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Not reporting is bourgeois


 

Disney recently started brainstorming and putting out feelers on how to create an IP that appeals to young men.

Some hyperbolic idpol takes aside, this feels like a big, famous restaurant asking how to make meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

Hey Disney, get this: "Action man kills the bad guys."

And that comes with lots of variations. Action commando kills the goons. Action spy kills the henchmen. Action cop kills the gangsters. Action knight kills the foul knaves. Action fantasy hero kills the monsters. Action barbarian kills the sorcerer. Action space captain kills the aliens. So on and so forth. You almost limitless options to freshen things up with new settings and concepts, while basically just making the same movie over and over again.

This was something that I thought Hollywood had down to a science, but apparently big media companies like Disney don't know this anymore.

I feel a creeping degradation of American media where it feels like they don't know how to make their old staples anymore.

>Hey Disney, get this: "Action man kills the bad guys."
It's about what not to do.
<People can't be talking face-to-face for too long or else the movie is "prentious".
<Women cannot consciously make important plot decisions.
<Male characters need to look coolly detached in 90% of the scenes.
<Male protagonists can only show strong emotions through a sublimated homoerotic attraction to their nemesis, sometimes by proxy of reacting to the death of their girlfriend.
<All significant female characters need to look conventionally attractive.
<The male main cast can't look better groomed than your dad, their asses needs to be throughly unwiped.

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>>711937
I said hyperbolic idpol takes aside, anon, but here's a classic "action man kills the bad guys" movie

<People can't be talking face-to-face for too long or else the movie is "prentious".

Don't know what the specific criteria for this are, but there are plenty of dialogue scenes.

<Women cannot consciously make important plot decisions.

Leeloo makes plot decisions

<Male characters need to look coolly detached in 90% of the scenes.

No.

<Male protagonists can only show strong emotions through a sublimated homoerotic attraction to their nemesis, sometimes by proxy of reacting to the death of their girlfriend.

The main action man protagonist never meets the main human villain face-to-face, so no.

<All significant female characters need to look conventionally attractive.

Yes.

<The male main cast can't look better groomed than your dad, their asses needs to be throughly unwiped.

I don't know how well groomed you would consider 90s Bruce Willis to be, but he's not poorly groomed.

>>711941
If you released The Fifth Element today it would absolutely bomb with zoomers, even if the effects weren't dated. Too weird, too French, and we don't want to watch a balding 40-year-old boomer as an action hero.

File: 1758633055686.jpg (538.48 KB, 1066x1600, total recall.jpg)

>>711937
>>711941
Here's another one.

<People can't be talking face-to-face for too long or else the movie is "prentious".

Once again, there's plenty of dialogue.

<Women cannot consciously make important plot decisions.

I'm fairly sure that I remember the rebel love interest making important plot decisions

<Male characters need to look coolly detached in 90% of the scenes.

Sort of, not really.

><Male protagonists can only show strong emotions through a sublimated homoerotic attraction to their nemesis, sometimes by proxy of reacting to the death of their girlfriend.

I don't remember any homoeroticism with the villain, and the love interest lady doesn't die

<All significant female characters need to look conventionally attractive.

Yes.

<The male main cast can't look better groomed than your dad, their asses needs to be throughly unwiped.

Arnold Schwarzeuyghur's character looks fairly well groomed throughout the movie

>>711943
Maybe if every antagonist was a cartoonish hook nosed juden and/or coal black uyghur all the women are either massive histrionic harpies that fucking die or giant titty blonde/blue eyed holes. Then at the end Arnold looks up to the sky to see a smiling Hitler and Odin looking down.

>>711944
What the fuck are you talking about?

>>711941
>>711943
>Don't know what the specific criteria for this are, but there are plenty of dialogue scenes.
It's not so much length as being the type of scene that fundamentally breaks up the action of the scene, the dialogue being the main point of conflict: not two men uttering pithy lines, jerking each others egos or screaming at one another, but a conflict of ideas (like the criticism of ideology scene in snowpiercer).

>I don't know how well groomed you would consider 90s Bruce Willis to be, but he's not poorly groomed.

>Arnold Schwarzeuyghur's character looks fairly well groomed throughout the movie
I didn't mean "has to look like a literal ogre", think about what your dad would have looked like at his wedding. Clean-shaven Timothée Chalamet is pushing it.

>>711950
I don't even get what you're trying to say here

You don't like the concept of movies that appeal to young men because they won't stop the action dead in its tracks to deliver a sermon, and the men look like grooms at a wedding instead of twinks?

Also, in general, not everything needs to be some kind of 2deep sermon. You can have popcorn flicks.

