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File: 1735923010182.jpg (94.8 KB, 960x540, harry-potter-books-in-orde….jpg)

 

Ranking installments of everyone's favorite transphobic white angloid attempt at writing shonen with antisemitic undertones because my 50 y.o. mom is a Rickman/Snape fan and forces our entire family to rewatch all of the movies each holiday season.

Worst - Prisoner of Azkaban. Really unpopular opinion, but I feel this is the messiest out of the early books, with a generic "believe in yourself to deafeat a monster (dementor)" shonen message told with the help of the atrocious time travel subplot (JKR's worst mistake besides, y'know, becaming a far-right grifter) and untolerable for me at least amount of quidditch padding.

5th place - Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows (ranked as one book because HBP is just a set-up for DH's story, it would have pretty much zero literary value as a standalone book) A dissapointing end to the series. Voldermort fully turns into a cartoon villain and stops being a credible threeat to any minimally adult reader (despite showing signs of being capable of more in GoF and OoF). Also I hate how Voldemort invokes Hitler symbolism despite, if anything, having more in common with Grand Wizard (pun intended) of the Klan. The story becames irredeemably reactionary, with Voldemort being defeated by the mystical "power of love", Dumbledore being venerated as a saint by the narrative (despite there being a fucking perfect set-up to make him a "second main villain"), Hermione accepting the naturality of the House Elves' slavery and Harry becaming a wizarding cop treated as a happy ending.

4th place - Philosopher's Stone. I know it was intended as purely children's book originally, but it still looks intolerably cartoony and cheesy compared to the later parts.

3rd place - Chamber of Secrets. Again, really unpopular opinion, but this is my favorite out of the early books. A nice kid-friendly horror/magical mystery story with a satisfying resolution and relatable themes about struggling with one's identity. And Lockhart is hilariois, at least for my (shitty) taste.

2nd place - Order of Phoenix. If it it was just a little less LONG, it would have been a great coming-of-age story, and JKR's political and psychological writing had peaked there.

Best - Goblet of Fire. Dumbledore asked calmly.

(This is rating books only. If I were to rate movies, I'd begrudgingly split HBP away from DH and rate it as a worst movie, below PoA, but still rate two parts of DH as one installment, and switch the rankings of GoF and OoF, but the rest of the ranking would have stayed the same)

Funny, it's the opposite for me. Goblet of Fire is shonen slop of the worst calibre, and Order of the Phoenix is too much up its own ass. Half-Blood Prince is cringekino and my second favorite. Azkaban is fun so it's the better book of the franchise. But I haven't read these books in 8 years and I don't think I'll ever read them again. Never watched the movies either.

>>44910
Funny, but I kind of get you. The main reason I enjoyed GoF so much when I last read it (I was like 18 I think, which means it should have been 9 years ago) is the very well, in my opinion, excuted detective/suspence aspect of "Who had put Harry's name in the Goblet?". Well, and the scene at the graveyard was cool. The rest is… forgettable at best honestly, and the everything about the Tournament itself, from the way it is introduced to the tasks themselves is, indeed "shonen slop of the worst calibre". And I would have rated PoA higher, if it wasn't for that horrible time travel part.

>>44911
Yeah the time travel sucks, I agree

I think goblet of fire really solidifies how shitty Harry is as a protagonist. At no point is he ever on the initiative. Everything happens either around him or to him and all the actual legwork falls on the supporting cast to drag his dumb ass across the proverbial finish line.

>>44919
Harry is a vessel for the ensemble cast. I hated the more plot-ish moments for this reason, tbh.

>>44907
The series started going to shit after the Goblet of Fire, because Voldemort stopped being a cartoon villain that essentially ended every book saying "FOILED AGAIN! BLAST THAT HARRY POTTER AND HIS MEDDLING FRIENDS! I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME HARRY! NEXT TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!" because he got resurrected and became a clumsy Hitler allegory instead. After that point, it felt like the books forgot that they're whimsical fairy tales about a magical school and started trying to be serious, which put Rowling a bit out of her element. What's more, she basically set herself up for failure because she essentially began to make the books more and more into a sort of faux political allegory, which meant that she doomed the books to have a shitty ending because her own politics wouldn't allow for anything that would approach a good ending.

The best moment in the entire franchise was when in Fantastic Beats 2 Grindelwald revealed that another World War was imminent and that it was the Wizard's responsibility to reveal the secret to prevent it. In this moment Grindelwald actually became for a brief moment a somewhat cool and serious villain, an not basically just gay Voldemort 2. Two bad they never seriously followed up on that motif and went with some shitty convoluted electoralist story instead, again.

The true synthesis between

-wizards stay in hiding and fight the supremacists

and

-wizards reveal their existence and oppress the humans

would have obviously been:

-Wizards reveal their existence and use their powers for the good of society abolishing the present state of things to live with humans in harmony or whatever.

But no the noble lie needs to persist because le system works liberalism something.


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