/lgbt/ - LGBT

>>5209
What are the things that make you want to be a "boy" and not a woman? You might still have some hangups related to your view of womanhood, that you need to work through. Keep in mind "femmen" currently aren't a real thing.

>>5222
>currently
yet

Youthful maximalism

>>5209
you are already a normal person OP. what your idea of a "girl" and a "femboy" is?

>>5222
>What are the things that make you want to be a "boy" and not a woman?
There's something about presenting femininely while still identifying as a boy that i find both novel and appealing.

Another reason is that being referred to as a girl just doesnt feel right to me. I briefly did identify as trans in a few online communities, but I often felt a discomforting sense that I was intruding on an identity that im not apart of, that I dont belong. Occasionally I did feel fine being referred to as a girl online, but most of the time it felt very wrong to me. I never felt this way when it comes to being in femboy communities though.

Lastly and most minor of the reasons, I just cant imagine myself in a straight relationship as a trans woman. Dating straight men seems absolutely awful. However, I can very much imagine myself dating another gay guy as a femboy, it feels a lot more desirable to me.

>Keep in mind "femmen" currently aren't a real thing.
The term itself makes me want to vomit tbh. I absolutely hate being referred to as a man. I honestly dont know what ill do about the inevitability of aging.

>>5247
>I often felt a discomforting sense that I was intruding on an identity that im not apart of, that I dont belong
This is something you can overcome. I would go so far to say it's good to be conscious of the fact, transitioning doesn't instantly negate your past as a boy/man.
>Dating straight men seems absolutely awful.
You know, that's a classic straight woman experience, which in their case makes them not want to date men at all. Tbh i don't know any gay men personally, so i can't judge their character, yet since being gay became "normal", i think a lot of them want to conform to some version of heterosexual norms. Men saying they're gay or bisexual for dating trans woman is also a common enough occurence, but they're pretty resoundingly seen as assholes for that.

There's nothing to cope with, you're just scared of being weird, which is a spook.

I think I'm probably some flavor of genderfluid too, where being a woman and being agender are like the tide on the beach. I don't really think about it and just think of myself as the average of the two since over time it does average out in the middle.

Just think of yourself as a she/they femboy woman thingy, or whatever you think it averages out too, and don't stress if you don't have the words to describe it.

>>5209
thats called being a transvestite, its different than being transgender

>>5209
ugh I'm so sorry for all your turmoil

>>5252
I wasnt just referring to the identity of being a woman in general, but to the identity of being a trans woman. Even in online communities among other trans women, i still felt that sense of discomfort when telling them i was also a trans girl, I still felt like I was intruding and faking.

Idk how exactly to describe it, but I feel like trans women are on a higher level of goodness than me, and that I dont deserve to put myself in the same level as them, and that im just a gross faker invading their community.

>since being gay became "normal", i think a lot of them want to conform to some version of heterosexual norms
Now that i think about it, this is definitley true unfortunately. Ive observed a lot of demonization of feminine men within the gay community lately because they "make other gay people look bad" or that they "reinforce gay stereotypes". Meanwhile I see masculinity be praised and gushed over way more than I used too. Its kinda made me feel isolated from the gay community. But thats kinda besides the point

>>5253
>Just think of yourself as a she/they femboy woman thingy, or whatever you think it averages out too, and don't stress if you don't have the words to describe it.
I wish I could do this, but I feel an extreme need to label myself and put myself in a box. I long to feel like im apart of a community, thus I feel the need to have a solid identity so that I can identify myself with a community and try and fit in with it.
That's probably just a me problem though.

>>5264
Thank you anon

>>5285
>I feel an extreme need to label myself and put myself in a box.
That's fair.
>I long to feel like I'm a part of a community, thus I feel the need to have a solid identity so that I can identify myself with a community and try and fit in with it.
I've managed to be pretty well integrated into communities I've been in without being too precisely descriptive of myself, but yearning that 20/20 description of oneself is definitely part of the culture.

Maybe you could take a look at how plural people express that, since being genderfluid and being plural are both cases of time-variable identity.

>>5209
>conception of gender comes entirely from fucking anime shit
jfc lmfao

>>5288
>conception of gender comes entirely from [cultural works]
Yeah, that's normal. It seems silly because everyone's irony poisoned now, but that's how gender works. Your great great grandfather learned knighthood from a town crier, your mom learned womanhood from a Coca Cola ad, you learn femboyhood from anime, your kid will learn camera-headhood from skibidi toilet.

>>5285
>I dont deserve to put myself in the same level as them, and that im just a gross faker invading their community.
Especially when you haven't had strong feelings about gender before, deciding to be trans may feel selfish. From the lens of mainstream society it is always seen as the ultimate act of selfishness, as it means upstaging the same, and therefore liberals feel the needs to justify it as medicating dysphoria or with allegedly scientific concepts of transbrain. However, your self-conception and desire to be recognized do not conform to these moral frameworks, therefore the possibility you will find any more confirmation than your own current discomfort is entirely incidental and the decision to alleviate it should be yours.

Gender is a spook. Just enjoy the things you do, act the way you act, as long as not disrespectful to others, and look the way you want to look within reason. There is no need to put a label on it.

>>5288
I never mentioned anime even once in this entire thread lol

>>5298
I suppose so, but its definitley not just liberals portraying it as such. Ive seen plenty of transwomen on this board reinforce the concept of transbrain and other stuff like that. And im also not sure that I can just choose to alleviate my discomfort, i cant really control the fact that I feel discomfort.

>>5332
But labels are so heavily ingrained into society though, idk how id live without one.

>>5333
>I never mentioned anime even once in this entire thread lol
<wanting to be a girl but also wanting to just be a femboy
one is being trans the other is retarded weeaboo shit. and your pic is literally from anime

>>5332
This is an undialectical understanding society. Read Stalin.

>>5334
Femboys don't originate from anime, the subculture literally started in the west and is still mostly only prevalent in western countries. I havent even seen the anime the character in the pic is from, I only used an image of him because he's a popular well-known femboy character.

>>5333
>im also not sure that I can just choose to alleviate my discomfort
No, you can't, or personally i think you only can with a shit-ton of psychedelics and at the cost of your current identy and most personal values. I'm refering to the fact that your desires, however deeply ingrained and essential to you they may be, are still malleable to a degree. I see this thread very clearly as your attempt to, on the one hand come to terms with, but on the other hand also to negotiate your exact way of living as transfem, which would be impossible if femboy and transwoman were all just brain patterns along a malebrain/fembrain spectrum.