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File: 1608525694723.jpg (85.85 KB, 809x1200, 1569732757118.jpg)

 No.2970[View All]

Perhaps it has become your goal to be more charismatic, uninhibited and sociable.

Let's have a thread where we ask questions and give advice to improve exactly that.
357 posts and 59 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.21197

>>21196
Yes, in essence.

 No.21201

>>21196
Charisma is having a strong understanding of the implicit "rules" that govern human interaction. This can be anything from eye contact, the words you use, body language etc. These rules tend to be complex, contradictory and often difficult to put into words. This usually develops through proper socialisation; properly socialised people seem more "naturally" charismatic as the more you interact with other people, the more you understand the rules. If you only interact with a small circle (especially if they are unsocialised themselves), it is likely that your social skills are stunted because you have a limited exposure to the rules.

If this didn't develop positive traits organically, you must fake them. "Kneel down, move your lips in prayer, and you will believe”, If you put on a facade of charisma, if you act as if you are already charismatic, and if you try and interact with as many people as you can, eventually you will most likely become charismatic yourself. It probably helps if you also form friendships with charismatic people as you unconsciously adopt traits of people you spend a lot of time around.

 No.21202

>>21196
Not that anon but the "fake it till you make it" seems to work

 No.21217

>>21184
How do you hook up in a club anyway?The moment I start noticing that my butt is repeatedly clashing with a girl, I try to slowly turn to her and establish, but that doesn't work that well. At the end of most nights, I go empty handed. What's y'all tricks for hooking up in a club

 No.21218

>>21217
Be good looking and grab their hands. After a while, lower your hands so she has to come closer, then hug her. Then you should know what to do.

 No.21219

>>21218
>Be good looking
I am pretty decent, but I have a babyface. I get the feeling that most chicks my age dig older looking guys

 No.21228

>>21122
>>21124
Okay, so I just asked her:
>on another topic, regarding that "coffee, tea or whatever I prefer" thing
>I got impatient
>are you free the next Saturday?
my heart's beating like crazy, but I've done way stupider shit to get laid, failed and I'm alive, worst thing that can happen is she'll say no, right? right?

 No.21243

File: 1636934407495.jpg (40.34 KB, 300x300, the expression.jpg)

>>21132
Update: still haven't asked her out, partially because she was off for a few days and also I'm still just really hesitant. I'm being explicitly told she's into me. Like she talks about me to my co-worker and apparently she thinks I "sound like the perfect guy" for her. But I just don't know how to really seal the deal. I started to break the ice a little bit but now I feel like it's stagnated and we don't really have anything to talk about. We're both aware of our mutual interest, but we're also both social retards. I know I should probably ask for her Snapchat or something first, but how the fuck do I go from observational small talk to asking for social media.

I feel myself starting to slide back into blackpill mode and it's fucking killing me. I feel like I'm losing a golden opportunity to redeem myself. Like I have this girl that's seriously into me, is super introverted and has never really had a bf, and is pretty good looking on top of it. It's like an incel's dream come true. But I STILL can't fucking navigate this.

 No.21244

>>21243
Just go get food on work break or something

 No.21245

>>21243
stop being a fag and man up, ask her for to get lunch sometime. This requires you to exchange numbers to set up and time and meeting place and all of that.

 No.21246

>>21243
just do it faggot

 No.21247

>>21245
But what I'm understanding is that she's extremely paranoid about guys, which is why she's never had an actual boyfriend. I just worry I'm going to jump the gun and freak her out if I haven't really seriously talked with her much before. But our opportunities to talk are so limited that it's hard to do much of anything.

And she still just seems very quiet. She got all red the other day when I made a joke and still asks how I am, but that's about it. My co-worker isn't lying or pranking me, she's older than us and has known both of us for a while. But I need to have something to work with.

 No.21251

>>21247
Try to find a mutual interest and talk about it with her. When the conversation ends, ask her out for coffee.

