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File: 1682396838076.jpg (64.64 KB, 499x700, EE7J05nVUAAAS2z.jpg)

 No.399262[Last 50 Posts]

everyday a joke!

tune in tomorrow


I will not tune in tomorrow.
I do not want to laugh.


Guy joins a game jam. It lasts a month. He has no idea what to make, spends days trying to come up with fun ideas. There's a week left and he whips up a buggy mess of a game he knows is going to get torn apart. Morning comes, and he checks the reviews and analytics: not a single person played it! He breathes a sigh of relief.

tune in tomorrow



"Things will be different in the future!"
The man tosses his coat onto his exercise bike, turns on the TV, and begins to consume his popeyes bucket.
"Things will be different in the future!"
He sets another book on the shelf. It will never be opened again.
"Things will be different in the future!"
The boss calls, and for the first time, the man decides to go back to sleep.

tune in tomorrow


very cool


A woman is lost in the woods. She meets a hermit who warns her about a hunter who uses a bow to hunt people. The woman is cautious with her movements but eventually bumps into another woman lurking about.The other woman has no weapon so she asks for her name. When she tells her "Isabeau" the woman flees without looking back.

tune in tomorrow



The parents respected their child's right to privacy by searching their room when they weren't home.

tune in tomorrow


An elderly man returns a laptop he bought earlier in the day.
"What is the issue?" the manager asks.
"I didn't get any of my dedicated rams!" the old man replies.

tune in tomorrow


you couldve just sent them a terrorist threat hoping that theyd delay the game jam


You count: eight,eighteen,twenty eight,thirty eight…
Then you have to record your weight
Only to find nothing to height.

tune in tomorrow


i love you from the bottom of my heart. But that joked sucked. Bad


she fell asleep but the ground was soft

tune in tomorrow


he holds back a door flooding with shit waiting for the custodian in front of him to finish scrubbing the funny faces off the wall

tune in tomorrow


What sits in your house, let's you see the rest of the world, is symbolized by 4 panels, and lets others invade your privacy?

tune in tomorrow


i shit myself as a baby but wipe as an adult

tune in tomorrow


That's deep.




doday's joge:
me :DDDDDDDDdddd


File: 1683297757367.webm (448.29 KB, 480x360, tidus laugh.webm)


he baked a pizza for lunch and ate it for dinner

tune in tomorrow


Piracy: If you come across any illegal copies of our works in any form on the internet, we would be grateful if you would provide us with the location address or website name. Please contact us at [email protected] with a link to the material.

tune in tomorrow


Nice jokes.


mom bought a case of soda and told me to hide it in my room so she wouldn't drink it

tune in tomorrow


joined a fbi.gov server for goons but everyone was too horny to talk about somethingawful

tune in tomorrow


I love you OP


Getting my receipt checked at the store wastes too much of my time. That's why I started buying more items so it takes them longer.

tune in tomorrow


>wastes too much of my time
I think this would only make sense if it was just "wastes too much time"? Or else I don't get it.


Lets eat grandma.
Eat less grandma.

Now its grandma-less.

Tune in tomorrow
tune in tomo


He dropped the MMO after a few days. It was too boring for a single player experience.

tune in tomorrow


I open the door for a delivery. My neighbor's packages always end up at my house. I sign, and before I know it a bunch of guns are being pointed at me and I'm being arrested for soliciting drugs! They're not called FedEx for nothing.

tune in tomorrow


A woman's neighbor asks if she'll watch the walls in her house while she's away for an hour or two. The woman promises to watch, and her neighbor promises to be back soon. Right after her neighbor leaves, she takes a nap. It's not until sunrise that the neighbor comes back and the woman jumps awake to find the walls are gone.

tune in tomorrow


He's reading something on a website, gets near the end, and a pop up appears telling him to sign-up to continue. He closes the tab.

tune in tomorrow


I wanted my mom to get a new car for mother's day but she wasn't buying it.

tune in tomorrow


A guy walks into a bar and then staggers off afterwards

Another guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. His pants are ruined.

Yet another walks into a bar and sits on a stool. He orders corona.

He ends up dead within a week.

A guy walks into a bar, sits on a stool, amd orders corona.

He gets hammered in the head.
He ends up hospitalized.

Yet still, another walks into a bar, sits on a stool, orders corona, and gets hammered.

He sings Sweet Carolime by Neil Diamond.
But then he remembers, this was his favorite song he covered with his former boomer rock bamd.
He nails it.

It gets hospitalized for blunt force trauma.

(In reality, it suffered psychosomatic damage from that godawful oldfucker singing)


My morning hygiene ritual: deodorant, hair brushed and combed just right, nice smelling hair grease, expensive cologne, dirt removed from under the nails, and clothes fresh out the dryer. I walk into work and sit down. My coworker tells me to take a shower.

tune in tomorrow


A guy walks into a bar. It hurts.

tune in tomorrow


Where is today's joke?


A guy decides to go on a cross country trip with his wife. Along the way he runs out of gas and is stranded on the road. A truck driving by pulls over and asks him if he needs a ride. The guy hops in and recounts his journey. The truck driver is astounded by how happy the guy is, but he wonders where his wife is and decides to ask him. The guy says she's back there in the plane wreckage.

tune in tomorrow


This is just sad.


