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 No.540052[View All]

Ken is the man that we all need.
Ken is the man that we all need,
Ken is the leader of the GLC.
Who is the man we all need?
KEN!
Who is the funky sex machine?
KEN!
Who is the leader of the GLC?
KEN!
559 posts and 128 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.540612

>>540588 is it charter time

 No.540613

>>540600
>”You know nothing, John Snow.”
t. Leninhat probably.

 No.540614

>>540597
This man is a flip-flopping clown. Like in the grand scheme of things, it's his constant-

>Do this

<But actually don't
>But you better had
<But you can choose not to
>It'll benefit everybody
<But we must respect your choice not to

-that has royally pissed me off throughout this entire pandemic. Pick one or the other, you disingenuous dog turd.

 No.540615

>>540612
AlwaysHasBeen.jpg

 No.540616

File: 1645485892754.png (1.9 MB, 768x1024, ClipboardImage.png)

>>540608
Your queen mum is going to die soon and their is nothing you can do about it. Cry more.

 No.540617

How do we save her lads? Is there someplace I can donate my blood or organs?

 No.540618


 No.540619

>>540618
Sounds shit. The people will love it.

 No.540620

File: 1645493466343.jpg (137.21 KB, 850x976, 1645493440651.jpg)

>>540618
>incel technology
Well this thread ought to be excited.

 No.540621

File: 1645500567637.png (335.17 KB, 1287x881, tired_alunya_.png)

>>540614
The whole decision is sooooo fucking stupid and 90% sure that it's to cover partygate either to A: divert attention or B: make it so that it looks like he didn't break regulations because currently there are no regulations. You might think how the fuck does B work, it doesn't work retroactively, but remember; Tory Voters do not have functioning brains.

Also it makes no real fucking sense to scrap COVID isolation periods, masks sure I can see that eventually even if rn in the UK is not the time but isolation periods are normal and were so long before COVID, such as with Measles, Polio, cholera etc, all have a legal isolation period, so even if COVID is normalized then isolation periods would still exist under current UK medical law. AKA the whole 'living with COVID' line is such BS since if it were normalized and treated like a common serious disease IT WOULD STILL HAVE AN ISOLATION PERIOD. It's just incredibly obvious what the real intention is and reading the BBC try and read it at face value is surreal comedy

 No.540622

>>540618
>we will overhaul the prison regime by making more prisons

 No.540623

File: 1645507440288.jpg (58.6 KB, 512x512, 767hty.jpg)

>>540618
>>540620
>Abstinence based incel technology

 No.540624

>>540622
this is basically what libs are doing right now in a lot of countries. packaging an expansion of the carceral state as progressive "reforms"

 No.540625

File: 1645543370715.jpg (64.44 KB, 726x505, FMKehMIWQAA2hYc.jpg)


 No.540626

>>540621
I honestly thought Boris might go with how much fuss was made of partygate but it looks like he's going to survive after all, what a shitshow.

 No.540627

>>540625
lmao where did you find this

 No.540628


 No.540629

>>540616
>American once again showing himself to be absolutely ignorant to world affairs
The Queen mum is already dead you absolute fucking gormlet. cry more+1, cope, seeth, dilate etc etc etc etc etc.
>>540617
Ii'd donate my blood to the kween tbh. I may or may not have a BBV

 No.540630

File: 1645568345506.png (46.39 KB, 594x336, ClipboardImage.png)

Keirdolf Starmler weighs in

 No.540631

>>540626
Partygate is the ultimate sign to even liberals that the conservatives have no standards. I know it, you know it, but for some reason liberals like to think the Conservatives are NOT utter wastes of flesh. OK, look at partygate, look at half the backbenchers asking Boris to resign, look at his own party SEEMINGLY ready to throw him under the bus. Then contrast that to the estimated number of letters sent to the 1992 committee; which is estimated to be about 20-30 of the 50 they need(out of 300 members total). What that means is that on camera they'll acted outraged but when it comes down to brass tacks they won't force Boris out, especially with the letters being anonymous, if they get called on their bluff they can just say "I'm one of the 20 that sent a letter in" and you can't disprove it.

But of course nothing will come of it, Starmer will forget about this in a month along with all the other liberals and instead go after surface value stuff like I dunno not wearing a dark coloured tie in the face of the Queen's health.

God I fucking hate this country and its shallow politics, it makes American politics look fucking functional in comparison.

