The problem is not desire but desire production.
We see the seducer manipulating us but we do not see capital maniputing the seducer. The advertiser only sells the production of desires which sell. The salesman identifies with the market, and disidentifies with his own desires, so the salesman comes to believe that outside of work he is possessed by an alien force when exactly the opposite true.
Patriarchy is a product both of the family control of reproductive labor, and the media control of desire production. So we have seen since the 15th century a weakening of the family, and a strengthening of the media. So we have seen a shift in patriarchy from aphobia to gayphobia, and the construction of the pervert.
The solution to queerphobia is not just to abolish the capitalist family, but also to abolish the capitalist media. We must stop fetishizing independent art and start unionizing advertisers, writers, journalists and other pornographers. If it does not print then we walk out.