A woman is thinking of something amusing to say but can't think of anything. She falls asleep and has a dream where she's tired and thinking of something amusing to say but can't think of anything. She falls asleep and has a dream where she's tired and thinking of

tune in tomorrow


A guy goes to the walmart to shop. He loads up the cart with bananas only. He checks them all out, but the cashier gives him a weird look and tells him the total. He pays but comes back to return them the next day. Customer service tells him they cant restock fresh produce. He tells them its not fresh anymore, and pulls them out of his ass one by one

tune in tomorrow


A monk dedicates his life to asceticism. A hot girl passes him by. He masturbates in his next life.

tune in tomorrow


a chicken crosses the road, but the egg was already there first

tune in tomorrow.


a baby is hungry so his mom offers her tits for him to suckle. an hour later she realizes her breasts are still full. the boy grows up to be a pervert.

tune in tomorrow


Guy is broke and wants money. He sees a book at the store titled "Amassing Wealth Fast" and buys it. When he gets home he opens the book only to find each page says the same thing: "Get people to buy a book about how to become rich quick."

tune in tomorrow


I masturbate to pov videos of sucking off futas and femboys.
Tune in tomorrow


A mare, Icka.

tune in tomorrow


One person wanted pepperoni on their pizza. One person wanted only cheese on their pizza. The two couldn't agree on how. God saw this ordeal and decided in good fairness that there was only one solution: one would get the cheese off the pizza, and the other would get the sauce and crust with pepperoni.

tune in tomorrow


He asked me if I knew how to code. I told him I was a little rusty. He said the proper terms was "rustacean".

tune in tomorrow



Some of the most prolific fanfic writers in their community hadn't even read the source material their stories were based on.

tune in tomorrow


where's the cap


i spent several hours trying to do 2 leetcode problems that were medium and easy and couldn't figure out neither!

tune in tomorrow


You should've ended it at "little rusty"

Hell yeah


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A woman becomes certified in using sheep devices. She tries applying for jobs but they all want 5 years of sheep device usage. The woman tells her father her problems:
"You must work for free in the sheep devices, daughter."
"Father, sheep devices were invented last year!"

tune in tomorrow


A man argues with his boss over how he runs the restaurant. The boss assures him his job is simple and can be done by anyone. The man asks his boss: "If you and your coworkers have to deliver to different places at a specific time, but find that the things he was supposed to deliver are in your car and your stuff is in his what do you do?" The boss confidently answers he would swap the deliverable items between the two. The man concedes, and as he gets back to work mentions he'd just ask his coworker to switch cars.

tune in tomorrow


"Hahaha, oh fuck, man you gotta realize that having an existential
crisis isn't realizing everything's meaningless: it's realizing you're
unable to give anything meaning." said Connor.

tune in tomorrow


Woman spends several hours drawing a picture of her friend. The day after she shows it to her friend and the friend laughs and asks her how quick it took her to draw something so bad.

tune in tomorrow


*badum tss*


*seinfeld bass*


*yakety sax*


He said he was into me and I told him to get out of me!

tune in tomorrow


*guitar riff*
"Go on a diet you fat bitch"
"What am I, a bitch uygha? Buy your own damn fries"


This girl I liked asked me if I was into Succession. I was pretty ecstatic she mentioned something I knew about. It's an old and simple card game that I didn't like much but I only spoke in positive and neutral terms about it to not come off as a pedantic ass. She had to go in the middle of me talking but it was nice to find common ground. I'll definitely strike up a convo with her about StarRealms when I get the chance.

tune in tomorrow


yay :D


Battles passes are just there to make you play a game longer and inflate the average player count. That's why I just buy them and don't play the game at all.

tune in tomorrow


My teacher asked me "Where is in the uh?" and said I wasn't paying attention even though he never said the place's name.

tune in tomorrow


A break light on his car went out and he told himself he'd get it fixed when he had the money. The light for an oil change came on and he told himself he'd get it fixed when he had the money. There was a power steering fluid leak and he told himself he'd get it fixed when he had the money. Eventually, he gets the money he needs and takes it to the repair shop. The mechanic tells him the repair will cost $800 but the man tells him that all three of those things only costs $300. The mechanic, now realizing the situation, informs him that he was only talking about fixing his breaks and that the total repair cost is now $1100.

tune in tomorrow


Boy comes home from school. Mom went to a housewarming party and didn't cook. Boy doesn't make anything so he can eat all the fast food she brings home. The car comes up in the driveway. He opens the door for his mom, and she asks him if he ate the frozen pizza in the freezer.

tune in tomorrow


Guy wants to watch a new action movie. He goes to torrent but doesn't bother checking the files this time. This uploader was always reliable. After it's finished, the command prompt window briefly flashes on his screen and a message appears telling him to pay or his files will be encrypted. He wakes up to his mother telling him his car just got repo'd, and he's relieved his computer is fine.

tune in tomorrow


i hate recursive acronyms you never stop saying them

tune in tomorrow


A woman wanted to learn how to draw and bought a book to learn. After spending a month reading through it she was finally ready to pick up a pencil.

tune in tomorrow


File: 1686032006766.jpg (90.74 KB, 723x691, 1460874889774.jpg)


He said he took a shit. I hope he washed his hands.

tune in tomorrow


I told my friend the average was ~34.5 units in our fbi.gov server. He said to stop typing like a woman.

tune in tomorrow




This girl I liked asked me if I was into Succession. I felt embarrassed and told her I was saving myself for marriage, even when it comes to oral sex.


