/lgbt/ - LGBT

Personally I'm chill with just looking like someone's mom, so seeing a character that's "prettier" (which seems like a spook) doesn't mess with me that much. Might be because my ideas of what counts as pretty is formed by furry art so humans aren't top teir for me to begin with on that scale.

- Change your tastes to something you wouldn't be disappointed in not achieving yourself, either by developing attraction for something closer to what you can achieve, or something that just straight up doesn't exist outside of art.
- Develop an idea of femininity not founded in being attractive to others. You are not nor should you aspire to be a sex object.

I know Max Stirner wrote something useful here but I don't know the exact words. Basically ask yourself “Is this idea mine, or am I it's?” regularly.

>>4217
if it makes you feel any better, bridget is a femboy, not a trans woman

>It felt like the movie itself was mocking me for being too cowardly to transition, and basically telling me that I was gonna suffer and be unhappy forever until I die.
Oh COME ON, THIS ISN'T EVEN SUBTEXT

>>4220
Well bridget's an advanced sorta deal:
- assigned female at birth because if she was cis by normal standards that would trigger a curse
- left her village and detransed to femboy, making her trans according to her village but cis elsewhere
- retransed to woman in strive, making her cis according to her village but trans elsewhere

Basically a thought experiment about the nature of cisness and transness.

>>4217
Many art regardless of portraying a trans character or not may be received as something beautiful to the one and just like how art entails fantasy of thought, it is not surprising to have desires to experience that fantasy in an idealized way.

One may feel gloomy that they are not a character in an 2D cartoon they were amazed with. Like being a peanut shooter plant creature embracing your beloved sunflower plant creature.

But at the end of the day, it does not seem like such fantasies are coming any soon, so I guess you gotta take it easy- let your soul full of sorrow rest for a while.

>>4219
I cant control what im attracted too, unfortunately. Plus, its not just the physical attractiveness that makes me feel shitty in comparison, its also how happy, socialible, and self-accepting most trans characters are.

>Develop an idea of femininity not founded in being attractive to others. You are not nor should you aspire to be a sex object.
A lot of feminity is fundamentally founded in being attractive to others as a result of the patriarchy. Besides, I just want men to actually find me attractive for once in my life. Im so tired of being alone, and im not talented at anything or contribute anything to society, so my appearance is basically the only thing of value that I have

>>4221
tbh I got spoiled on the ending before I watched it. I watched like the first ten minutes and then quit because I already had the knowledge on the ending in my mind and it made me see everything through the lenses that it was mocking me.

Besides, if they are trying to make a "theres still time" message then why did they go with the ending they chose? kinda seems to imply the complete opposite

>>4225
The ending is ambiguous, you can choose to believe she ran right to the grave shaped hole after the tv in her chest showed or that she compartmentalized her feelings before as she did for more than two decades

>>4220
they made her into a trans woman in the newest game. kinda sucks since femboys barely get any representation whatsoever in video games. idk why they couldnt just make a new original character who was trans and kept bridgette a femboy so that both trans people and femboys would get representation

>Everytime I see a character like brigette from guilty gear im just reminded how ill never be as pretty as her, and how ill never be as confident and happy as her.

Yeah because you're not an anime character you're an actual human being subject to ageing and death. You weren't drawn by a person trying to make a pretty character in an specific artstyle that looks like nobody ever on the planet earth, instead your appearance is that of a weird hairless monkey and with variations determined by genetics (not a personal insult btw! I know its very redditpilled but memento monke. You're a fucking MONKEY. We all are) . You will NEVER be anime.

>>4225
Ah I see, like they're trying too hard to make the characters good role models and such.

I'll dig around for a PDF but there is a book called Not Dead by Madi Girlmeat that had pretty messy rep you might find fun.

>>4229
here we go, it was on my e-reader

>>4228
what's even the point of living if i cannot be perfectly beautiful

>>4217
you should not compare yourself to cartoons

>>4228
>>4232
It's not just anime though, The trans characters in live action media are always far more prettier than ill ever be. And those are played by real people.
>>4231
Real
>>4230
thanks

>>4234
>live action media
the amount of editing that goes into that stuff makes it pretty much just a cheap way of doing a cartoon

>>4217
no anon, stop repping!!

just be a retarded puppygirl and have no personality, it's so in! alleviate your suffering by smoking copious amounts of weed or doing tons of ket and never get laser, it's okay because you're a cute puppygirl and all the guys on grindr call you a good girl.

now take your 2mg estradiol with spiro and remember to be a bad example today.

>>4234
That's something cis people experience too since they typically select above average or freakishly attractive people to be actors. I'm a masc cis guy, and while I don't think I'm bad looking I'd certainly love to look like Ryan Gosling or something.

even Marina Funger?