>>711951
>I don't even get what you're trying to say here
Keep in mind there are decades of movies "that appeal to young men". The point is that there *is* a formula more narrow than "man does action" and svgma moids are unreasonably pissy about any semi-recent deviation from it. For decades market research has shown most women are willing to engage with prominent male characters, while the exact reverse applies to men. The maulerites have been praising the recent top gun and naked gun heh, thinly veiled symbolism sequels, literally for being this painfully narrow continuation of decade-old tropes, which is why i find your OP irritatingly narrow.

>>711980
That's bullshit, your criteria was bullshit and it wasnt even hard to think of counterexamples.

The only thing you need to avoid is actively resenting young men.

>>711949
How Total Recall would have to be "updated" to appeal to your average 20 year old male in 2025.

>>711932
Disney could just buy demon slayer and solo leveling but instead there gonna lose millions making some shitass marvel slop tier movie exactly like the anons here described

>>712007
Demon Slayer is a girl anime thobeit.

>this feels like a big, famous restaurant asking how to make meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
the issue is that they want a meatloaf and mashed potatoes franchise they can milk for another decade, they don't want to take on multiple small bets, they want to present to their c-suites "look, we have Action Man and we have all this planned out for the Action Man Extended Universe for the foreseeable future and we expect a return in the order of billions or perhaps trillions of dollars over the next 15 years or so", because if the c-suites see "we are planning to release Action Man, and these other 20 IPs and see what sticks", they're going to shit themselves. This is NOT something Disney can do anymore.

>>712006
I have fond memories of my dad sitting me down to watch the original total recall, they should just adapt random scifi and pulp novels. Conan the barbarian in the age of chad memes would be a money printer and you could HP lovecraft adaptions for oscarbait horror flicks.

>t.average 23 old male in 2025

>>712009 (me)
And the issue really is not that we cant come up with Action Man and Action Spy, is that people are tired of hugely encompassing continuities, because they fucking suck. People called this out, only nerds want to keep up with multiple timelines and dimensions or whatever worth of continuity, normies were going to drop out eventually when they start to become to hard to follow. This is what originally killed Marvel to begin with, Disney was able to rescue it because they boiled it down to a single continuity. There's no way to square this hole, this is what is making Disney execs nervous, people dont want to keep up with their slop, that's fucking stupid

Jesus everyone on this thread sounds like they're 45. If you wanna know what a successful dude movie looks like today, it's the Deadpool-Wolverine movie and Dune 2. Literally proven box office smash hits. Talking about old Bruce Willis and Schwarzeuyghur movies instead makes you sound hilariously out-of-touch and old. And no, zoomer men are not all little Eichmanns scared of black people. Their brain has been cooked by TikTok slop and Roblox more than it has been by
racist Twitch streamers.
Also high-profile superhero movies are still doing fine. Disney just fucked up by doing a bunch of who-cares B-lister shit like fucking Shang-Chi. And the company still regularly makes billion-dollar hits lol they're not in trouble.

>>712017
The point wasn't that movies should be like 90s action movies, just that these are classic 90s action movies from the "good old days" that doesn't fit this criteria at all

>>711932
you would think >>711937 is a good summary, but on the other hand, I won't watch any movie that follows those precepts, and I know plenty of "normal" (not over-politicized freaks like us leftypol.org users) that also wouldn't. not because of any political reason but because they are boring. and don't get me wrong, bad, predictable and cliche doesn't necessarily mean boring (see: anime, romantasy, procedurals, etc.) hollywood slop is plain boring even when they regress to the old patriarchal wasp recipe

as much as people talk about aesthetics, I think there is an aesthetics crisis because actually existing fascism is cringe and boring and liberalism can't come up with an alternative. this is why so many movies now are set in the recent past, specially the 90s and 00s. and as much as we like to underestimate people, I think there is a certain consciousness against the disingenuous infantilization of the audience and corporate media in general
<if this piece of media was interesting it wouldn't be a disney production

>this feels like a big, famous restaurant asking how to make meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

disney was never high brow, wtf are you talking about. it never really appealed to young adult men. imo they should focus on what they have always focused: children's media and maybe some occasional nostalgia baiting for adult women

>>712010
You're better than average homie.

>>711932
honestly I think they just cant write for shit anymore. Even when they adapt good IPs they manage to butcher it
they used to give script writing to commies in hiding and get amazing movies, now they just get libs and its shit

>>712044
basically they have nepo babies as writers and directors nowadays

>>712010
Ironically, if they just did straight adaptations, they would be doing well, but the HAVE to change shit and ruin it. They don't have the writing chops to make big changes, and all it does is possible off the established fans.