Fair and square? Yakub and cube.

tune in tomorrow


(From a bygone thread I made in the far gone past of a few months ago. Found in a random txt file.)

We were having coffee at the local cafe in Frankton. It was just us touching base on how the investigation was going, but secretly I wished it was more than that. As Vella and I waited in line for our orders to be taken, a man in military paraphernalia came in. His graying hair was cut short, and his eyes all but said 'I've seen enough, but I can't stop.' He moved to the back of the line and a stout man and his family at the very front beckoned him to take their spot while telling the woman at the register to prioritize his order first. It was early in the morning so it was mainly the elderly who were in the cafe. The Bobs, Gertrudes all smiled and nodded at the act of selflessness and kindness that man had shown towards someone who defended our country, and by extension, our freedoms.

"They can't be serious," Vella mumbled.

I was taken aback and nervously looked around to make sure no one had heard her. We only had to wait a few minutes longer. I couldn't believe Vella was this selfish over coffee.

"It's just going to be a few minutes. It's not a big deal," I said back to her.

"It's not about the wait time, Alex. They're acting like he's some messiah because he was in the military!"

The old man in front of us gave us a glance and shook his head. I was going to drop it in hopes Vella would stop talking, and she did, but I couldn't help myself.

"He did something most people wouldn't. To defend our rights to be able to be here and have this conversation in this cafe without having to worry about terrorists blowing us up."

Vella always had a natural scowl for an expression, but I knew when her general discontent began to arouse into genuine anger.

"You spend all day on ONISM reading stupid conspiracies about the government trying to control us through tap water but genuinely believe they're protecting you when they blow up children's hospitals overseas—"

"How the FUCK do you not offer a veteran's discount?"

Vella and I were so lost in our exchange of words that we failed to notice the scene at the register unfolding the entire time, and I failed to notice the gun at the man's hip while lost in the awe of his presence. Vella and I both looked at one another and left the cafe without a word. Several minutes later we heard a single gunshot and the cries of people behind us. It made me feel bad to just walk out and escape a chance at death with only seconds to spare like that.

I was glued to my TV until the story ran at 8 and breathed a sigh of relief. The only person harmed after we'd left was the veteran himself.

tune in tomorrow


I was excited to join a club for nobody, but when I came to the next meeting there wasn't a single person there.

tune in tomorrow


Thx for joeks


"It's getting harder to come up with these."
"Just get more material to draw on."
"But I don't have anything to write down!"

tune in tomorrow


He kept messing up his inputs in fighting games and decided he needed a new controller that the pros use. He orders it for $250 and does even worse than his old controller.

tune in tomorrow


It was an awful game. The design decisions made no since, what had to be done wasn't clear, the controls were off, and the boss felt unfinished. I did manage to beat it and found the difficulty encapsulates the setting and themes, everything from the levels to the enemies were crafted immaculately, and it's sure to stand up there with the greats in due time.

tune in tomorrow


My 10 year old niece asked me if all the still sealed games on my shelf were collectors items. I informed her that was just my backlog.

tune in tomorrow


The best things come in threes, sadly this sentence is longer than 3 words.

tune in tomorrow


HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!


My friend needed me to write a rap song for him but I was behind bars.

tune in tomorrow


HA >>419403 HA


I walk into the kitchen and there's a fly. I sit there, wait for it to land, and swat it. I'm about to pour a cup of juice when another lands on the counter. Same deal. I get the juice out of the fridge and ANOTHER land on the wall by the trash can. Repeat. This went on for almost 20 minutes until I was sure I'd gotten the last of them. I take my cup of juice to my computer desk and a fly lands on my monitor.

tune in tomorrow


🦟 >>419682 🦟


"Things will be different today" she tells herself before losing hours to twitter scrolling.

tune in tomorrow


🐤 >>419927 🐤


I CAN'T WAIT for tomorrow's joke


Subverted my expectation.


Climate change is a term used to describe the steadily increasing global temperature
of the Earth due to a variety of factors such as fossil fuels, greenhouse gases, deforestation, and more. While climate change has been discussed among scientists since the 19th century it has only been relatively recently that the issue is now at the forefront of an ecological crisis. Climate change has been criticized, largely by conservatives, for falsely attributing the phenomena to humans or its existence outright denied entirely. Center-right neoliberals who consider themselves to be progressive propose a shift towards personal responsibility such as: using paper straws, using less water, etc along with a focus towards renewable energies solar and wind.

