>>8178trans people aren't a monolith just by being trans, there exists solidarity amongst them over shared oppression and a large amount of overlapping experiences, but there is no one "trans experience" that you can attach yourself to. are cis men or cis women monoliths? obviously not. if you feel like you don't fit in with other trans people that you know, that is okay. there will be people there for you that may not even necessarily be trans, as long as they make you feel supported that is good.
now as for whether you are "actually trans," i think fixating on whether you need a label is more harmful than helpful, but i recognize that it is important to feel like you have a cohesive identity.
have you also thought about if you were potentially nonbinary? this would probably help you figure things out internally. you should also try thinking about how you would/if you want to/what steps you would take to realistically transition in the case that you are trans. you don't need to hate your body to be trans either, and your feelings on your body and how you feel about yourself will change over time if you pursue transition as well (you may realize that you were actually extremely uncomfortable pre transition and you just couldn't imagine what anything else would feel like!)