 No.540632

>>540631
Partygate is the ultimate sign the bosses of Johnson's allies in the press have grown weary of him and want him replaced but need something that isn't rampant financial corruption so that they can continue with it when he's gone.

 No.540633

>>540632
Meh, that will be gone in a week too. They got their clicks, their attention grabs. I'm really surprised Boris's allies are actually protecting him this much, since what they want is to stay in power; they don't owe Boris any loyality, he was their race horse, he won, now he's lame and he's due for the glue factory, they can easily get a more popular candidate but instead they're backing Boris. I'll never understand why power hungry cut-throats grow sentimental over their cronies randomely when 90% of the time they'll happily backstab each other if it means staying ahead.

 No.540634

>>540633
>Meh, that will be gone in a week too.
This shit has been going on for months mate, it came out before NYE. Nobody cares about the plundering by contract and instead the most you get about corruption is whining about muh Russian donations because:
A) The Tories want their replacement to do it
B) The media bosses are in on it
C) Labour want their turn at the trough
> they can easily get a more popular candidate but instead they're backing Boris. I'll never understand why power hungry cut-throats grow sentimental over their cronies
Well there's two aspects. First of all the higher ups on the parliament side of thing don't want to get rid of him or they may face demotion or worse irrelevance, and secondly the 1922 committee and backroom guys don't want to get rid of him just yet because there's more shit sandwich left with things like cost of living and inflation and they don't want the replacement to have to eat it.

 No.540635

>>540634
And what has the months of attention gotten Boris? A couple stern talking to's? Had to organize an investigation into himself and then promptly censor? This is the equivilent of the Trump Hollywood expose tape; everyone keeps saying it'll be the end but because nobody does anything it amounts to nothing. Inherent slactivism. Remember, Boris back in Fall 2019 was found to be in high contempt of the government and technically high treason unanimously by the Supreme Court for dismissing Parliament right before they voted down his Brexit bill. And what was the result? Nothing. He didn't even have to reconvene Parliament. The entire punishment system in the UK relies on precedent and "ought to"s, and it all falls apart when not everyone follows the rules like a proper chap, AKA every single living British politician is not a proper chap.

I still can't believe they try and paint the government as chaps, only Americans fall for that shit because they're enamoured by the upper class accents and think it means they're polite.

 No.540636

>>540635
Nothing happens because the UK is a meme country, it's a joke even for a liberal democracy. Everything is run by a group of elites so small yet dominant that there's not even much bourgeois infighting. These people doing the reporting on malfeasance are friends with the people they're reporting on and go to the same dinner parties, they have regularly worked together, they are all in the same Westminster clique.
Literally the only method of recall is a scheduled election every four years, and the only other way to get rid of them is if their polling drops low enough and it's politically convenient for their party to remove them, which is an internal party thing and not any actual accountability.

 No.540637

>>540635
>I still can't believe they try and paint the government as chaps, only Americans fall for that shit because they're enamoured by the upper class accents and think it means they're polite.
Burger here. Nobody thinks brits are polite. Just, snobby, cowardly, and passive agressive. I'd still love to beat the brakes off some prim bong pussy. Make her say "daddy" with perfect elocution.

 No.540638

>>540631
tbh i respect it. the proof there's no standards is in the mountain of corpses, the proof we're an insane nation is that a man being a hypocrite is considered worse than his command responsibility for that mountain.

the thing about the ones sending in letters is that, in their own way, they were mostly fucking idiots. they looked at bad polling and got spooked and so started to break with party unity, even though a united party can do whatever it wants - but a bunch of the complainers were new MPs who thought they might lose their new job. they didn't mind the deaths because it was no problem for them, but they were afraid they'd lose their nice job, so they panicked and in the process actually made it more likely they will lose their job by prolonging the bad polling and providing fodder to keep the story going. a complete lack of principle or humanity i can understand, but i draw the line at their stupidity in achieving that goal.

it's precisely >>540632 although i'd throw in that nobody wants the blood on their hands for being asked why they didn't do the simple task of looking at what the per-capita death rate here versus in NZ is, and every day demand to know why we'd bungled it rather than just imagining we must be doing a good job because we're Britain after all. so the press couldn't use the failed response to get him (if anything they'd rather fuck up the response more by demanding everyone gets back to the office and coughs on one another), but hypocrisy is fine. that's a personal folly with no risk of causing major structural change.

the lodestone of my madness is, of course, an underlying desire to see Johnson beat Starmer as badly as he beat Corbyn. If he can't pull that off, let second best be Liz Truss doing it, after denying that there's any reason the Conservatives can't take Wellington Central

>>540635
tbh i respect his energy in hindsight. with little to salvage here, pissing over national institutions is funny and telling a bunch of your own MPs to fuck off as a minority government is an outright chad move.
although there's certainly a bitterness that the press, who now decry his unfitness for office, were so glad to help put him in office despite his actions because the alternative was one of the few people in British politics who shouldn't be deported to Pitcairn island.

