>>2339737At the very least, the ACP provides a nice jobber. We haven't had a good jobber in the scene in a while. Will they turn heel? It remains to be seen. Perhaps they've always been a heel.
You know, I think the key to where we're at in terms of the internet is, like, they're this super new. Honestly, the internet is super new. If you're in your 20s, you're part of the first generation of people who have lived in a totally post-internet world. Like, I grew up having access to the internet. People older than me had a period where they were like—it was like going from black and white to color TV, you know? If you'd never experienced what black and white TV was like, it's hard to relate to that. If you grew up in color TV, I would imagine, you know?
So the internet is very new, and then we have the social media internet, which is very new, and the post-social media internet is very new, and the post-post-social media internet is basically happening as we speak. That's the present. I think that social media is a tool to reach people to a degree, but there are people who have mastered the algorithm. There are people who have mastered promoting things on Instagram. I have friends who do that, like Nullify. I can have them promote our brand. There's no need for me to have my own Instagram and to be doing that. Ergo, social media kind of feels a little bit corporatized, right? Especially in a post-Palestinian genocide—or a genocide that's currently happening—where people want to get information, and the platforms that be won't allow that information to be put out.
People are starting to look foralternatives, and I think that's why my magazine has had any level of success. I knew that I couldn't compete with YouTubers. I knew that I couldn't compete with Second Thought, because you know how much money probably goes just into his production budget? A lot. And you know how many leftist YouTubers there already are? A lot.
And here's the thing: yes, they make a lot of money. Yeah, they're doing well for themselves. But I don't really care about the money. I care about the money to a degree where I want to be stable. I want to be housed. But I don't care about being rich. I don't want a bunch of material possessions. In fact, I want less of them. I want to live a very minimalist lifestyle. I'm on that Jesus shit. I just need a backpack with some clothes, a laptop, and a place to sleep and my dog. And I'm good. And I think wanting anything more than that is just not my bag.
But the thing is, with those YouTubers, they are going to engage in a form of self-censorship. No one on YouTube could cover the Adriana Smith case with the graphic, grotesque detail, from the angle that I did. I just did, because we are operating our own platform, because we are operating our own network of people, because we have no advertisers to worry about. No worrying about the algorithm. "Oh, well, you know, that's not going to do well with the algorithm, and then I'm not going to make enough money from my video to fund the next one." I don't have to worry about that. I just put it out. Fucking whatever I believe, I'm putting it out.
The downside is that we don't have that infrastructure to fund this. Like, I don't have ad revenue coming in from YouTube every month from all of my legacy content. I would love it if those people would pitch in to, like, help me. I've actually spoken to the Means TV people to see if they had any type of leads or anything that I could do to help them. And we had a long conversation, it was enlightening. But I think that they are not in a revolutionary sort of mindset, at least not in the way I am, where I believe that we can make real change happen this decade. They don't.
When you tell me that you're happy you're going to put your kid through college with your streaming platform's profits, while also your kid is like a baby—well, that tells me that your long-term plans are getting embedded with the system. And you know, I'm not putting that against them. A lot of those guys do good work. I watch the majority of those people to some degree. I am banned from fucking—you got Nick's Discord server still. He banned me personally, as a matter of fact, because I called him out for talking too much about YouTube drama.
Point is, I'm not hating on those people, but I'm operating in a different space. We don't have that cash. We don't have that cash flow. But I think it's important—I think it's really important—to have ways to reach people that aren't tied to social media. Because ultimately, the people who have the social media, who have the most followers, who have, you know, mastered the game of the algorithm, aren't necessarily the people who are the most revolutionary or have the best ideas.
Just because you have created a thousand different accounts under different names—whether it's Answer or PSL or fucking whatever—and boosted yourself a bunch of times, and now you can control the narrative at the campus fucking encampments because your party's there with the megaphone, you got the social media reach, and all the actual activists who actually organized the thing can't get out to anybody because they're shadowbanned—and that really happened, I've written about it.
But then, not so long ago—okay, it was last month—in Rochester, New York, there were university workers who were striking. They planned a direct action. They were going to disrupt the graduation ceremony because, fuck yeah. And the guy came to me and reached out to me and said, “Hey, can you put this on your platform so that way I can use your platform to send this to all the people who are striking?” And I posted the fucking details of that direct action. And that, to me, is the goal. That's really what this is all about.
Houdini magazine has a specific vibe and editorial feel, but we can talk about anything in a culture magazine, the infrastructure behind that is the real important part. So we're in a post-post-social media era. And Houdini Magazine is operating in a blue ocean. We have no competitors. The only website I would think would be competing with me would be Jacobin, and they have a lot of financial structure, backing, and they're also old style media. They're not post-print.
I think we're a post-print magazine. We don't do monthly print issues and never intended to. I can get into that, and I'm not going to get into it here. They also are ivory tower. You're not getting published in Jacobin, you know, if you're having an urgent issue and you're not well-connected, well-off, college-educated PMC-class individual. That's just the facts of it.
