for context: i'm a boymoder, i've been on diy for a while now with great results so far. voice is my biggest source of dysphoria but i'm doing what i can to work on it. i pass to strangers, my voice passes depending on how i'm feeling. i'm not out to anyone though.
whereever i go, i feel strange. i've never talked to anyone about anything trans related. i've just quietly observed how people treat me, treat eachother and how they talk behind eachothers backs. there isn't a single person i've meet that's been understanding and honest.
people are either ignorant / straight up hateful or they will lie about everything. every so-called "ally" only sexualizes and fetishizes trans people.
>the few trans people i've met only ever sexualize themselves
>women will treat me like a fag (and sexualize me)
>specifically young lib / LGB women expect me to somehow like that and will have no problem outing me in front of random strangers, talk about how my appearance has changed since they've first met me, ask me at my workplace wether or not i am trans (in front of literally everybody…)
>old people will do their best to pretend i'm normal and just not even acknowledge the fact i have giant boobs (which is honestly sometimes preferable to the young women i've mentioned before, except when they loudly scream SIR NOTSODEADNAME a trillion times and out me to everyone)
>young men honestly seem the most welcoming, they just treat me like a normal human being (i only ever want to have real social interactions with men for that very reason), but of course you'll notice their porn-induced brain damage pretty quick.
not even the people offering trans care have a single clue.
i got my blood drawn a while ago at a place a lot of diying transhumanists go to get their labs. i could literally hear the staff make fun of me in another room while i was waiting.
right now, i am trying to find places near me to get laser hair removal done. so far i only ever found fake reviews, horrible tech, intransparent pricing and places that are too far away. luckily, there's a website that lists resources for trans people in that area. i check it, find a laser tech that's relatively cheap. they call themselves "lgbtq+ friendly" and are listed on this site made by and for trans people. surely they won't be weird or anything, right? i was trying to book an appointment online, but it didn't work, so i checked their website for an alternative contact method. instead, i found a seperate "transgender" page i didn't see at first. here are some of my favourite quotes:
>hair removal is a difficult step towards self-determination, especially for male transgenders.
>we support you on your difficult journey and understand the special needs of transgender men [they mean trans women if you didn't get that by now] regarding laser hair removal
>transgenders that want to become women often have thicker hair because of their manliness […]
the entire page also advertises beard and back to trans women ("male transgenders") while hair removal on arms, legs, etc. is targeted towards trans men ("transgender-women", as they call it) - they obviously treat people as their agab. the only difference here is that they say insurance may cover the costs and they put a focus on laser hair removal "undermining gender identity" and making "male transgenders" save time because they no longer have to shave.
i don't want laser hair removal to save time. i want laser hair removal because i literally want to rip my skin off my head.
up until i read that stupid page, i was really motivated to make an appointment and go take care of myself. i knew they, just like all the other cissies, would probably be weird. but now after reading that page i've just lost all hope.
the only people to ever help me are the people offering diy, who taught me everything i need to take care of myself without a cissoid doctor.
why can i not just have a single place where i can express myself without being sexualized, put in a labelled box, attacked, outed or having my needs ignored.
marxists talk a lot about alienation.
but what can a transhumanist do to combat this alienation?
sorry for the stupid rant. i'll go make that stupid fucking appointment now so i'll keep the skin attached to my body.
>>8616Please don't take this as a rude question but what is the problem with being sexualised? Isn't that kind of validating you as a woman?
>>8617while i do think it's interesting, it's also different in some ways.
this sort of sexualization often focuses on genitalia (and post-op trans women don't really exist in porn so people never think about that)
for example: when people call me a ladyboy, femboy, whatever, that's just a constant reminder that i'm stuck in a body i don't feel comfortable in.
i'd also say there is no "problem" with people sexualizing others, there's no problem with people being stupid, ignorant, whatever. i just:
- want these people to be radically honest, to tell me what they think, so i can avoid them or even talk to them and maybe change their mind. instead they'll lie to your face and play politically correct, then talk shit behind your back. i've noticed that pattern so many times and i think it's sad all the other transhumanists fall for it
- want to find other people that don't think that way, so i can freely associate with them instead