 No.540639

File: 1645591148862.jpg (41.52 KB, 550x462, NY1.jpg)

>>540638
There's no reason to respect him more just because he's open about being an asshole, and a cut-throat above the rest. I hate this trend of the past 5 years or so of leftists prefering open kleptocrats, fascists etc over socdems or liberals, not because I think the latter are better but because being honest over your shitty character is not a redeeming quality, especially when somehow they poll better as a result along the lines of "All politicians are lying assholes, so I prefer this truthful asshole". I'm fairly sure that's how we ended up with Boris in the first place, since he somehow won more seats than May during the snap election and there's not a single person I can find that voted for him because they thought he was better, it was due to that he was a clown and was more honest.

I actually am starting to miss when they pretended to give a damn cause I deluded myself into thinking that if they were ever bareface about their true intentions nobody would vote for them again, and now I'm horribly aware of not only is that the case but that's now an appealing aspect, proving to me just how fucking out of touch the general population is that they applaud being up front about how they are going to further ruin the already toppled system. It's not even accelerationism if there's isn't a bottom line to trigger the mass reaction, so to me it's utterly useless and did I mention it makes me miss liberals? I hate liberals, so I hate this new standard if only for making me miss the libs and driving me so far fucking down the line.
>>540637
>Burger here. Nobody thinks brits are polite
Utter lie, you americans consume more british culture than the british, every monarch event is watched by more Americans than everyone else combined, you have an utter fascination with the monarchy because in a way you aspire for it either because of the opulence and the weird thought process of that you're all temporarily impoverished bourg, or because you want an absolute monarchy out of your broken excuse of a democracy and secretly hope for some form of dictatorship or god-led JESUSSSSSSSSSSSS manifest destiny-esque right-to-lead-given-straight-from-god centralized authoritarian figure.

 No.540640

File: 1645591638578.png (1.02 MB, 1855x873, ClipboardImage.png)

>>540639
>Utter lie, you americans consume more british culture than the british
Not really. Brit shows hitting here has been a last decade kind of thing and only a handful.
>you have an utter fascination with the monarchy because in a way you aspire for it either because of the opulence and the weird thought process of that you're all temporarily impoverished bourg, or because you want an absolute monarchy out of your broken excuse of a democracy and secretly hope for some form of dictatorship or god-led JESUSSSSSSSSSSSS manifest destiny-esque right-to-lead-given-straight-from-god centralized authoritarian figure.
Lol. How deep you're going with this. It's only women who give one flying fuck about that and the reason is getting pampered and worshiped for doing nothing is the ultimate female fantasy.

 No.540641

>>540638
Yea, everyone is viciously blaming Boris because they know deep down they were the ones who put him on top to beat Corbyn in the first place. Everyone will blame anyone but themselves.

 No.540642

>>540639
You've got to look at it from a different angle even if it gets the same result: Johnson beating Corbyn was a tragedy, Johnson beating Starmer is a comedy. Johnson's most appealing character trait is not ruthlessness, but idiocy. Not the idiocy of the contrived Boris persona, but the idiocy of being there just to sit in the big chair. The appeal of "telling it like it is" is embarrassing, the appeal of "an honest crook" the same - the honesty enables the crookery, "i disavow it, but nevertheless i do it" and all that, but there is the appeal of watching liberals sputtering impotently as they realize they've as little control over the monster they've created as we do, the appeal of watching them reminded every day that they do not live in the (fake) Britain of the 2012 Olympic opening ceremony, but the very real Britain, the birthplace of capitalism and, one suspects, of human misery itself. Their encounter with such horrors should be enjoyed rather than cried at. Liberals didn't cry when Corbyn was monstered, they were perfectly happy to play along with a press smear campaign against him, to encourage it and drive it forward - why cry when the monster-machine turns on them too? (This, an attitude which should be suppressed when confronted with fascism can be indulged when confronted with simple kleptocracy - what's the worst that happens, we turn into Japan with damper countryside? Hell, if we could have their corruption at least we'd have some infrastructure…)

