my advice for queer people living at home with conservative parents and considering suicide: if you're going to kill yourself, don't just kill yourself. don't think that your suicide will teach your conservative parents a lesson, that the guilt will be a terrible punishment for them; it won't. they'll compartmentalize it and rationalize it and rewrite the entire story of your life to make themselves into the tragic victims and you a deranged confused self-destructive black sheep whom they tried their best to help and they just couldn't save and everyone around them will support them and go along with that narrative, they'll turn you into vapor, it will be like you never even existed.
so if you absolutely must kill yourself and you're totally deadset on it, then kill your conservative parents first. i don't care how you do it, what weapons you decide to use, how painful and gruesome you want it to be, just make them dead. then go on the run, steal your dad's guns and ammunition and supplies for the road, steal one of their cars and just drive, pick a direction and drive and see how far you can get, make the end of your life a fun crazy adventure, kill as many cops as you can before you are taken down and don't let them take you alive under any circumstances, give them no reprieve or satisfaction. if you're already going to throw your life away then don't be selfish about it and squander an opportunity to do something positive, something that inspires hope and brings a little ray of sunshine into a dark and weary world and doesn't allow your existence to simply be erased from history without so much as a trace.