Neo-Job Finding Be like:
>High-Grandeur Doctorate Schaeffer Degree in Fancy-Schmancy
>5 years of experience in a similar field (optional, even though its not XD)
>Certificate of courses in Fancy-Schmancy levels AC30 (minimum)
>English certificates (even if you're proficient, cough up money for courses, useless lessons and taking tests for least a few months of your life)
>Driver's license (ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY)
>CV/portfolio
>Dicksucking loyalty to customers (you MVST be VERY SOCIAL AND LOVE ZE CUSTOMERS)
>Handling finances, personal information, anything that can get you sued for slight misconduct (YOU MVST BE GOOD AT QUICK MATHS)
>Computer proficiency (Expert at word, excel, foxit, WPS office, Abaqus FEA Software, Google Ads и Meta Ads Manager and all these awful program things with awful interfaces)
>Ability to stand and bend and crouch 12 hours (NO SITTING ALLOWED!)
>Flexible time (whenever you can have the bravery to BEG the manager for a DAY OFF so they can SIGH at you and treat you like THE FILTHY TRASH YOU ARE, LITTLE WAGIE, YOU MVST BE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR COWORKERS WHO WILL HAVE TO WORK HARDER BECAUSE OF YOU, THINK ABOUT THE SHIFT SOMEONE ELSE WILL HAVE TO TAKE!)
>Able to take responsibility for projects worked under set deadlines and copes well working with short time frames;
>CV/portfolio
>Teambuilding events, be prepared to meet your dandruff coworkers off work
>Motivation to achieve high results, a shining bright personality and professional appearance
>Ability to remain calm and composed even in high-pressure environments.
>Meet all attendance and punctuality guidelines required of the position and adhere to regulatory, Departmental, and Company policies.
>All documents must be submitted, including health certificate and blambujambu something you don't even know what it means through this email that will collect your personal info for advertisers and be leaked
>Online interview, required registration for jambugambu software, phone verification, copy of documents
>CV/portfolio
>>1053Good job doing all that, too bad an algorithm filtered out your application (before it ever saw human eyes) because your last name starts with the letter J.
Oh, you got past the algorithm somehow? That's cute, the HR manager got bad vibes.
Survived the vibes? Time for 5 interviews in a row.
Just kidding, the job was never real, they were just pretending to be hiring to get tax cuts.