If that's not possible then try to take as much advantage of the small talk as possible, do a kinda gesture, get her some food, anything. Just create an initiative out of thin air, it's not going to magically fall on your lap.

Damnit, use the fact that you guys don't talk too much as an excuse to ask her out so you guys can get to know each other better.

>B-But what if it is too sudden


Anon, by the love of shit there's no way for this to happen 'without' it being sudden. Try to soften the blow the best you can if that's such an issue, making her comforted throughout the way. Be casual but concise.

If everything you told us about her interest on you is factual, then there is a near zero chance of it going to shit, unless you royally fuck it up (your fault) or she spaghetti's it completely (her fault).

I don't want to see you here again until you get of this stage. Otherwise you're just making excuses.

 No.21261

>>21251
Basically what he said, clerk girl anon. I have been working off way less information than you have and I still have done fucking anything. I'm not saying you're a pussy, but just fucking do it, even I could and the girl I've been posting about hasn't given me half the signals yours has.

 No.21278

File: 1637097035462.jpg (153.26 KB, 800x1017, IMG_20191224_201323.jpg)

>>21261
>>21251
Alright just a quick minor update: I was off today but i went to the store where we work just to pick up some stuff. She was in and actually stepped out from the office to do something as i was passing (in hindsight maybe she saw me coming?) and we exchanged a quick friendly greeting and carried on. But I did notice she wasn't wearing her mask anymore, so i guess she finally got her shot. This really puts me at ease because i've been so nervous she was going to leave in January over the mandate, since we have quite a few antivaxxers at this place. So now I don't feel as much pressure to rush things, and i can focus on building more of a rapport before asking her out. Like i said, we barely said anything to each other until like a week and a half ago, so I don't want to freak her out by forcing it. I'm not going to wait too long, of course, but i want to make her more comfortable with me and flirt a little bit.

Anyway, that's that, I'm not going to post here again until I ask her out one way or the other. Thanks for your guidance and encouragement so far, inshallah I will make this work.

 No.21289

File: 1637165799566.jpg (559.08 KB, 720x1018, iniszaru di zakopane.jpg)

Middle school girl anon here. After I asked her out Sunday, we had this exchange the day before yesterday:
<unfortunately I'm in (her uni town) :(
<and will only be coming back December
>damn, I forgot unis aren't all remote anymore
>okay, write me when you're going back and we'll set something up, good luck with that uni stuff you mentioned (got a heart reaction here)
<I will :D
To what degree is this a "no", anons? Have I already fucked up by coming on too hard? The sad faces and hearts are encouraging, ngl, but the indeterminate delay I set myself up for is worrying. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have handed the initiative to her like that. The guides on that other chan say to minimize online interactions and maximize real life ones, so continuing to write to her seems like a bad idea.
ultimately I think when the time comes I'll bother her ass until success or rejection

 No.21313

>>21289
Go visit her wherever she's going. Ask her to show you around.

 No.21417

File: 1637551881991.jpeg (85.28 KB, 487x750, EDVOOB7UEAgLDSo.jpeg)

>>21278
Yeah this isn't going to happen. She still seems very bland with me whenever I try to talk and doesn't seem that interested in extending the conversation. Maybe she's just that much of a social retard but i dunno. The co-worker that seemed so eager to set us up said she's trying to disengage because she doesn't want to "freak her out" so i'm taking all of this as a signal that this was a huge mistake. She was apparently into me for months but now that i'm talking i just get the vibe that she's lost interest. Maybe i'm wrong and overthinking things but I don't want to shit where i eat so I'm just going to let it go.

Stay blackpilled.

 No.21418

>>21417
Also thanks for all the advice and encouragement but I don't think it was meant to be. I feel fucking sick to my stomach over this but it's my fault for getting my hopes up. I should've known better. Maybe in five years i'll get to fuck some fat single mom but i'll probably kill myself before then.