>just twinkpassing
>chased by ghosts of her past
>back in town when everything goes to shit

she's literally me

>>4616
Marina looks infinitley better than I ever could. If shes considered "just twinkpassing" then there's no chance of me ever passing

>>4618

she's literally just the game soldier sprite with a wig

this implies empire soldiers are also twinks

>ill never be as pretty as her

loud incorrect buzzer

>>4630
But its not incorrect. My body is so masculine and ugly. My bonestructure will never be as feminine as her, ill never be as perfect as her, ill never be as confident as her.

>>4633
I think you should go interact with some cis girls, you know, get off the boards that are 100% men and trans women, cis girls love hons, usually compare themselves to like Lana del Rey, Shelley duval and not anime characters, like seriously go outside

>>4634
Im too autistic to interact with other people. I have no friends, let alone cis woman friends. Plus, its not like I'm even remotely as pretty as Lana del Rey either. Besides most cis girls "love hons" the same way they "love" their gay male friend, nothing more than novel accesories to them

>>4635
No u see the gay male-cis girl accessory relationship goes both ways. It's a very unique relationship. They are both parasitizing each other in an endless loop. Cis girls will then do this to trans women too, but you will do it back to cis girls. You will make them feel you are more "real" than they are, and they will make you feel the same way. It's a mutual parasitism. Cool cis girls would love to be dolls or gay men. In fact, this is the true basis for the hsts agp distinction: whether you can dj a set and talk about like Anais nin with the faghags or only arouse awkward pity cause all you have is anime, abstract algebra, and how much you hate yourself.

>>4636
For the love of god get off /tttt/-adjacent spaces. Even the well-meaning people here are full of shit, and it’s very telling that they describe cis-trans friendship as some weirdly fetishistic transactional “faghag-hon” symbiosis. It’s just a repackaged blackpill and it breaks my fucking heart.

For all the flak Steven Universe gays get, you will find genuine acceptance and hope in that crowd. Lots of us are also autistic losers. I’m cis, autistic, and barely leave the house. I will never look like Brigitte either, because I’m not a cartoon. Lots of trans women are more conventionally attractive than I am, but that doesn’t make me, or you, or these women, any less of a woman.

I just. I don’t know how to properly convey this, but I’ve. I’ve seen how hope, or the lack thereof, can make or break a person. When one of my friends came out, the whole squad supported her, and she was full of hope and eager to transition. One of our friends hooked her up with a local org that helped her with all the paperwork, expedited the waiting lists a ton, and within a year she was medically transitioning. She and her identical twin brother barely look related now, she’s actually blossomed.

By contrast, my ex-girlfriend (who was also part of the friend group) had been so blackpilled by /tttt/ that she saw no way out. I tried to support her as best as I could, but it was like she had tunnel vision. I hate the concept of passing, but I cannot emphasize how much she passed even without HRT. She was convinced that somehow, everyone could clock her by her posture and gait and some arcane form of phrenology. Our friend tried to hook her up with the same help for HRT and she refused because she didn’t see the point. She said she’d tried on her own for years (bad idea, it’s why these orgs exist) and got nowhere, therefore it was pointless and she was doomed to suffer dysphoria forever. Then our friend cracked her egg and was doing HRT within the year and she knew this but somehow still believed she was uniquely incapable of being happy. I had to watch, helplessly, as she sunk further and further into despair, sabotage herself at every turn, and become a bitter, angry person who believed herself unworthy of love. I had to break up with her because she was dragging me down with her and I already struggle with deep depression, but we stayed friends because I still loved and cared about her. Months later she sort of… mentally snapped, went on a furious unhinged rant, stopped talking to everyone and blocked everyone’s numbers, social media, everything.

She’s okay. Physically, at least. It’s been years but I check her Instagram every now and then. Afaik she still hasn’t gone on HRT like she desperately wanted and needed, and it breaks my heart. I hope someday she’ll stop pushing people away, accept help, and work towards the happiness she deserves.

I’m saying all this because I really think these 4chan-adjacent echo chambers can truly be a death trap for trans people, especially transfems. Genuinely, objectively, from the bottom of my heart, from the outside looking in, cis people don’t obsess over skull shape and shoulder width. Literally the number one clock factor is just. Voice. And you can voice train on your own for free. Everything else, and I do mean literally everything else, HRT and laser can take care of. I swear estrogen is some kind of shapeshifting sorcery because yall will look like women even in so-called boymode. Just a girl in a hoodie, looking comfy. I’m so serious, it’s not a platitude. The average cis person will look at you and say “girl” and will only clock you if your voice doesn’t match.