I've sent article after article. I've watched these articles get 20,000, 30,000 views and visits. We just hit fucking half a million visitors, with almost half of those being in the last six months since I started doing this full-time. And yet, I still can't get published by any of these legacy media outlets. And maybe though—yeah, I should fucking reach out to Rolling Stone or something that's not specifically leftist, because they might be more open to working with someone who's not a college-educated millennial. Or a token minority. Because, you know, they do be doing that shit too, huh?
The internet—like you said—the internet provides a global reach. I have people who read me in the UK. I have, actually, a really sizable UK audience. And I'm thinking to myself, as a revolutionary, we know that we have to do internationalism. The imperial core extends beyond the concept of traditional borders, but the internet doesn't know borders. Especially in a post-Great Firewall era where I can communicate with actual Chinese comrades on Red Note. And I have. It's powerful.
Now if we want to get into the money thing—man, you want to get into the money thing? Here's the rub with the money thing. I was working at Whataburger. I worked at Whataburger for about three weeks. I made less than $300 working for three weeks. In order to stay alive, you need about $300 a week in this country in order to keep your rent. Ergo, working at Whataburger would end up homeless. Like, it wouldn't have helped me. It would've just given me something to do for four to six hours, three days a week.
And the way that they schedule you is they just call you: “Hey, can you come in?” So you can't go get a job somewhere else, because the other job is doing that shit too. And I had this whole thing where I was like, "okay, well I have a magazine and I'm working at Whataburger to get by. I'm going to turn it into content. I'm going to make it a Patreon exclusive series." You know, I'm on that grine set, bro. But ultimately, it just didn't work out. And then I ended up moving to Florida where I know a lot of folks. So I ended up having to quit that job. There's no Whataburger in Florida. That's a Texas thing.
But the money thing is: this pays my life. I do not make enough money to do it full time, and I'm stuck in a constant state of precariousness. But I would also be stuck in that same constant state of precariousness if I was working a regular wage labor job, but without the contributions I believe deep down I'm making to the movement. Nearly a quarter million new visits in the last 6 months. I started doing it full time 6 months ago.
January 2025, I got fired from a help desk position. I've done sysadmin and help desk work for seven, eight years now. Answering phones, you know, 70+ phone calls a day, dealing with customer issues all fucking day. Account management, email issues, MFA bullshit. Making $17 to $19 an hour. I cannot find a job like that to save my fucking life. I cannot find a job like that. I don't know what the fuck happened to the economy. I cannot find a job like that.
And I was reading, Klarna replaced all their customer service people with AI. And I'm like, that's probably why. It's probably why. Something in myself—I need to be doing this full time. If this is actually—like, but that's the thing. I feel like I'm a grifter. I feel like I'm a grifter, dude. Like, I don't feel like I'm actually contributing anything valuable to the movement. I don't feel like I'm contributing anything valuable to really anything. I feel like I'm a fucking e-begger. I feel like I'm begging for people to send me money on the internet. I feel like I'm a fucking grifter.
Even though I believe everything that I'm telling you, even though I believe everything that I've ever published—you know, if I said that shit, I believed that. I meant that shit. I might have been wrong about it, but I meant it. I have principles I operate on. I've written about them. I have an honor code. I'm not a grifter. I'm not trying to take advantage of anybody.
But I feel like that, because I don't have a physical, tangible object to give you. I don't have a physical product to give you. I got some print-on-demand t-shirts if you want to wear the Houdini logo. That's it. Commidity fetishism? Perhaps.
So I'm thinking to myself, if I don't want to be a grifter, another e-begger—if I want to have people who actually contribute money to me and believe in me—I have to have a physical, tangible object to give to them. To show them proof of my labor. I really, really believe that I could get a publishing wing started and going. I do believe in this paperback shit. And everyone I've spoken to has shown interest. And I totally believe I could get the funding for it. I believe our Kickstarter could be a success. The next Robert E Howard will be published by Houdini.
But I can't make that shit happen if I don't even have a place to mail out the books from, right?
But I feel like a grifter. I feel like, you know, even though I run this magazine, even though it took me literally 12 hours to write that Adriana Smith article—literally sat down and wrote that shit, took me all day—even though actual labor goes into this magazine, I feel like a grifter.
When people call me a grifter, I feel that shit. Like, it really does upset me. It bothers the shit out of me. Because I'm not trying to take advantage of anyone. I don't want a lot of material possessions. I don't want a bunch of shit. I'm not trying to finesse you into helping me buy a Ferrari or some stupid shit. I want stability. I want a place to live. Dog food for the dog. And a community. And the ability to contribute to something bigger than myself. And I believe that the revolutionary movement is that thing. But I still feel like a grifter.
So it is. This voice message is 15 minutes long and I'm posting it. I don't give a fuck.