 No.21431

>>21417
>>21418
>Annoy this thread for 2 weeks about being really close to asking a girl out
>never follows through with it and tucks tail like a pussy
>Stay blackpilled
Don't cut yourself on the edge here friend

 No.21432

>>21431
What do you want me to do? She's fucking giving me mixed signals and barely responds to anything I say, so yeah, I don't think I'm going to take the risk. If she says no, which frankly seems the most likely outcome, it's going to make working at this place hell. Fuck it. Despite everything she supposedly said, she still just seems standoffish. I wanted to build some familiarity first before I did anything but it's impossible. So yeah, sorry for wasting everyone's time, but it's not happening.

 No.21578

File: 1638109856697.jpg (22.17 KB, 500x375, ArinoDespair.jpg)

>>21431
>>21417
>>21278
>>21251
>>21261
>>21247
>>21245
>>21244
>>21243
Alright anons. After weeks of waiting for an opportunity and harassing all of you, I got over myself and shot my shot.

She said she was busy working and she doesn't really drink coffee and thanks for the offer. So there you go. As usual, when something seems too good to be true it usually is.

We were both cool about it. Ended with "See you tomorrow" but there you go. Wish my co-worker had just kept her fucking mouth shut to be honest. I don't understand how she could say all that shit and have it end up like this, but whatever! LOL Still feel like a complete retard

So for real this time, thanks for all your advice, but it simply wasn't meant to be.

 No.21589

Can somebody help me in understanding charisma? What is it? How can I be charismatic? And why are only extroverts attributed with being charismatic?

 No.21590

>>21578
Good job!

 No.21591

>>21578
You can't win'em all buddy. You tried in the end and failed, but hopefully you learned your lessons(whatever they may be) and go at it again in the near future

 No.21592

>>21591
I didn't learn shit. I was told all of these great things by my co-worker that this girl was so into me and outright said she thought I would be the perfect guy but she was so shy and blah blah blah. But then I try to make a move and get shot down anyway. So what the fuck. I feel like ibwas set up to be humiliated. I can deal with normal rejection but this who situation was fucking weird, i feel like shit

 No.21595

>>21592
I've known people to be overzealous at playing the matchmaker often but your situation is kind of extreme since you know the person they want to match you with for a longtime.

My friend tried to hook me up with a girl(I think) in a weird way in HS. He got my myspace password and sent her a message from me that said: "you're hot" to this girl he was friends with I didn't really know. At the time I was just embarassed and nothing came of it, but looking back she probably told him she thought I was cute or something and he was trying to play the matchmaker.

So maybe this woman so wanted to see you as a couple she lied or embellished what your crush said about you.

But if what she said was true maybe she is into you but it's her own paranoia/social retardation as you described it.

>>21247
>But what I'm understanding is that she's extremely paranoid about guys, which is why she's never had an actual boyfriend.

One time I was talking to this girl on online dating and then this first conversation she says:
>What are you doing right now? Want to come over and watch a movie?
<Ok sure, I'm just going to shower really quick
I come back a half hour later and text her. Ok I'm heading out.
>I'm getting sleepy can we take a raincheck

I hit this chick up a couple times over the course of a week asking if she wanted to go out and she was just acting retarded about it so I gave up.

So from:
> instant come back to my place off the first conversation
to
<flaky unreachable woman who's unavailable

So not to give you false hope, but maybe she is actually into you and it's her own psychological problems holding her back. You'll probably find out soon enough.

 No.21596

>>21595
Yeah I think more than anything i just caught her off guard. She might need time to digest all of this. And to be fair the co-worker did warn me that she might not want to go out and just start slow as friends. So since i still see her semi-regularly i'm just going to play it cool and be friendly. Even though she turned it down we did actually get a pretty good conversation flow going for once, so I think by now the ice is pretty well broken lol. Hopefully we can keep that momentum going and I'll have a friend. And who knows, maybe it'll blossom into something down the road.