You might be tempted to miss liberals, and anyone confronted with Charles Kennedy's corpse might find that a tempting road to go down, but never forget that today's "liberals" (now including Labour) will say awful things that the Tories still try to triangulate away from - it's not Johnson saying, unprompted, that we should shoot to kill. It's not Johnson doing telegraph articles about how he regrets his party supporting gay rights in the 1980s and stands with JK Rowling as a fellow TERF nowadays. That's Blair and people with brainworms derived from Blair. Blair, the man who did more than any other to hole this shithole beneath the waterline. In the absence of building a better world, we can at least laugh at those who destroyed the old one repeatedly having their dicks slammed in a car door. If you want to know why Britain needs to have a kleptocratic party-clown as a premier, it's as penance for Blair. The political and media class had a choice - disavow Blair or take the cunt, and they took the cunt. Well, just as false advertising laws don't apply to politics, neither does the right to return a defective item to the seller.

If this kind of schadenfreude and bitterness strikes you as profoundly unappealing, my sincere advice is the Jim Callaghan option: Sometimes when I go to bed at night, I think that if I were a young man I would emigrate. But when I wake up in the morning, I remember that I'm not the aged Jim Callaghan so I should probably pick a place to go.

 No.540643

>>540639
No you're a complete MORON, it is good to have trump figures because it gets normal people talking about politics
>>540642
It's slightly comedic how pathetic Corbyn was though

 No.540644

>>540637
I love how this post is supposed to cut to the hard truth when you seem to think that like 5% of british people constitutes the whole population. Do you realise how rare people who sound like that are?

 No.540645

>>540644
Well we were talking about American opinions of Posh Brits with fancy accents.

>>540635
>I still can't believe they try and paint the government as chaps, only Americans fall for that shit because they're enamoured by the upper class accents and think it means they're polite.

 No.540646

>>540645
That's not what you said though is it, you fucking fat faggot

 No.540647

>>540643
Johnson is only superficially Trump like. Where Trump was actually largely outside the US political class, Johnson has been an insider for longer than 70% of this thread has been alive.

I don't find much amusing in Corbyn being 'pathetic' tbh. Not so much out of sympathy for him as because of comedic structure. He just doesn't give you much to work with. Where he falls short, it meets expectations rather than matching them, which is only really funny as anti-humour. (Itself requiring you to expect that there'll be humour, but you're looking for a third degree of humour in the Labour party at that stage, which is surely grounds for being sectioned.) And he lacks the unsympathetic personality traits that would make just watching him step on a rake over and over comedy gold.
Most of the funny consequences of his weak position arise from other people clowning around it, such as the time the party sued itself to try and stop him being on the ballot in 2016 and lost.

At gunpoint, I suppose the funniest you could do would be to structure the story as though it's going to be one of those optimistic underdog things, an Obama-versus-Clinton situation, spending 85% of the story playing up hope only to then obliterate it at the end with the "realistic" outcome of the forces of all that's wrong with the world winning and building their corpse mountain. All very Stanley's Cup, and feeling just as dated. (And I'd want final cut so I could expunge the FPBE dickheads. If I can't do that, pull the trigger now.)

 No.540648

>>540647
You said it was tragedy that Corbyn lost, but I find it hard to feel much sympathy for someone who sells out his friends for no political gain. Maybe you could say it's tragic for us, but we all know that Corbyn wouldn't have been able to get anything done if he did take power. Stop feeling personally sorry for the old todger

 No.540649

>>540648
can't think of anyone who was "really" sold out, and even if he did [essay about how we like unsympathetic characters when they're up against even less sympathetic ones, up to a certain line, which Blair and other wankers cross, at which point the conventions of narrative break down and you just want everyone involved to be waterboarded has redacted, but this note added to continue the theme of writing about the conventions of fiction, because british electoral politics is fiction with bad writers.]

 No.540650

>>540649
I guess you've memory holed the entire antisemitism scandal. Oh well, enjoy living in your little fantasy.

 No.540651

>>540650
less memory holing, more only really remembering ken livingstone and not particularly blaming Corbyn for not sacrificing himself to defend a consummate professional politician who'd already given up elected office from their own bad interview.
(okay, i vaguely remember some other bullshit about who got to sit in LOTO or whatever, but frankly i don't care. no fun stories there.)

