, I don't think about her nearly as much. If I could go back and do it better, sure. But I didn't lose much special.
Mind I ask your story anon?

>>3455
Force yourself to have sex with someone else. I've been through this recently and it's as disgustingly simple as that. The body leads and the heart follows

>>3768
Romance as a special category of socializing is bullshit and worthless. The only quintessentially romantic thing is enmeshment and mutual idealization. These are harmful. Ask yourself if you enjoy/are relaxed in their presence, and if you have good sexual chemistry (literally chemistry, like u enjoy how they smell and taste and all that). If these are both yes, you've found a winner. They check the fundamental boxes. Everything else is negotiations.

I say negotiations because including someone in your life means re-arranging your life a little to make space for them.

Based on your situation there are certain considerations. There are essentially 4 positions. 1: you both have full lives, but you need someone to fuck. This relationship is mainly about sexual chemistry and basic trust. You don't need to love who they are as a person or match them in everything. Your lives intersect minimally, where necessary. You may grow to love them or share more in common with them over time but that isn't necessary. 2 and 3: one of you has a life and the other is kind of a loser. The one with a life gatekeeps and focuses on not losing their center (i.e. not losing what makes them valuable in the first place, which is their self-completeness), and the other one chases and attempts to demonstrate value while weaseling into the other's life more and more. Figure out which one you are and act accordingly. 4: you both have no life. This is perfect for Romance. Success in this configuration requires similar interests, experiences, personalities, etc. Maybe triggering each other's childhood wounds and broken sense of what love is. You are each other's soulmates, it is fated love, etc. You both have nothing else going on, so you can make each other your whole world.

If you're politically active that basically already puts you in the "has a life" category so you should look for either someone who minimally enters your life, or someone who totally worships you, spends money on you, makes you laugh, makes you orgasm, generally makes your life easier and more fun (while not gumming up the works and makingPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I found myself in a relationship that started strong only for it to go straight to shit after 3 years. It started after we went a full year with no sex it was then that he revealed that he wasn't gay but asexual the entire time, now I had my suspicions since he didnt like any anal or oral but I let it slide since I was a virgin when we met and was naive, when the fighting stopped after that bombshell we broke up only for covid to hit a week later and for him to loose his job.
Now I don't work as I'm doctor diagnosed autistic and he said that I was never to look for work since he wanted to take care of me. This started an extremely fucked situation since now with my limited tismbux I had to help him until he found work and since the apartment was in my name so if he didn't have any money left he would be homeless (I can't cover his food expenses or phone bill) but even though I was seething with hate over being lied too I didn't want to betray my morals and just throw him into the capitalist death machine so I helped him and now he has a job he likes and we are friends and he takes care of me as we got over our differences since.
Now I'm still a socially retarded mess but stable in life, so in a few months time after that I ended up finding someone else but now it's long distance….but when he came up here to Canada all the way from the states to pound my small pale emo "these scars are proof I'm alive" snow bunny butt in the first time in my life while I wore a kitty maid outfit it was the best time in my life and even though I now only get sex once a year and only see him in person once a year I'm still happy and my ex turned friend enjoys the new dynamic since he can take care of me and himself money wise and he and I like our friendship more though he wants the three of us living together that I find a little weird. The distance sucks and I do get depressed because of it but I can't see myself ever being disloyal it's not in my blood I suppose.
I hope one day he does move up here. Relationships are chaotic…and I guess it's really never known where one can end up.

>>4049
Why would you get angry at him for being asexual though? Especially when he was willing to do sex acts with you. Seems like a weird thing to break up with someone about.

>>3829
>>3847
Op here. I just wanted a looksmatch boyfriend from my area

>>3850
Where do you live?

>>3889
Brazil ☠️

>>3777
For what it's worth, as a dude in the deep south I had a lot of luck using an app for a community which has a lot of queer members (furry) which was more meetup focused. Found a couple of friends and within the first month met a guy I've now been in a committed relationship with for almost two years. I think you need to find community in general. Romance shouldn't even be a primary motivator at this point. Finding real life friends who can relate to you about your sexuality is an emergency situation for you. Isolation is damaging you.

>>4037
The only friend I had abandoned me
In fact I was the one constantly spamming his DC with messages left and right then he started talking less and less and I got the message, I just stopped texting him and he hasn't said anything for 2 weeks, it's time to let go
It is really fucking sad and devastating. We were friends since we were 12