>>728235that 'fear of backlash' point about people dismissing the problem because there are bigger issues affects so many issues in society. like yeah, obviously women and nonbinary and trans people face many more difficulties under a patriarchy, but patriarchy is bad for men as well and we literally need to convince as many men as possible to abandon it to ever have a hope of destroying it. it often seems like even leftist feminists, otherwise completely reasonable people, have this fantasy of patriarchy being destroyed entirely by yass kween slay girlboss energy, entirely from the outside, keeping all men, even those interested in feminist theory, outside of some in group of 'true revolutionaries' - which can obviously only be other yass kween slay girlbosses. i've had disastrous interactions where my intent was to be vulnerable and share my own difficulties and seek some kind of camraderie, but anything, literally anything from a male perspective is labelled 'incel misogynist bs'. its an untenable situation that will not resolve gender oppression effectively. we need to develop concrete objectives for men to help undo the patriarchy, rather than simply telling them to 'work on themselves' and 'be better', sentiments which echo patriarchical notions of what a 'real man' is supposed to be - individual, never seeking help or support, a purely emotionless machine intellect.