 No.540652

>>540651
Well, it was far more than him, although one case alone of stabbing an ally in the back to please unpleasable ghouls would be enough.

 No.540653

Alright, FINALLY. Time to start a new one please.

 No.540654

>>540637
>Make her say "daddy" with perfect elocution.
<Not wanting her to say it in a Brummie accent
Coward

 No.540655

>>540640
>Headline on the left
<Nab gas legs and fingers amputated after eating lefrover noodles and suffering organ failure
How in the name of fuck does that happen, how long were those noodles left out for?

 No.540656

File: 1645622330633.png (484.3 KB, 840x1058, ClipboardImage.png)

>>540630
>Russia should be excluded form mech like SWIFT

 No.540657

>>540637
>burger here
<*dumps schizo misogynistic ramblings*
pottery

 No.540658

>>540642
It's only comedic if there's a punchline, but as it stands Boris is proving that the punchline only works if people fall for it, but either he's underestimated exactly how far gone the populace is or he is the best judge of character in the world. Actually I think it might just be that he's a good con artist, he did start his career by writing completely false EU tabloid articles for the Telegraph and started the whole "The EU regulates your cereal" trend. But either way it all relies on there coming a point where it slams home, there's a payoff and everyone realizes that moment. But as it stands that's just not how it's working, it's just going further and further and further and I don't think it's ever gonna stop. You could get to literaly dystopia levels(implying it's not already, why do you think stuff like 1984 and V for Vandetta are set here?) and people would still nod their heads or be just generally upset at the way things are.

And funnily I don't think that's Boris's fault, it's the population and the overarching culture that's been developed since I think about WW2. See in most politics it always comes down to one issue for 90% of voters. In the US it's taxes, NI it's unionist/seperatist sentiments etc. But the England is unique in that they vote for the status quo. That sounds normal though right, modern neo-liberalism is basically that improving things is radicalism? But the English as a whole take it to a new level, it's an almost religious obsession with the status quo. It cannot be changed, it is entrenched, the leaders know what they're doing, have to preserve the history etc. It's kind of an analogue to the US's obsession with that every word their founding fathers spoke was straight from the mouth of god and should never be changed, but if it had matured for another 500 or so years. I can actually probably name exactly what caused it and who; Churchill and the keep calm and carry on campaign. At that time it imbedded that the populace should just carry on and trust that everything is going to be alright, and Churchill is the personification of that mentality. If Churchill was such a good leader why did he lose the general election immediately after the war ended? Shush don't talk about that he won the war or something.

But at every level I see this obsession with the status quo. What was Brexit about? It was about keeping english traditions, the british empire, anti-continent sentiments and a pervasive sense that the EU is going to change things like how fish and chips are wrapped. What has COVID been about in English politics? Saving people? The economy? The duty of care owed by the politicians? No, it was about how will this inconvenience you when you try to go to the pub. Generally speaking most populations today don't want things to change, they want the small comforts they're afforded and to keep it, it's basically the definition of lumpen. But with the English it's zealous how they will throw themselves on a fire to preserve weirdly minute cultural details and small comforts they've been afforded. And the definition of status quo in England is weird too, as it cannot be changed… unless it's by a Tory, then that becomes the new status quo and THAT must be protected. It's hypocritical and again, almost every country does the same thing to a lesser degree, but here it's been honed to a fucking art. It might just be because the UK is ahead of the curve in terms of its decline and now has weapons-grade nostalgia that has been utilized for politics. I dunno, an American saying they want the good old days back or rebuild america or whatever doesn't have the same… energy in it as an Englishman that thinks preserving minute cultural traditions will bring back the British Empire. And all that's just to have some mental gymnastics to justify Boris as a conservative, AKA he's a CONSERVEative, he will CONSERVE the status quo and he will change it for the worse, which is good since the status quo is the opposite of progress, so regression is good and still in line with the status quo. Which is why there will never be a gotcha moment with Boris.

 No.540659

File: 1645688773196.png (114.24 KB, 2008x1124, FMTXhziX0AEXUbe.png)


 No.540660

>>540595
I'm going to cry into my novelty queen mug. Honestly I think that american WASPs will care more than anyone I've ever met in the UK

 No.540661

>>805287
>>805287
>>805287
>>805287
>>805287
>>805287
>>805287
>>805287
all in here


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