I’m rambling, sorry. I just. I hope you can find the courage and safety to transition someday. And for the love of god don’t take that damn blackpill.

>>4662
> And you can voice train on your own for free.
Links on guides pls. How long will it take?

>>4662
OP here but not the person you were replying too. The "steven universe gay" crowd may be hopeful, but that doesnt mean that hope is warranted. Id rather face the cruel reality instead of giving myself false hope and false comfort. Many of those communities are just toxic positivity echochambers, and they would absolutely hate me and not except me because I dont have the cheery hopeful attitudes they all do. Ive seen what they say about tttt girls, a lot of it is absolutely awful. I frequently come across comment sections where they say heinous things about tttt girls

Those trans women you see that are more conventionally attractive than you are an extreme rarity that is only shown off more because the internet promotes conventionally attractive women. The vast majority of us arent even remotely as pretty as the average cis woman.

Ill never be able to experience the support that your one friend had since ill never have any friends or support group. You probably see my as a lost cause just like you see your ex-girlfriend as one. I shouldnt interact with anyone ever anyways, like you say id just drag others down. you see me like an angry evil bitter monster, it hurts so much to read that stuff. Im already 18 so its likely too late for me to transition anyways. But im just nothing more than an unhinged crazy psychotic unfixable loser to you and everyone else.

Ive tried voice training IVE TRIED and i didnt understand any of the instructions, not a single one. its all too confusing, im too stupid. I already took the "blackpill" so you already hate me anyways, you think im beyond saving and that im a subhuman who shouldnt exist

>>4685
How life-denying. 18 years is not that old, just focus on the future FFS and take ethinylestradiol (but DO NOT take any progestins before your breasts will grow to 3 stage of Tanner).
At the very least, estrogen ALREADY reduces gender dysphoria, you can take estriol, cuz I heard it has huge effect on mood.

I have DID, I daydream/ruminate constantly and can’t concentrate on anything, while the daydreams are controlled by subpersonalities and they are often bad.
When it was time to apply to college (this year), I went to get a new photo for my student ID card. I was terrified by the length of my head and chin. I thought it’s over and I should have started HRT when I had mild dysphoria at 14. I constantly looked in the mirror and measured my skull, ruminate about it for about several months, and I started having suicidal thoughts. I started researching FFS and looking at photos of cis women. In the end, I calmed down with the idea that ethinylestradiol would give me a guaranteed pass in the future and the fact that Sobchak and Princess Diana exist (existed).

At least, even if i am a untervegetable, daydreams gives me some hope. But, of course, my life is shit and zero friends (I’m don’t even study right now, I’m just don’t going to college after bullying) makes it worse. Internet is too boring and cruel, I've never seen anyone celebrate a child's suicide before, only transphobes have done that.
If I had a voice pass, I would just stream and make videos on youtube as a cis woman and not deal with this shit.

>>4685
4chan is literally a death cult designed to make people who should be happy into mass shooters instead. Never go there, never follow their adjacent ideologies, none of it. Even this site is a little uncomfortably close to that sphere at times. Get your ass somewhere very, very far away where you can deprogram.

The reality is that 99.9% of 4chan-ass webizens have been programmed to do constant self-defeating actions and repeat self-defeating mantras, all to trick themselves into believing there's no hope, even in situations like your own where you've basically got a whole beautiful life ahead of you ready to go. It's self harm. You're also programmed to naturally want to fight back when someone like me tells you all this, but don't, it's literally just true.

Also, >>4221
like seriously

>>4688
>>4689
I think a lot of trans people were at one point at a similar stage you are. But really this stage is unsustainable. The contradiction has still not been resolved. Daydreaming is not enough, you have to change yourself and really live in the world.

>>4685
I think autistic people struggle a lot with voice training since we often have issues with body control and such. That doesn't mean its impossible, but it probably will take a decade to learn. You just have to stick to it.

>>4708
>Daydreaming is not enough, you have to change yourself and really live in the world.
I try, but they are constant.

>>4685
>Im already 18 so its likely too late for me to transition anyways.
You‘re basically still a baby. You‘re just in an awful mood and you will snap out of it eventually.

You should try anyways, because there is no better alternative, and staying where you are is not it. Additionally, you must find an internal motive for transitioning. I understand that passing is an important concept for trans people, but it is simultaneously what makes you deeply unhappy, while the transitioning process itself takes a lot of time and courage. Find an internal motive that grounds your reason to go on.