 No.21605

File: 1638311147031.png (64.93 KB, 323x463, ClipboardImage.png)

>>21578
Welp, that's a F.

But take pride in knowing that you went for it, instead of pussying out like so many do.

 No.21641

File: 1638480057452.png (546.92 KB, 646x759, 97rtdtgl6d801.png)

>>21595
>So not to give you false hope, but maybe she is actually into you and it's her own psychological problems holding her back. You'll probably find out soon enough.
You were right. I saw her today and she actually came out specifically to talk to me, completely unprompted. She said she was sorry for the other day and said it's her. She told me "I love you, you're like my favorite person here" and that she really likes talking to me, she just "can't" right now. But she kept reiterating that she likes talking to me.

I don't know what the future holds but we're at least clear on where we stand right now. I think we're both just kind of socially retarded and it's best for us to start like this. Maybe it'll lead to something once she gets more comfortable with me, or maybe not. At least now the ice is more than broken and we can be kind of honest with each other.

Anyway, sorry for hijacking this thread for like a month now, but it helped me navigate this whole experience. I think now it's all in my hands and I can finally stop blogging here. Thanks for your patience and help, anons.

 No.21643

File: 1638496098329.jpg (35 KB, 400x400, ganbatte.jpg)

>>21641
Awesome, glad to hear it anon. I actually was waiting to find out how it went. Now I feel validated as a love guru as well.

I think it definitely sounds like it could be something there and that you're on the right path.

Ganbatte anon!

 No.21644

File: 1638497795890.png (364.96 KB, 1495x1200, ClipboardImage.png)

>>21641
Godspeed, you massive tard.

 No.21663

>>21641
See? I told you you had more of a chance than me and I was right.
Middle school girl anon here, i'm way more pessimistic now - the HS reunion date is now set and I'd definitely come off as desperate if I pressed for a meeting anytime soon. I think my first instinctive reaction was correct, and she just isn't seeing the situation that way. Also, someone, most likely the class rep, must have added her to the facebook group for the high school class, so I no longer have an excuse to talk to her when some info gets posted.
I didn't do what >>21313 said, but I did find something else to talk to her about, a school-affiliated charity fundraiser for retarded kids we were doing:
>Hey, we're raising money for gifts for retarded children, the teacher talked us into it, here's the account number if you want to pitch in
>Deadline is tomorrow, though
A week went by without the messages even getting read (not good, but a historical pattern with her, lol), so I reminded her of my existence:
>You still alive xD?
<Oh yeah XD
<Sorry (pensive emoji)
<As far as time management goes, I'm dead XD
>my condolences
>still, the last time around you were dead for months, so I see you've gotten better xD (this was supposed to be a jab at last year, when she left me on read for months)
<XDD
<Actually you're right
<:D
>Anyway, I'm not upset that you didn't pitch in xD
>I got long-lasting trauma towards the mentally disabled myself :D (heart emoji reaction from her)
<XDD
>You laugh, but I almost went to jail once because of them XDDDDD (this is a true story I like telling to people IRL I've also told it on chans)
>I don't recommend it
These last two messages were not read, it was like 10pm so I assumed she either went to sleep or continued doing whatever it is she does on Friday evenings
Yesterday morning I found out about the reunion date, so using the fact she didn't have access to the info yet, I asked her:
>the Xth okay with you or do you have some other exam on that day?
<XDD, it's okay with me (smiling emoji with hearts for eyes)
>huh? XDD?
<cause almost all the unis end classes by the Xth, I thought you were joking XDD
>…
>you still got the uniform? we don't generally wear it to our reunions, but she looks smoking hot in it
<yup (gave her a heart react)
>good
>see you, the capitalist is standing over my head with a whip (pensive emoji) ie. I'm supposed to be working
<ohhh, okay! [affectionate variant of "bye" turned into a noun with a diminutive added on top for extra verbal diabetes]
>thumbs up I accidentally sent an hour or two later when I unlocked my phone and my finger slipped on the back button
the amount of written laughter and affectionate language/emoji I get from her gives me the impression she's like that with everyone
also, the fact I always initiate contact, get replies late and write 90% of the convo is probably a no - she does have more shit to do than I, since I just work 7-3 and fuck off as opposed to doing two degrees at once, but there are limits to everything

