>>666466>vooting in a rigged spectacledisgusting
here, have a jumping spider, who wouldnt win this liberal popularity contest despite being cute and useful
>>666495Just added Jumping Spider to the poll!!!!!!!!!!!!! My
deepest apologies if you requested it in the animal candidate registration thread and I didn't see it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>666519DON'T WORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The
FINAL election will be
IMPOSSIBLE to rig!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a
PLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>666808When you think about it apes are just tree climbing rodents
or wagucucking rodents ;____;.
Since no other party has presented a comprehensive vision yet, I, as the main representative of the Primate Party, shall be the first.
I present to you:
🦍 The Primate Party 10-Point Program
"From the Canopy to the Commons"
1. Collective Care as Core Policy
Primate troops care for each other's young and sick. We support universal healthcare, childcare, eldercare, and paid caregiving—because well-being is communal.
2. Grooming for All
Social grooming builds trust and bonds. We propose guaranteed mental health care, community centers, and work-free time to nurture social relationships.
3. Troop Democracy
Many primates make group decisions through consensus or subtle signaling. We advocate for participatory democracy, workplace self-management, and neighborhood assemblies.
4. Resource Sharing Over Hoarding
In primate groups, food is often shared to maintain group cohesion. We demand a radical redistribution of our common wealth, food security programs, and commons-based resource management. All is for all!
5. Habitat Defense
Primates defend their territory to preserve community survival. We support climate justice, land back movements, and increased protections for common public land.
6. Conflict De-escalation, Not Domination
Bonobos resolve conflict through social bonding (and lots of sexo); We reject punitive justice as a means of rehabilitation in favor of restorative models and the aim to promote nonviolent resolution practices.
7. Tool Use for Collective Good
Primates use tools creatively and have no concept of IP. We call for the standardization of FOSS as a core principle in all software development, public R&D, and tech designed to meet social needs, not profit motives.
8. Mobility and Freedom of Movement
Primates travel freely within their ranges. We stand for the abolition of borders, for migrant rights, for free public transportation, and for an end to private land use.
9. Intergenerational Knowledge Transmission
Primates pass on skills and traditions freely amongst themselves. We call for free lifelong education, cultural preservation programs, and support for language diversity.
10. Solidarity Across Species
Primate empathy isn't limited solely to their own kind. Unlike many of our opponents, we support rights for all species, anti-speciesist policies, and sustainable cohabitation with the broader biosphere.
Vote smart. Vote Primate.
This message has been approved by the Primate Party Election Committee.
>>667282You see, folks, this is exactly the kind of smear tactic we all expected coming into this election. No policy substance, just going straight for that "you are literally hitler" card from the get-go. It is our vision that these kinds of low blows should have no place in a reasonable political debate.
>>667283The Primate Party also stands with the Palestinian cause, up to and including armed resistance against the invasive species that is the settler-colonial state of Israel. We reject all such ethno-nationalist projects and support a one-state solution in the form of a common secular Palestinian state that acts in the interests of all ethnic and religious groups within the region.
This message has been approved by the Primate Party Election Committee. >>667303As the Primate Party's representative, I would like to propose an election coalition be formed between the Bird Party, the Feline Party, and ourselves to combine our collective efforts into a popular anti-jellyfish front. Depending on the results, we would be willing to accept a minority position within this hypothetical future coalition government as long as at least one of our representatives gets a ministerial position.
>>667317If you are going to smear us, at least be brave enough to stand behind your words by stating who is sponsoring your message of division and hate rather than printing out such lowbrow hit pieces anonymously.
This message has been approved by the Primate Party Election Committee. >>667327All dolphins ARE rapists though
And thats still not addressing the fact that this element exists and that they all had millions of followers… you haven’t even condemned them…
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