Climate activists have claimed that if nothing is done about climate change the consequences will be dire and not far off from our current time. The ocean levels rising and desertification will cause the largest migrations in human history along with massive extinction of plants and animals. Natural
disasters will become more common and far more powerful than ever perceived. The cost
of living will skyrocket as resources become more scarce. This is similar to how the endbringer Leviathan from Worm was able to use its powers and raise the water levels around Newfoundland and several east asian countries causing them to sink entirely. This lead to many refugees being forced from their homes, many of which had to seek asylum in America. Brockton Bay, home of the protagonist Taylor Hebert and where most of Worm takes place, is home to many gangs and one of those gangs is the ABB: The Azn Bad Boys lead by its leader Lung and his lieutenants Bakuda and Oni Lee. The gang is one of the major antagonists for Taylor and her gang The Undersiders for the early parts of Worm along with Empire 88, a gang of superpowered neonazis, and the hero group The Wards. Taylor Hebert is a teenage girl who, after a traumatic bullying incident at school, gains the power to control and perceive things through insects. She has the intentions of becoming a hero, but has an encounter with a villain from The Undersiders named Tattletale who

tune in tomorrow


I can't stand trees. They're all bark no bite.

tune in tomorrow


You can put a zero behind anything to make its value go up. Find worthless people to follow you.

tune in tomorrow


On shelf: Das Kapital, never read.

tune in tomorrow


i want you to sit on me

tune in tomorrow


>>420172 10/10
>>420466 10/10
>>420752 10/10
>>420968 99/10
>>421131 10/10


he'd installed more linux distros than people using linux

tune in tomorrow


She had no motivation to write a short story for the contest she entered until the week submissions were due.

tune in tomorrow


the dog licked an ice cream cone but it turns out that the ice cream was rotten and the dog got food poisoning

tune in 3 seconds


the cat tried to sleep on a bed it found but then found out there were bugs all over it that were poisonous, causing it to die of wounds

tune in 3 seconds


the mouse tried to eat a piece of cheese only to realize it had been tricked into eating a toxic chemical which killed it in seconds

tune in tomorrow


This sounds like a shitty tom and jerry creepy pasta


I went to meet Patty, and caught her in a whopper of a lie. Jerry was having a real big mac attack and gave her a quarter-pound of beef to whip up for me after work. I come over to get it and she says she forgot while there's an empty plate at her dinner table and an open box of hamburger helper! I had to tell Jerry the idea was just a nothingburger.

tune in tomorrow


Friend asked me if I ever listened to Dustland Fairytale. I told him it's the reason I don't eat at Cracker barrel.

tune in tomorrow


He stumbled upon an old japanese ps1 game no one had heard of, only to find a video essayist made a video about it already.

tune in tomorrow


She stumbled upon an old video essay no one has heard of, only to find that a 10 hour video essay critiquing it has already been made about it.

tuna in tomorrow


He was a writer for a satirical news site that didn't bother writing anything beyond the headline. He was fired when an old man who thought he was reading actual news reported it was blank.

tune in tomorrow


People always say I'm tall until I come up short at the register.

tune in tomorrow


i always somehow end up here as the page arrives at the frontpage


Learn C#? I just blow into my instrument until the tone's right.

tune in tomorrow


ah ha ha ha… good one…


dr penistalki


I got sick of these cookies making me fat until I found out this trick: If I eat half of the serving size I don't get bigger.

tune in tomorrow


Free Lossless Audio Codec. My favorite albums never sounded better. I was ecstatic when I discovered FLAC, until my friend pointed out that my headphones were too bad to actually hear the difference from mp3.

tune in tomorrow


On this day, we set off fireworks near the homeless veteran's shelter to show them just how thankful we are for their service.

tune in tomorrow


It's a house, not an essay. It doesn't need a "c".

tune in tomorrow


tough crowd


its not tough its soft and squishy like putty


I hate editing books, there's too much revisionism.

tune in tomorrow


I'd just like to say that a great many of these have brought a smile to my face


My mom likes to frame pictures. The police haven't caught on yet.

tune in tomorrow


You want to pirate games on your 3ds. They make you install an app called "fbi" that installs ".cia" files.

tune in tomorrow


I love this thread, keep it up joke man


She spends hours everyday breaking every cipher, looking at every frame, and observing the waveform of the audio. Everyone wanted to know the secret behind the ARG. She uncovers the final secret: a link, to the official website of a film studio.

tune in tomorrow.


I didn't forget to post today's joke, just the punchline.

tune in tomorrow


I didn't forget to post today's punchline, just the "tune in tomorrow".


Night Mind?
Is that you?


The worst part about watching kids is all the bleating.

tune in tomorrow


He can't keep getting away with this


"I dead ass didn't know Ice Spice was a rapper and not something you order at Starbucks 😭😭😭😭😭"
30k retweets 460 quote retweets 62k likes 12 bookmarks

tune in tomorrow


On one wing, the leftists want to increase the age of consent to 24; while on the other wing, the rightists want to abolish the age of consent.
Naturally as a centrist: the answer was in the middle; 12.

tune in tomorrow





My grandfather was asked: "why do you aim with one eye open?" in the military. He answered: "couldn't see anything if I closed both."
Protip, you can prevent this by putting the can/bottle/etc. on a table and spinning it around itself. Don't know how it works but it makes it not explode.


>Don't know how it works but it makes it not explode.
think it makes any suspended bubbles go to the top so that just gas escapes when you open it. tapping the top sharply for 30 secs works too.


I forgot about my loans. They're delinquent now, so I think the lender did too.

tune in tomorrow


The youth watch tiktok on their tablets and phones. I watch it on the clock.

tune in tomorrow


so like on your apple watch?