tl;dr I should probably just rub one out and forget it instead of autistically hyperanalyzing messenger convos play-by-play on a communist basket weaver enthusiasts' forum, focus on other things in my life like not getting fired from my first job before my contract is up, getting back on track with my thesis and calisthenics or working towards my license and a used Japanese sport compact.

 No.21687

Have you ever left your number on a note to waitresses or is that just something in movies?

 No.21705

>>21641
>that image
Jesus Christ(chan) that's some old shit.

 No.21972

>>21663
Yesterday I asked her about her academics, since she mentioned that day in particular in relation to them, and we chatted a bit.
I explicitly urged her to wear the uniform too:
>oh yeah, one more thing before I leave you in peace, remember the uniform for the day after tomorrow
<seriously seriously?
>of course xD
>why else would I have asked you if you still had it?
<I mean, I know
<But I wanted to make sure if that's still a thing
<Cause sometimes traditions die
It is not, in fact, a thing anymore, lol. I essentially selfishly tricked a woman into wearing stuff I find hot just because I want to see her in it, and damn, does it feel good to be an asshole, pic related. But hey, I never said everyone was doing it, that was her own interpretation.
I really hope we're the only two wearing it, it would be incredibly ironic, because the day we met we both got detention for breaking dress code
Class meet is tomorrow, will report.(xD)

 No.21976

>>21641
blessed image

 No.21982

>>21972
did a mod make that XD
wtf mods stop creepin(👀)

 No.22009

im so scared bros
how are we supposed to improve our social skills when they are watching over us

is this part of the test? act cool everyone

 No.22012

>>21982
>>22009
Mods, **smrods*. I don't get how exactly I was being "cancer on /hobby/", but whatever.

Anyway, fuck it all. After the meet yesterday, I declare the middle school girl saga officially over. I really had been reading into the situation too much, and as an undersocialized alienated individual I was just latching onto anything that looked like female attention. First thing of all, she claimed she'd lost her uniform necktie. To that excuse, I provided a solution, a spare one I had lying around, which in the end she refused to wear. Second, she seemed to rather pointedly ignore me - no hi/bye hugs, not paying attention when I was exchanging stories to people around the table, providing curt answers to open questions, pretty obviously being attracted to a different guy too, flipping her hair and everything. Oh yeah, I also fucked up majorly pretty much the moment we started talking, I actually started stammering when she asked me why I had questions for her and I might have blushed.
I still had fun at the reunion, so I don't regret going, but I am angry at myself for having nursed a crush this hopeless and stupid for over a month. When I came home, I just threw the spare necktie down in frustration. I then opened up the bottle of whiskey my friends had gotten me for my birthday and got into a theological and philosophical argument with a different childhood friend from school. She ended up trying to convert me to her crazy brand of Catholicism, think "learn ecclesiastical Latin to own the modernist heretics" crazy. I, a leftypol anon, argued in favor of materialism, of course. 10/10, would argue again. I haven't slept at all, but work today is light and only half a shift long. Not sure how I'm gonna make it until the family Christmas Eve dinner is over, though. Enough coffee to give myself a couple of ulcers, I guess.

 No.22018

>>22012
Live in learn, friend

 No.22019

>>22018
My thoughts exactly, anon. At least I can say that once in my life I asked out the girl I liked. When I was walking home in the cold, I had one of these Disco Elysium-esque moments where a "skill" in my head told me in a soft, deep voice:
>You'll get up from this. As you always have.
I think that would have been a Volition moment in the game.

