It feels like there are two realities for trans people. Some people just pass effortlessly somehow, and then other people can't pass no matter how they try unless it is with a very specific camera angle and lighting.
What do you think? Does anyone here pass? Not saying you have to pass to be properly trans but also I think people saying they are fine with not passing are just coping. It just feels so frustrating seeing these people who just pass effortlessly and then I'm spending years to get nowhere with voice training and my hands are too shaky to do makeup.
>>4244Cosmetics and surgery or be born with a physiognomy conducive to passing.
>>4244i feel like autism is a major obstacle to that
>>4246I think autism is kind of an obstacle but not that big of one. Maybe dyspraxia is for me but I don't think most people have that. Autism means some people don't care about passing, but I don't think it stops people who want to from doing it.
I genuinely don't know how I pass. I just kinda did it.
The first time I remember passing was so weird. It wasn't all that long ago I found out and accepted I was trans. I spoke to noone about it and put absolutely zero effort into anything except growing my hair out (by simply not getting haircuts at all) - it was about shoulder length. I had the most obvious (to me) beard shadow in the world, masc features and clothing. Fat and ugly as fuck.
Got "she"d the entire day. A family member of mine that I rarely ever see told me they have a hard time seeing me as male and had to "correct" themselves in their head all the time.
This was one of the rare cases of me traveling, driving around and interacting with "new" people who didn't know me as male at the time.
When I moved to a different city, I really felt the difference. Still ugly as fuck, even longer hair -> she.
The moment I lost weight I noticed strangers treating me differently again, notably men. I stopped wearing explicitly feminine clothing (like skirts) for a while because it made men hit on me ten times as much.
I don't wear makeup except for chapstick. I wear baggy, comfy, cheap clothes. I don't even have any sort of hair removal yet and god "blessed" me with strong and fast hair growth. You can probably spot some stubble in the afternoon.
Strangers are really blind to everything. I saw that with my grandma and her twin sister all the time. To me, they look nothing alike. Their voices, their faces, their bodies, their movement, their way of behaving, their style of clothing - they're all totally different. But to strangers they look alike. They can't tell them apart. They "pass" as each other.
I guess I'm really lucky, but really: try interacting with some strangers.
>>4248It's kind of the opposite for me. My family respects me but strangers always are like 'mate' and 'bro' not in a malicious way or anything.
your mistake is thinking a cope is somehow bad. literally every human ever copes. it means you accept and find peace with something you are (mostly) powerless to change.
let's be real. this conversation wouldn't happen without transphobia. talking about copes is wasting time and energy tbh. I became so much happier in life when I started really just accepting my flaws and then looking for specific ways to improve those flaws.
also a lot less of us pass than you think. People are just a lot more polite to dolled up people I think. ive seen Natalie Wynn irl and there are pictures of her next to cis women…for as good as I think Natalie looks, she is visibly trans when standing near most cis women. ribs and shoulders. Blaire White too…the image of her passing is tailored for social media and im not saying she doesnt look good but if you ever see a Pic of her irl by cis women it is the same thing. you can instantly clock her shoulders and wide chest even though she is on the smaller side for amab it is still very hard to pass next to cis women who are still like half your size.
fact is amabs almost always get clockable features even passoids. stop judging by social media and pr0n. being irl around people is the truth. I have a "passable" face which includes, somehow, a really feminine smile that looks identical to my mom's. im 130 pounds, I workout, booty and legs and core, you know the drill. ive been on HRT since age 20 back in 2008. im also naturally no body hair. I never grew more than peach fuzz on my face even at 20.
I look good in makeup and im just being real. people tell me that constantly and I have a mirror lol. and yet? I pass maybe 70% of the time? im 5'11" and then even a basic sneaker will make me go over 6' so I dont ever consider heels cause my height is already so bad. im not insanely broad but I also dont have some sleight waifish build, ive compensated by just going as lean as I can, but 100% passing is a fantasy for me unless we get Ghost in the Shell cyborg bodies.
basically I pass from the neck up pretty well. body wise people see me as like…one of those female Olympians that people transvestigate maybe? like a tall swimmer or volley ball player. also I need like a fucking size 11 women's for shoes.
but yeah? stopped caring years ago. confidence dominates a room. fuck em all.
>>4251What is the point in coping. It just means you can't properly identify your flaws. It's more important to see the world for what it really is than to be at peace with yourself.
Also it is easy for you to say if you are passing in many ways.
>>4254I still think the principle of de-emphasizing passability is important for us, even though most of the above advice is inapplicable for us and we'll undoubtedly experience more adversity. There's a timeline where you can make peace even knowing how other people scrutinize you. And if it's any consolation, I'm still trying to figure that out too.
>>4256Yeah I don't really disagree that the world would be better if we didn't worry about passing or looking good. If you don't care then that is like actually amazing. But that isn't the world we live in. I want to be percieved by others as a beautiful revolutionary, an angel, not a freak.
Though at the same time I do kind of feel like embracing the evil. I've been writing a lot about this where the Communists are the wicked blood / pain magic demon users trying to destroy heaven and break the natural order of the world. Mass murder is good actually. That's how I feel sometimes. I'm going dark magical girl core.
>>4258>Mass murder is good actually.I don't see how that factors into your anti-euthanasia views, but based and left-hand pilled. You should form a dionysian marxist coven.
>>4259It's only good when my side is doing it. Anyway I wish I could get into the whole mysticalism stuff but I am kind of terminally materialist, I crave to be a magical witch but I can't convince myself any of that stuff is real. Like this is absolutely a good thing but I just can't quite slip off the deep end. I think its just because my experience with life is so wierd anyway. When I close my eyes I see very weird things and I lucid dream almost every night. That all not being real kind of taught me not to hope for things, not to pine for things and just sit daydreaming all the time, but to actually do them. And that also gives me the inspiration for writing (and hopefully like making games or animation if I can ever get skilled enough to do that).
Sorry for blogpoasting >.<
>>4260Most Crowleyites see themselves as materialist, as they're very results oriented. Personally i would say those things are absolutely real in the marxian sense, because they affect yourself directly, others indirectly and ultimately material reality without requiring the same type of attention as non-magickal practice. The only thing not to do is adopt a magical worldview, using something you made yourself believe for a ritual to reason about material reality. That advice may ring kind of hollow though, as i've only had mild successes with drafting sigils, inducing trances and kind of making myself feel better while on-off practicing for some years :-)
>>4258You dont pass because you are an idealist.
>>4251>let's be real. this conversation wouldn't happen without transphobia.Even in a perfectly tolerant world I would still have crippling dysphoria from not passing.