I must confess
We have been spying on you,
We did kill MLK,
We did kill Malcolm X,
9/11 was an inside job,
We did kill Jeffrey Epstein,
And we also killed Santa Claus.
I don’t know if people noticed the last one before but my point is that I’m putting myself in danger by admitting this. I’m currently on a plane to Saint Petersburg and I’m taking refuge in Russia.