 No.22025

File: 1640376494212.png (831.83 KB, 1200x800, ClipboardImage.png)

>>22012
>One cannot advance without mistakes… It is necessary to make mistakes.
At least you got a disclosure out of this.

 No.22027

Oh yeah, one more thing I've noticed: this stuff hurts less with age. At my most hormonal as a teenager, jealousy physically felt like freezing down to your bones and being on fire at the same time. Now I just tensed up and maybe whitened my knuckles a little,

 No.22121

File: 1640908228375.webm (3.34 MB, 1280x720, NEVAH GIVE UP.webm)

>>21641
>>21643
>>21644
Hey I doubt most of you care but I just thought I'd give some update on this whole saga, not because I think anyone cares about my life but because it might serve as kind of a whitepill for some:

So after a couple of weeks of continuing to make small talk, I happened to mention that I had watched the new Spider-Man movie. Turns out she loves Spider-Man and had also seen it. A week or so later, she tells me she had already rewatched the movie, and tells me she wouldn't mind watching it again with me. So we exchanged snaps and ended up going to the theater together. We got to chat a bit and had a good time. Not sure I can really call it a proper date, but it's a start. She's just super anxious and it's going to take a while, but I'm willing to wait.

It feels like it's been ages since this whole ordeal started but it's only been two months, and we've both come a long way in that time. In one month we've gone from me being shot down to *her* asking *me* out to a movie. Hopefully things continue to get better and who knows where it'll go. So the big takeaway for all my fellow autismos is this: you never know what's going through other people's heads. It's good to make connections with whoever you can, because if my co-worker had never said anything to me, I would've continued to assume this girl was just another hot blonde that was indifferent to me. It's okay to fuck up along the way because it's not the end of the world.

 No.22124

>>22121
No offense, but you and especially her are pathetic beyond belief. Not only is she a complete fucking autist, but you pursue her like she is the only girl in the world making you even more of a retard. But the best thing is yet to come:

>So the big takeaway for all my fellow autismos is this: you never know what's going through other people's heads. It's good to make connections with whoever you can, because if my co-worker had never said anything to me, I would've continued to assume this girl was just another hot blonde that was indifferent to me. It's okay to fuck up along the way because it's not the end of the world


Had to laugh there really, because you were really waddling in self pity after being potentially shut down by her after needing a lot of convincing to ask her out in the first place. I mean…you really are something. Then you write this self-motivation crap thinking that anybody with some self-respect cares about what you sperg have to say in terms of connecting with people. My guess is that she is throwing an autistic fit again in a couple of weeks and she will dump you again, while you will come here giving us an "update" that nobody asked for.

I really mean it, when I say that you should take no offense by my "rant". You apparently made some progress, but what struck me with you the first time you posted, is that you need a lot validation from others. That's why you ask some weirdos on a leftist imageboard for advice and that's why you simp for a weirdo bitch. Don't kys please, but don't think that anybody gives a shit about your "NEVA GIVE UP" words of wisdom.

 No.22127

>>22124
Wow, that's harsh. Still, you yourself admit they're both pathetic, so I'd say they're a good match.

 No.22129

>>22127
>Wow, that's harsh
I know. But this is needed sometimes
>Still, you yourself admit they're both pathetic, so I'd say they're a good match
Idk if two pathetic people make a good match, just like two people with a big ego don't make a good match

 No.22148

>>22124
Yeah wow sorry, just thought since most people on this shithole site are retards like me they might be happy to see that something worked out for someone and it might motivate them. And I didn't even pursue her, I just kept going about my business until she asked me. I talked to her like i talk to any fucking person i see regularly at work.

What are you, some bitter incel? What was the point of this? You're just a nasty contrarian that has to shit on people because you're envious that no one in your personal life likes you enough to even smile at you. Fuck you, cocksucker.

 No.22409

>>22124
>while you will come here giving us an "update" that nobody asked for.

>>22148
hello can you pls post some updates from time to time? thx


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