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>Catholicism
>Calvanism
>Mormonism
>Seventh Day Adventism
>Baptism
>Jehova's witness
>Christian science
>Quakerism
>Mennonite/Amish
>Advent christian church
>Pentecostalism

I mean they're all cucked in a way but these ones take the cake for the most cartoonpilled

Mormonism is literally polytheism
Baptists are the most based, they did the first communist revolution known as the munster rebellion

>>727777
Maybe they used to be based but the modern ones are the ones who wear cowboy hats and get drunk trying to pray the gay away

>>727778
That's southern baptists. The white Americans ones are particularly reactionary.

>>727777
Nice quadzz
Checked

I was raises by Jehovah's Witnesses. Say what you want to, they're pretty bad, but they taught me not to be a patriot and not to trust capitalism at a very young age, which can't be said about any of these other branches.
They're also riding the line of being a cult, but they're way better than the southern baptists and church of Christ mothafuckers around here.
We have Catholics too, but all the ones down here are monied. Nice, but very suspicious.

>>727810

I personally know the head of the European Jehovah's Witness and he's alright. Very friendly, easy going guy.

>>727775
The bleak fatalism of calvinism speaks to me even if it isn't very healthy.
Everyone is enslaved to sin, god has already chosen who is going to heaven and you can't do anything to change his mind, Jesus only died for the sins of those who're going to heaven, and two points basically repeating this again.

It's not fair to say the Amish are cucked. That their way of life has endured while most other organized faiths and even subcultures have imploded speaks to their resilience if nothing else.

>>727812
>Very friendly, easy going guy.
They generally are, they want to be perceived as meek and kind, but the true believers usually are pretty sweet folks. Not unlike other christians I've grown up around, except witnesses are deeply anti racist which puts them at odds with the baptists that run shit here.

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>>727812
>and he's alright. Very friendly, easy going guy.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahaha

>>727775
>they're all cucked
I have seen "cucked" been used with so many different meanings here lately that I have no idea what you mean.

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>>727816
? do you know him as well, or

>>727817
It usually means that OP doesn't fuck, like at all

believing that another group of people are a superior race chosen by god is inherently cucked. all christcels are cucks

>>727821
>another group of people are a superior race chosen by god
But that does not apply out of some very modern type of dispensationalist sects. Which invalidates most of the OP's list.

Catholicism is great because it serves as an apex predator of even worse Christian sects.

>>727823
Contains truth.

Presbyterians are pretty based, so are methodists.

>>727775
IDK, American evangelicals most be the most cucked simping so much for Israel. There is a side to Protestantism I dislike (the more rabid, low church sort), albeit I also find also Catholicism to have annoying aspects as well.
Orthodox Christianity is among the least abrasive on a secular front and secular meaning politics (albeit Orthobros will still complain about Enlightened Absolutism and Peter the Great to me). That is probably cucked to /leftypol/, but I am speaking as a monarkiddie and not an anarkiddie.
If I had to compliment Protestantism, I do like that how Protestants double down on the masculinity of the Old Testament in contrast to how Catholics double down on the feminine character (stressing Mary and Baby Jesus). I also think Catholics focus on the decorum way too much. –Leftists tend to prefer Catholicism for its top-down organization and cosmopolitanism, but then again Protestantism did stress the lay people more (tbh despite being a monarkiddie I have never really liked elitism -that- much).
If I had to compliment Catholicism, I think Catholics are warranted for how they receive the Eucharist and unity behind the Church (which, if I were to throw my hat into the ring, I think it worth keeping over all the denominational squabbles). There is also Catholic Social Teaching, but I'm not really too woo'd by it (and it is but a band-aid for certain ultra-clerical partiality against the State and no substitute for the legitimate place of Politics).
I see the appeal of Catholicism for people who are more laid back and artsy and think Protestants are petty over every little issue and decoration, but I also understand why Protestants would throw a tantrum like that over Catholics and decorations if they are just obsessed with decorations like goldfish liking shiny things (I feel the same resentment towards ceremonial monarchists as if they'd take the decorum over having an actual king and their insistence upon everything else and every intermediary (muh nobles) in focus except for the monarch himself which kinda annoys me). –Those aspects I particularly find annoying about Catholicism (besides the obvious sparring with monarchies and high church contempt for politics).
You would think for my absolutist tendencies I would find more common ground with Catholicism. It's not that I have trouble with the idea of the Pope in principle if we only regard it among the bishops (like Papal Infallibility or Papal Primacy) – even if being Pope is like the first ambitious prime minister in regard to Christ the King – yet for all that the Catholic traditionalists don't find common ground with me either, and spurn me for something something decentralization and muh nobles (even though on paper this is the same exact issue Traditional Catholics are guilty of with regard to the Orthodox Bishops and something something decentralization and muh bishops).

I don't even care for fuss about idolatry and stopped taking it seriously as a dispute among Christians.

I'm personally convinced that the denomination in question for most people is not seriously about doctrine but another instance of the pettiness of people and their tendency to delve into the ill-received mythos of the war of all against all. It is no different than a subculture or fanclub with fanboyism and the violent urge in mankind to pit against each other like sports teams. Petty taste in how much or how less decorations they want around their clubhouse and the denomination question is really about lifestylism.


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