Transfem characters in media are basically always one of two things:
>Transphobic stereotype
>The happiest most hyperfeminine thing alive
There's a few exceptions but they're pretty rare; Vivian and Luka are the most "real" ones that come to mind. I suppose the way the fascoids have demonized trans trauma makes it difficult to even write an authentic trans character anymore.

>>4729
>You‘re basically still a baby. You‘re just in an awful mood and you will snap out of it eventually.

Im unfortunately still feeling the same even now, I fear i may never stop feeling this way.

>you must find an internal motive for transitioning

Im assuming you mean a motive other than wanting to have a feminine body, but what other motive could there even be?

>>4685
are you even on hrt? because you guys are always so fucking annoying when you're not on hrt or in the 0-2 year range
you sound incredibly neurotic anyway, so id just recommend being on hrt for a while and trying not to do anything stupid, not many downsides to it anyway
follow the /hrtgen/ guide and not whatever honscience you'll probably get psyopped by
>>4630
stop being delusional, real people don't look like anime girls, and even if they did you're probably european and not asian, so you just won't look like one and there's nothing wrong with that
>>4635
even if it is pretty terrible, you still need to interact with cis women
i recommend not taking anything they say at face value, don't let them inflate your ego so you act like a weird pet/clown thing
if you can end up passing later/get ffs and pass, cut them all off, just go no contact, then make new friends and don't tell them you're trans, you should only confide in very very close MALE friends

>>5804

is "Testosterone poisoning" a real thing?

i feel like i'm taking chip damage every second every day

>>5808
what the fuck are you even talking about

>>5810

idk i keep hearing about it, my boyfriend thinks it's kinda stupid

i just feel sad and angry all the time withour HRT

>>5811
are you insane or just stupid? did you think going off hrt would have no effects? get back on hrt, now

>>5812

I'm not on it yet, I need the help of the trans association to get an endo because my bf and my dad want me to get my levels before I start

>>5814
well have fun waiting probably multiple years just to get denied because the endo didnt think you were pretty enough or something
you don't need an endo to get labs you can order them yourself, and I'd really recommend it unless you have some informed consent place near you and even then, I'd still recommend doing it yourself

>>5814
just fucking inject 5mg of estrogen valerate subcutaneously [into the tummy fat] once per week

>>5816
>valerate
>once per week
come on now, no trolling

>>4598
why is it that i get to have no personality but none of the other stuff
what did i do wrong in this life or a past life that i get to be nothing floating around leftypol.org instead of a dime-a-dozen twitter puppygirl?

>>5815

it's a small city, the trans association it's also small and one of the only ones in the country, i still have to pay for the endo so i just pick one on the list and go, problem is it's kinda far and on the bougie part of town so imma need someone to help me get there because i can only orientate myself on my milsim vidya

>>5816
imma do legs, i don't like my tummy getting poked

>>5819
i already got those links and what i need to order me thinks but my dad and bf still want me to get my levels before i start, and since they're the ones with money since i lost my only source of income since PD2 stopped getting an influx of people commissioning obscure ass guns.

>>5822
go look at /hrtgen/ there are places you can get levels done without waiting 10 years for an endo if you live in those countries
every day you are not on hrt you are slowly permanently masculinizing so you should at least express this to your bf (but to be honest ive heard too many stories of bfs/parents just dragging out how long it takes you to get on hrt because they want you to change your mind)

>>5823

why 10 years? they should have it in a week most as soon as i get there, otherwise a lot of people in the association chat would be complaining.

i'll try to talk to them today tho i need to calm down because i'm mid panic attack

>>5804
>are you even on hrt

No, I wouldve been by now if it wasnt for incompotent postal services. Plus even if I was, im unable to do blood tests so it might still all go wrong anyways.

>you sound incredibly neurotic
Youre not wrong lol

>even if it is pretty terrible, you still need to interact with cis women

I just cant bring myself to approach them, or anyone for that matter. Nobody wants some random strange man coming up to them for no reason. I would just seem like a creep and make them uncomfortable. I havent had a single friend since elementary school so ive completly forgotten how to socialize in the slightest

>>5827

curiosos feos

>>5826
>postal service mishap
that really sucks when you're just trying to get on it anon, i assume you've already ordered another vial?
anyway i think you will feel better a little while after starting, this period you're in especially is always the worst
dont get involved in some weird polycule or something
>unable to do blood tests
are there no options available in your country for this?

>>5831
>that really sucks when you're just trying to get on it anon, i assume you've already ordered another vial?
I actually ordered two before and both times postal service messed it up, this would be my third attempt and im starting to lose hope. its like whatever god is out there is doing everything to prevent me from ever being happy
>anyway i think you will feel better a little while after starting, this period you're in especially is always the worst
I hope so, thank you