Having trouble relating to other trans people.

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Having trouble relating to other trans people. Anonymous 02-09-25 18:06:34 No.3907

Why can’t I relate to other trans people? I just can’t relate to the level of comfort and pride and self-love many of them have. It genuinely seems like so many of them don’t have the part of the brain that makes them cringe. They’re just so unfiltered and unapologetic, I just can’t relate at all, I constantly feel like a gross disgusting excuse for a woman and feel scared interacting with the world as one. I don’t know why I cling so strongly onto this meekness, maybe it’s misogyny, I just associate being boisterous and loud with being masculine. I can’t relate to how willing they are to make cringy niche trans memes to their cis friends. I just am so anxious to discuss transness in any open forum where I know cis people might see it. I admit I still have this kind of backwards view that being trans is something shameful and it would be better to stealth if possible. Idk what to do, I want this level of comraderie other trans people have but being in trans spaces, especially trans women spaces just makes me cringe, it either feels like it’s full of very bro-ish sorts of trans women who are unapologetically masculine, or trans women who feel sort of overly preformatively feminine. I genuinely just can’t relate to most of trans culture right now.

Anonymous 02-09-25 19:49:20 No.3908

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I have similarly. I also hate that a lot of trans spaces are entirely built around being as negative as humanly possible and pretty much every meme or joke shared is in some way or form related to suicide, self harm, self hatred or some fucking drama.

Also an anon has been posting something related to Judith Butler that imo kinda fits. Gender is a role the same way being a judge is a role.
A judge doesn't need to wear a robe and a silly wig to be a judge but won't be adressed as such unless they wear that shit and perform the part. It's the same with gender and you're one of the people that can actually notice it and feel like its jarring to just be LARPing. People are too complex to fit neatly into a box!

Imo gender dysphoria is merely discomfort with the changes that your natural hormones cause you and your assigned social role. That whole stuff about being "fembrained" "trutrans" or whatever other brainworms are bullshit.

If you take hormones and change your pronouns that's all you really need. Forcing yourself to like Barbie and pink just to "brainpass" is just mental retardation. FUCK I hate most transhumanists sometimes I hate that being one makes me stuck with the other ones.

Anonymous 02-09-25 23:34:34 No.3912

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Same, I low-key kinda hate those kinds of trans people because I’m so jealous of them. They seem so much happier than me, like they actually enjoy life.

I do also associate being boisterous and loud with masculinity. Could that be because of misogyny? Maybe, but personally I see being quiet as a good thing, and life would be greater if everyone was less loud regardless of gender. I still think being quiet is just apart of my personality though, I doubt I’d be loud or outspoken even if there were no gender norms and it was socially acceptable to be openly trans. My hatred for boys and how loud and obnoxious they were is one of the things that lead me to the realization I was trans in the first place

Anonymous 02-09-25 23:45:46 No.3913

Women are loud as shit, wtf? God, get just a handful of them together and the sound of cackling could fill an auditorium.

Maybe you gals are just scared of being loud because you know your pitch isn't right.

Reminds me my mom commenting on hearing some other group of women with their earsplitting alto voices being like: "Omg, we really sound like that don't we, the pitch."

I've lived in a couple party spots, and I never heard men outside, but like all night til like fucking 4 in the morning you will hear drunk bitches screaming at the top of their lungs walking by. Maybe if I heard a man it would be a soft low voice going: Uhhh heyy Cindy keep down, you're disturbing people.

Anonymous 02-09-25 23:46:46 No.3914

Take a page from them.

Anonymous 03-09-25 00:02:38 No.3915

Practice being loud along with this vid. Imagine you're in the Oprah audience.

Anonymous 03-09-25 00:09:09 No.3916

Anonymous 03-09-25 00:54:48 No.3917

>>3913
>Women are loud as shit, wtf? God, get just a handful of them together and the sound of cackling could fill an auditorium.
I wish I fit into this stereotype and was a chatty woman. I hate the fact im not like this

Anonymous 03-09-25 01:11:59 No.3918

>the part of the brain that makes them cringe.
Unlearning cringe is the first step of developing basic emotional intelligence.

Glownonymous 03-09-25 07:00:18 No.3920

>>3913
My apartment complex has at least a 1:1 female-to-male ratio of tenants and it's always the men i hear rambling in the halls, loudly cackling next door or screaming about their g*ming cringe. In all my time only ever heard one woman from my window, who visited to get her earrings back from her boyfriend(?). This makes me believe loud and boisterous women are a small, largely self-selecting group that dominates public spaces, but neither represents the majority of women, nor is as frequent an outcome as it is for male identity. Or in public spaces talking loudly might just be something people do, regardless of gender or self-awareness.

Glownonymous 03-09-25 07:15:12 No.3921

>>3907
ahaha the trans plush LOL XD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! epic FTW

Glownonymous 03-09-25 07:15:41 No.3922

>>3918
secondhand embarrassment is part of "emotional intelligence" too fucktard

Anonymous 03-09-25 15:04:18 No.3923

>>3907
> waah weeeeeeey waaaaah i am not like other awesome tranwahmen waaaaahh i am such a pathetic girl waaaahhh
Okay? And?

Anonymous 03-09-25 15:52:21 No.3924

>>3913
When I get drunk with my cis girlies I do tend to get loud with them, but it takes me alcohol and a group I know won’t judge me too harshly.

Anonymous 03-09-25 20:32:21 No.3925

There's no singular culture for a minority, you'll eventually find one that better matches you. Also, being trans is kind of a special case, since, like you mentioned, stealth is a thing, and huge portions of the community are indistinguishable from cis people. With the pressure to not be trans in an increasingly hostile world, the ones who aren't either boymoding or stealth, hiding at one end or another, are the ones who have decided to not give a shit and be entirely, unapologetically themselves. This makes them look cringe, but they're arguably the bravest of us, so I'm not complaining. They deserve to express their joy. A lot of them also don't have a choice, and are fighting their way through the days with that loud positivity as a weapon. So much of how queer people interact with the world is on the terms of cishet overlords in this way, it can be exhausting, but it's what we've got right now.

Glownonymous 03-09-25 21:07:13 No.3926

>>3923
yeahh nobody likes people who act pathetic (except for like predators and abusers lol). probably a big reason people are less put off by loud and proud drag queens than terminally online smol bean anxious depressed trans girls

S 03-09-25 22:15:11 No.3927

Knock on some doors for your org and you will quickly find your self confidence.

Anonymous 03-09-25 22:41:10 No.3930

>blahaj
IT'S BLÅHAJ
WITH AN Å
GET IT RIGHT

Anonymous 04-09-25 20:26:48 No.3940

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>>3926
Not op but I’m genuinely just a pathetic person, I’m not acting it’s just what I am. I’m too autistic and socially inept to ever have the boisterous confidence of a drag queen. I’m incapable of being charismatic like neurotypical people are. Nobody will ever like me or want to be my friend or ever love me

Glownonymous 04-09-25 20:47:12 No.3941

>>3940
idk i have a friend with the tism who is physically unattractive and constantly infodumping and making unfunny nerdy jokes (that pretty much only i get (and theyre still unfunny)) and people still like him

Anonymous 04-09-25 20:50:30 No.3942

>>3941
It doesn’t sound like you like him at all, considering you find him so annoying and unfunny. Likely everyone else does aswell but they just act nice. I used to be like him when I was a kid until I found out all the people I openly talked to actually found me insufferable, so I stopped talking to others all together

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