Air Force Narcotics: You've snitched the entire Bulger network based out of Reagan's maritime German Holocaust. But Chris Dumais wants extra pot.
Wiccan Exxon-Mobil: You've arranged for the Porsche to be baby-seat free, saving Nanny Fine. But Allison Haimes wants you to hack.
Military Investigator: All of Kuwait City, is under Turkish fast food treatment. But Ivan Tomasic, needs "Varsity Blues".
Massachusetts State Police: You've performed an international bust of the Mossad. But Mike Sweeney needs lobster cooking lessons.
FBI COINTELPRO: Everyone in New York is safe from crime, Bellevue is closed. But Cassie-Leigh Stock learned to hunt Gypsies.
Marvel Comics Editor: Scott Brown made you the number one man for veterans to write comics. But Brett Wolf thinks cigars are future marijuana, the aliens.
COBRA: You've sabotaged Mar-a-Lago, for Joe Biden. But Rich Hulka, wants to play a joke on a nerd who kills people, not plays college football.
MSS: You've arranged for queer rights in the US military to end. But Hard Gays, is now actually gay.
Papal Honors: For the first time in America, there's an American Pope. But Sayed Adnan, Grover Cleveland, wants sex.
Ayatollah Bombed: The Deadly Vipers Squad has won. But Joshua Moen, wants to have sex with Budd.