She hated going to the bathroom during movies, so she bought a large soda and never drank it.

tune in tomorrow


A cop saw a man with a gun to his head and shot him. His corpse was tried for attempted suicide.

tune in tomorrow


Up north they call klan rallies "police unions"

tune in tomorrow


She spent all her time online shitting on her favorite webcomic in hopes that it wouldn't become popular.

tune in tomorrow


Raw men? I'd prefer them cooked.

tune in in tomorrow


Why can't you ask a TV about the future? Because they never tell a vision.

tune in tomorrow


A man hired someone to kill him if he didn't follow through with his plans. Later, he decided to call off the assassin. His corpse was found on a riverbank.

tune in tomorrow




You plucked it out the ground; you gotta pick, man- my neck lurches by some force. The ground is soft but the sky is harsh. Pain pulps my mind, and he hits me again with the same rock. I'm plucked out of the ground and told to help carry the body.

tune in tomorrow


how to assert authority over child
how to assert authority over child reddit

tune in tomorrow


I don't get it


It took him 20 minutes to find the perfect podcast to eat breakfast to and 5 minutes to finish eating.

tune in tomorrow (in the proper thread!)


A man watches TV when his wife bursts through the front door in terror and tells him she saw a snake outside. He asks if it bit her, and she says no. The man, confused, asks why now is she terrified of snakes when she wasn't scared of them before. She tells him that this time she finished the apple.

tune in tomorrow


A few days ago, I was walking down the street, and you know who I saw?
That's right, Ronald Reagan!
When I spotted him, I decided to walk up to him, and give him a piece of my mind.
>Hey Ronald Reagan – between your disastrous economic policies, to you selling crack to black people – there's no shortage of disastrous to look at that YOU caused!
>You know, Ronald Reagan, you're a real piece of shit!
Reagan turns to me
<Well, you are what you eat!

toon in tomorrow


Aliens exist, they're real. We have their technology and if we reverse engineer it we would be unstoppable. That's why the newly created Space Force needs more funding to protect our planet from these potential extraterrestrial threats.

tune in tomorrow


I need a new clock to wake up for work, since I broke the old one for waking me up early.

tune in tomorrow


File: 1690551091405.jpg (19.12 KB, 474x297, th-3212624030.jpg)



Russia is actually socialist

Tune in tommorrow!


Like I said, He's not in it to restrict anyone's rights. He just wants to limit what people can do.

tune in tomorrow


File: 1690646305119.png (2.33 MB, 1000x1500, SisyphusOnStrike[1].png)


Today has been a wild day!
I just looked out my window, and there was a wife beating going on!!
AND in open daylight!!!
Thank goodness, after a few minutes, it finally stopped raining…

🎶 in 🌄


"What do you call a lone light in the sky? A roguelite. The light beside it? A roguelike!"

The audience cackles.

"She told me to write a book about it. I told her Stephen King already did!"

The audience jeers. The main raises a hand. They quiet down.

"Doctor wanted me to take a blood test. I told him you're the one with the medical degree!"

He's meet with whoops and hollers. The applause is so great the theater rumbles as if brought to life.

"That's all for tonight. Tune in tomorrow!"


There was a woman excited to play Pokemon Sleep. Her sleep schedule was awful so she barely got to play the game.

tune in tomorrow


You can set up a joke and just ignore the punchline. Imagine a guy describing someone who pissed him off and when he's finally done he expects the audience to roar in laughter. There's no joke. It's just him making up someone to get mad about.

tune in tomorrow


Guy has a dedicated streaming computer to ensure no one sees the porn mods, forgets to turn off cloud sync.

tune in tomorrow


I just hit a mother and her baby with my 2000 Honda civic.
I can not afford to go to jail, so I have ran over their heads, and have driven away.

Tune in tomorrow.


If you can't remember your dreams just write them down.

tune in tomorrow


A keyblade can open up any path, except the one to my success.

tune in tomorrow


I'm on the verge of jumping.

do not tune in tomorrow


Don't do it, we are enjoying your jokes.



She read the books everyone recommended, solved as many project euler and hackerrank problems she could, took the time to do projects, and she finally walks into the interview:

"What's the difference between an abstract class and an interface?"

She melts into the floor.

tune in tomorrow


An abstract class is used for creating other objects.
Objects made from the class can inherit the abstract classes functions, which also can have code; and variables, which also can be pre-defined.
These inherits can not only be used like a interface in blueprinting a class; but also classes made from the abstract class can have their own instance of the function/variable, which can allow you to implement a default variable in the abstract class, and have it overwritten in an another class, (it does become bitchy if you try to pass values to the abstract class method).

An interference is the blueprints of the class file.
It can be used to design the class so you don't forget to include functions and variables.

The best way to remember eachs' limitations is that you can implement as many interfaces as you want to a class, but you can only extend one abstract class to another class.

Or alternatively:
You use interfaces to remember what to include when building a queue class;
But you use a abstract class for when you need a generic shape object, which can be used to make a square class, which has a perimeter method that's non-unique to other shapes, or it initializing with a shared default color that can be changed later.

tune in tomorrow

The joke is that I have wasted my day, so I wrote that whole comment to feel "productive"
And also I suck dick, but I'm still straight!


"Runescape is so boring" - the guy watching part 24 of a runescape tile challenge

tune in tomorrow


Guy asks me what time it is. I tell him it's eight o'clock. He says digesting that must hurt.

tune in tomorrow


Is this a pun? I don't get it.


