Sometimes i like to urinate on the floors before guests come, and then when they do come and see the absolutely fermented pool of yellow water on my living room i'd act all exasperated, blame my cat and yell at her. It brings me no small amount of exhibitionist joy knowing that my guests will sit with their best "don't make this awkward" smile while i wipe human urine right in front of them
I'm OP and I'm a Stalinist, if that matters