>>712048
this reminds me of how creatively sterile the upper classes are and how most media from jazz onward has been a working class thing

I hate the modern camera work

The problem is it's impossible for a new IP to satisfy the two requirements:
<be original enough to stand out from existing IP
<be familiar enough to guarantee success
The contradiction is a result of the business model. Everything is too expensive now because it's a giant production, and every project has to justify its own cost. Back in the day they used to have a few big tentpole productions that could reliably bring in the cash and would create the liquidity to fund a bunch of smaller low budget experimental project. Only like 1 in 10 or 20 of those might be a success, but it doesn't take much success to make back its budget plus the budget of the other cheap productions. If you get really lucky you might even be able to turn a small project into a cash cow. Hollywood doesn't do this shit any more. You have some studios like A4 doing smaller budget projects, but the big boys are entirely focused on the mega-budget stuff because they're run by MBAs who don't understand the concept of building a portfolio and having value in a curated selection. You would think the nature of streaming services as a bulk purchase of media access would clue them in, but if anything the opposite has happened (Zaslav deleting like half the HBO library)

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>>712114
> Back in the day they used to have a few big tentpole productions that could reliably bring in the cash and would create the liquidity to fund a bunch of smaller low budget experimental project. Only like 1 in 10 or 20 of those might be a success,
>Hollywood doesn't do this shit any more. You have some studios like A4 doing smaller budget projects,
I wish people would just stop repeating the same stupid made up bullshit from youtubers talking out of their asses.

This is the list of all the Netflix original movies they made in 2024. This is just one single streaming service. There's like a dozen of them. There's never been so many films of all budget categories being made now.

>Be dumb youtuber whose life is centered around raging at half-billion dollar Disney slop and watches nothing else.

>WHY WON'T HOLLYWOOD MAKE ANYTHING BUT BIG BUDGET DISNEY SLOP!!?!?!

>>711937
this sounds like those ai "concept" trailers

the future is ai slop

>>712116
Really, I think what people are noticing, is there are no movies that have any kind of cultural impact anymore, perhaps outside of these big blockbusters. Everyone knows like
>"you complete me"
>"Greed is good"
>"say hello to my little friend!"
>"Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get" or whatever.
I think that's actually because the market for mid budget movies nowadays is so damn immense, no single film can really enter the movie canon in the same way as films once did, because there's so damn many of them so of course everyone isn't watching the same stuff like back when things were only released in theaters and then there is just a handful of films that they rerun all the time on TV like that.

I think it's the same way with music and streaming now too. I don't feel like any of the supposed super stars have the zeitgeist like they once did. I feel like back in the day, when Britney was big. You probably could mention her to anyone and they could sing the hook. Now you take whoever they keep telling you is supposedly the new It Girl, and I swear most of the target demo probably haven't even heard of the name "Sabrina Carpenter" let alone name one of her songs.

>>712122
> I swear most of the target demo
*most of the people outside of the target demo. But I wouldn't be surprised if there are also youngins who are completely oblivious to it too.

>>712116
Having exclusive distribution rights for a film isn't the same thing as producing it, and when you don't promote your catalogue at all those films might as well not exist. Just because something is a "Netflix original" or whatever doesn't mean they actually funded making it.
>youtubers
Projection

>>712133
>>712114
>youtubers
<Projection
Where did you get it from then? Have any actual figures to back up your claims?

< Just because something is a "Netflix original" or whatever doesn't mean they actually funded making it.

>You have some studios like A4 doing smaller budget projects,
And A24 is also largely just a distributor that buys the rights to already made movies that screened at a festival. That's how the indie/art house film world has worked for forever.

>>712133
>and when you don't promote your catalogue at all those films might as well not exist.
Yeah dude, because there are tons of like $50 million dollar or less movies coming out. Some might say more than ever.

Also advertising budgets are always proportional to the production budget, so no shit they are going to promote them less.

Besides theater is dead. Who goes to movie theaters anymore? I think my average the last few years has been like 2-3 max. Nobody wants to pay all that money to go to the theater unless it's some mind-blowing spectacle film that the small screen wouldn't do justice to. Otherwise your shit is going straight to streaming.

>>712155
>Where did you get it from then? Have any actual figures to back up your claims?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_Walt_Disney_Studios_films
Compare the number of films by decade. Ignore the 20th Century Studio and subsidiaries for the 2020s for a more 1:1 comparison.

>>712157
Have you tried counting lmao?
I just picked two random years because I am not about to count a list of 100s.
1992: 21 films
2022: 43 films

>>712122
counterpoint: the joker
it's a movie that interpellated people because it was about decadence, nihilism and a vague and impotent anti-elitism. and that's all the notable movies we are going to get from now on, "falling down" but the guy is a gig worker and his only family is a discord girlfriend (or a literal delusion, in the case of the joker)
I think it has more to do with that quote from marx about capitalism destroying all sentimentalism and fantasies


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