How can he be racist if he lets black people into his prisons?

tune in tomorrow


A man is walking through his home when a feeling of dread overtakes him. His chest is pounding; he begins to sweat. He whips out his phone and googles his symptoms and breathes a deep sigh of relief. It was only a panic attack and he almost got billed for an unnecessary trip to the hospital.

tune in tomorrow


He woke up to find his friend holding a net near him.
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to catch some Zs"

tune in tomorrow


A drunk man wanders down an alley. A robber comes up behind him and puts a gun to his back, telling the drunk to give up his money. The drunk tells him he spent all of his money on booze. The robber calls him a worthless leech on society and walks away empty-handed.

tune in tomorrow


He was ready to throw away his old clothes to make space. Inside his drawer is nothing but new clothes.

tune in tomorrow


She hit send on the job application and began studying the company and its interviewing process. The bot in charge of analyzing her resume dumped it in the 0.00015 seconds it took to look at it.

tune in tomorrow


She wasn't sure if she wanted water or a soda to drink. Eventually, she settled on sprite. When she took a sip it tasted like water.

tune in tomorrow


She made reservations, waited hours in line, looked over the menu, and decided on her meal at the finest restaurant in town: a hamburger with a side of fries.

tune in tomorrow


Many say my wife has no purpose, I disagree!
For one, she's a great stress reliever.
Not only through sex, but also through fists!

tune in tomorrow

Also if you find that offensive, it's a JOKE OKAY. Sometimes comedy is alittle offensive, and also meaningless, so don't take it seriously.
Oh also, don't make jokes about hitting men. Abuse is not a joke, and despite what the woke communist snow flame blue feminists say, misandry is not cool.
And if you make a men abuse joke, I WILL report you to the mods.
Look to make it easier, I'll explain why – and lucky you I'm a comedian with ALOT OF BOOKINGS, we comedians are basically modern day philosophers – there's being offensive, and then there's going TOO far.
Alright, so yeah, let's be adults about this, and not have anyone's feelings hurt.


"It's called being "homeless" not because they lack a house but the means to actually own one. The government owns your home and the property it's on, are most of us not "homeless?" Notice how the opposite of "homeless" is not "homeful." This is why we need stronger private property rights to avoid communist tyranny."

He unpauses the podcast and brews up another argument as he listens.

tune in tomorrow


The Plastic View has everyone talking about it online. A true celebration of cinema as a medium. I was at the theater 2 hours before it opened to make sure I could be the first to get tickets. I went in, paid $30 for a drink and popcorn. Now the tickets-

"Sir, this movie is only available on streaming."

tune in tomorrow


His friend put on a song. The song had been building up for several minutes.
"Man this post rock song's about to be insane"
"Post rock? We're listening to the guilty gear strive ost"

tune in tomorrow


"Why haven't you opened the door?"
"It seems kinda unhinged."

tune in tomorrow


Pantomime class is such a ripoff, not a single mime in there was tired.

tune in tomorrow


Request: Can you do a pun related to guns?


Not OP but I can give it a shot.


Go ahead.


If you haven't shot a gun with your eyes closed, you don't know what you're missing.


Hohoho clever.


but if you've never fired a gun with your eyes closed, you would know what you're missing. because you can see. what you're missing. because your eyes aren't closed.




He wanted to show his coworker a cool video. An ad for a gacha game played. That was the last day he came to work.

tune in tomorrow


I open up the sex and relationships thread and type: "Women love to see manslaughter, but they never want to hear man's laughter."

tune in tomorrow


He was tired of being fat and was determined to lose weight. The phone rings. His friend asks him if he wants some pizza.

tune in tomorrow


Oh boy, I sure do hope the man still tries to lose weight in the next joke!


Guy gets to the highest rank in CSGO. Friends ensure him that it's a fluke and he's not good at the game.

tune in tomorrow


Interesting, I didn't know the diet man played cs go.
How long until the cliff hanger in the previous will be covered?


literally me


why did the chicken cross the road?

tune in tomorrow,


Barak Hussein 'Barry' Obama Mohammed Soetoro


But what about the guy going to the gym???!???
Does the chicken take part in the story????????


He was on his exercise bike while watching anime. He was enjoying the show, until he realized the catgirls had four ears.

tune in tomorrow


He sees sunlight for the first time in ages. It's bright. Too bright. He goes back inside.

tune in tomorrow


He goes back into the gym?????????


>Boy wants a car from his dad
>Dad says, "First, you got to cut that hair"
>Boy says, "Hey, Dad, Jesus had long hair"
>And Dad says, "That's right, son, Jesus walked everywhere"


Two men were arguing. One was ready to throw a punch, but the other burped in his face making him nauseous. A woman walks up to him asking how he knew to do that. The man replies: "It's just acid reflex."

tune in tomorrow


It's nice to see that despite going to the gym, the mans body rejected violence.
(I'm assuming that's him, it's not very clear).


She was talking with her friends on fbi.gov about how the DOM was making her lose her mind last night. Her mother overheard and started praying.

tune in tomorrow


"Dime, Dice, Dirt. What do these words all have in common?"
"They start with Di!"

tune in tomorrow


Yesterday, I almost tripped while walking up to the front of spanish class and shouted: "Yo soy embarazada!" Before reading my essay.

tune in tomorrow


rabid, euthanize


"Wow, this game is amazing." He never played it again.

tune in tomorrow


A book club? I'm sure it'd hurt regardless.

tune in tomorrow


Be tender? There's only one of me!

tune in tomorrow


What do you call a man that rescues people from a boat? A he row!

tune in tomorrow



You're pro-grammer. Tell me where to comma goes!

tune in tomorrow



Guy walks into a Hospital, sees a bunch of pregnant women:
"Forgot it was labor day!"

tune in tomorrow


Stealing OP's thunder.

