Personally, I am a Marxist because I want to kill myself. I am a nihilist misanthrope with fascistic tendencies, and I think that working towards a communal and collectivist world is the best way to negate myself. A bullet in the head is an insufficient form of suicide. The thing that keeps me going is that someday I may face a truly greater amount of suffering. I despise others and I think I would really detest seeing a happier and better world.