>be me, 17yo trans person
>parents never let me go out except for rare occasions
>only left the house for school or work, education fell apart with relationships
>moved constantly growing up, no same stable home base for more than 3 years, albeit middle class, I had no one except my parents really to this day
>only trans representation was hyper-sexualized hellhole trans twitter
>started internalizing myself as just a sex object because of it
>family still misgenders me constantly, no validation at home
>found "accepting" people on snapchat who'd gender me correctly
>only way to get validation was to let them abuse me, compounding the issue
>at 16, signed up for grindr out of desperation
>met a 30-something trans woman who wanted to hook up
>she gave me an ultimatum and then drove me to the city, were ppl just gave me drugs
>ended up in drug-induced psychosis a few days later, hospitalized by the same guy
>hospital saved my life, but a few weeks later tested positive for herpes
>family took me back in after that, but nothing really changed
>went deep into internet rabbit holes trying to DIY HRT
>ended up in contact with terrorist groups on telegram, got scared and isolated
>went back on grindr, got groomed by a 50-something man with close to 10 pedo charges
>he watched gay porn during sex, misgendered me the whole time
>begged my dad to come home again afterwards
>dad drove me to a homeless shelter in a *different city I don't know* without warning
>said there were "more services in the city," essentially dumped me in the middle of nowhere to say fucking figure it out man idk
>3 years later still dealing with him taking me to random cities
>city's central intake put me in women's housing for refugees
>clearly not the right place for me, but here I am
>system completely failed at every step—family, healthcare, social services
>manufactured transphobia made DIY HRT the only option, led to dangerous networks
>no safety net but welfare, just abandonment and exploitation
>now isolated, traumatized, and unstable with my family saying "just get better" like that's going to happen overnight
>afraid of myself, don't know what to do next
>feeling completely lost under the weight of a society that wants me dead or discarded
>WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW? HOW DO I SURVIVE THIS?