When does a regular joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent. Tune in tomorrow!


HOA said my grass was too high but they don't know about the ones I'm growing in the basement.

tune in tomorrow


Your thread? Yeah, I reddit.

tune in tomorrow


I'm never paying off your debt because I'm always alone.

tune in tomorrow


"Do you need closure for this?"
"It's life, not javascript."

tune in tomorrow


She asked if anyone could hear her in the group chat and was pissed no one said anything.

tune in tomorrow


I was proud to have finally gotten a steamdeck. I could finally play all the games in my library my PC couldn't. I booted up Pokemon LeafGreen from emudeck.

tune in tomorrow


Isn't closure some math thing?


it's a computer science concept as well. Javascript has closures because it's a dialect of lisp.


He took a shit before noticing the toilet paper roll was empty.

tune in tomorrow


We decided to reject Unity and stop waiting for Godot.

tune in tomorrow


This website's userbase is actually mostly right-handed.

tune in tomorrow


We can make pancakes in skillets but you choose to believe in science.

tune in tomorrow


Where does a law student go after they drop out? The bar.

tune in tomorrow


Two men get into an argument and agree to meet tomorrow to fight. One man comes, and at the time the fight starts a duck flies down. The other man never comes. "I can't believe he ducked me."

tune in tomorrow


Woman who felt like she just aced an interview forgot the email she applied with is the same one she uses for social media.

tune in tomorrow


If it's corny, then you better bring me a bowl.

tune in tomorrow


I wanted the story to get meta, so I had the main character look at the viewer and say they never meta bitch who loved them.

tune in tomorrow


She told me her name was Alisse, and I said "I'd sign you in a heartbeat!"

tune in tomorrow


I'm overdue on my cellphone bill. I can't play a game of telephone right now.

tune in tomorrow


He wanted a second date, so I plucked another off the tree.

tune in tomorrow


File: 1695497954926.jpeg (98.52 KB, 960x866, 378c7480e78ba6d0.jpeg)


Today was daylights savings time. The sun finally had enough in its account to send its children to college.

tune in tomorrow


"The south will rise!"
"Then it'd just be the north"

tune in tomorrow


North is not upwards.


I used to be named Dave King. I went through 30 packs of cigs in one day, and decided to change my first name to Smo.

tune in tomorrow


Joke is the last word of the daily joke.

tune in tomorrow


Joke is the first word of the daily joke.

tune in yesterday


No sales? Well, I'll sail out of here!

tune in tomorrow


It's not a McMansion. It's a White Castle.

tune in tomorrow


nice thread, keep it up


They found him chopped up in a garbage bag. May he rest in piece.

tune in tomorrow


He was a super hero fan for many years. He saw all the movies and bought the merch. One day someone asked him his favorite run of a character. He couldn't answer.

tune in tomorrow


"Did you have it?"
I showed her the 2 slices down the middle.

tune in tomorrow


After a hard day of cleaning she finally got to sit down. A tone from her phone played and she looked outside to see a croc on her porch.

"Oh no, I crocodile'd!"

tune in tomorrow


ʍoɹɹʍɐɯoʇ uᴉ ǝunʇ

,,¡p,ǝlᴉpoɔoɹɔ ᴉ 'ou ɥo,,

˙ɥɔɹʍɐd ɥɐɥ uo ɔoɹɔ ɐ ǝǝs ɐʇ ǝpᴉsʇno pǝʞool ǝɥs u, pǝʎɐld ǝuoɥd ɥɐɥ ɯoɹɟ ǝuoʇ ∀ ˙uʍop ʇᴉs ɐʇ ʇoƃ ʎllɐuᴉɟ ǝɥs ,uᴉuɐǝlɔ ɟo ʎɐp pɹɥɐ, ɐ ɹǝpɟ∀


I put a bet on C4, when the roulette hit it I exploded.

tune in tomorrow


What do I think of Gen V? I'm really mixed on it. I like how it put its new pokemon at the forefront compared to older ones until you beat the game, kinda the opposite to the original gen 2 games in that regard where you saw more kanto mons than johto ones most of the time. The story itself in B/W had potential but I didn't like how- you were talking about an amazon show?

tune in tomorrow


Spell icup


Tune in whenever btw


In dependent is now independent.

tune in tomorrow


The god from the cosmos reminiscent of a pharoah: Nyarlahotep.

tune in tomorrow


You stopped talking to him because he's a commie that likes podcasts? Talk about a red scare.

tune in tomorrow


Man who can't do anything right turns left into a tree.

tune in tomorrow


The game was almost lost. One more strike and our team went home. A guy steps up to the plate. The other team shouts and asks him who he is: "I'm bat man."

tune in tomorrow


zoomer prometheus: yo that shit is fire


The plant's stalk that rises high above and rules them all: the stemlord.

tune in tomorrow


Yeah I leftcom, just ask your mom.

tune in tomorrow


A fat man goes inside a burger king. The cashier is 20 pounds heavier than him. All he can think is what a worthless piece of shit they are while ordering a 5k calorie meal.

tune in tomorrow


Play Vampire Savior? Sorry, the only fighting game I ever liked was Darkstalkers.

tune in tomorrow


They told me I had a lawsuit coming. I told him I already have a few in my closet.

tune in tomorrow


keep up the good work


My chicken roommate pours the last bit of juice and leaves the empty carton in the fridge, fowl.

tune in tomorrow


I pointed to the potted fern in his music studio. "You're telling me you don't have industry plants?"

tune in tomorrow


Boy's mother screams for him in bloody murder. He runs to see what happened. She tells him to get the remote on the TV stand.

tune in tomorrow


I ate at an Italian restaurant and ordered pasta. The way the noodles were arranged made it look like a weird face so I sent a picture of it to my friend with "Look at this creepy pasta!" She told me to kill myself.

tune in tomorrow


I'm planning on passing down my jeans when I have a kid.

tune in tomorrow


"Who's rowing the boat again?"

tune in tomorrow


File: 1697901492318.jpg (87.92 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)

>Talking to girl
>She's Chinese
Hehe, you know what that means right?
Chinese parents

Thanks for coming to my Ethnic studies 101 class.


What music does a homophobe like to listen to? Shoegaze!

tune in tomorrow


>6 months, and finally we know why it's called, TUNE in tomorrow
Best payoff of all time


He fired his gun into the air. When it came down it broke.

tune in tomorrow


Sir, I want to send my soldiers to aid you, but your location Isn'treal.

tune in tomorrow


"I read about him dying on the news. He went out in a pathetic way."
"That's why it's called an obituary."

tune in tomorrow


Guy gets a new vacuum. He glides it over the carpet and the dirt vanishes.
"This thing sucks!"

tune in tomorrow


My friend kept beating me at air hockey and I shouted to her: "You're streaking!" Every guy in the room turned their head and got upset.

tune in tomorrow


Why would I watch bleach? It's for washing clothes.

tune in tomorrow


We sailed out on the ocean so we could sea water.

tune in tomorrow


She asked me if I liked nougat, and I let her know how I feel about it and .NET as a platform.

tune in tomorrow


holy shit dude what the fuck


so how do you feel about nougat when compared to, like, maven or npm


NTA but nuget is fine. In general C# is a pleasant language and it's a fine language to build system programs with. I personally hate maven and npm. The first for its shit language and the second for how shit it works and how obtuse the CLI is to use.


She was going on about the drama in her group chat and I kept going "yep that's some fbi.gov"

tune in tomorrow


Guy works out steadily and loses several pounds. He's still fat but is proud of his progress. While shopping, a man glances at him: "Lose weight, lard ass."

tune in tomorrow


This new gacha I tried out has such a fair and forgiving way to play
without spending money. You sign an agreement for a certain amount
of the premium currency and the game gives it to you as long as you pay for it in the future, and in love of fairness, the payment is adjusted to the current value of the currency. What a steal!

tune in tomorrow


Finally it was NaNoWriMo, and she had her story planned and word count quotas set. She was going to start any day now.

tune in tomorrow


He hated race-mixing so much he posted videos from his blacked folder to show everyone how disgusting it was.

tune in tomorrow


I only spray the bathroom after I poop when there's company over. The back of the toilet's been getting pretty crowded since I last shopped.

tune in tomorrow


"My girlfriend fell down a large crack."
"Will you better fissure out!"

tune in tomorrow


"How was your flight?"

tune in tomorrow


I told her to take a NAP but she already had a copy.

tune in tomorrow


Guy gets idea for something big. He thinks about in detail, all the steps he'd have to undergo. After planning it all out he's satisfied just thinking about it.

tune in tomorrow


She waited years and finally got a great deal on the cellphone she wanted. The next day the announced a new model.

tune in tomorrow


this is fairly normal, old phone inventory gets liquidated when a new model is about to get announced, and that's how i got my flip z4 at 700 dollars. i don't mind it being the previous model at all.


She finally made a friend after being alone for so long and invited her over to play Smash. She turned the console on and realized she only had one controller.

tune in tomorrow


I asked my dad what to do about this annoying woman at the bus stop. He said to eraser.

tune in tomorrow


The 2nd day of the week? Twosday.

tune in tomorrow


We're proud to announce you will soon be able to sideload apps on phones as long as we approve of them.

tune in tomorrow


It's a disappointing day to be a conservative content creator. My documentary titled "TransFormers" seemed to upset a lot of people expecting something different.

tune in tomorrow


He had been writing everything down for years and finally he could smile. The worldbuilding for his planned 10 part epic fantasy series was finished, and he was ready to begin book 1.

tune in tomorrow (in the right thread)



The eternal chinletjak


My dad keeps saying "the rooftop" and all I can think is where else would it be?

tune in tomorrow


File: 1700245695266.png (218.09 KB, 435x561, 1699522027332.png)

>me spending a few hours on a engineering problem only to realize I fucked up on the first step and I wasted hours of my life.

tune in tomorrow


I feel sorry for Liness. They're always stuck behind, lone.

tune in tomorrow


How to improve your game? Hunt bigger deer.

tune in tomorrow


I have a debate against this guy who wrote a few books on politics and stuff. I wasn't reading any of his shit so I listened to a video essay about him to prep.

tune in tomorrow


He called himself a monarchist and I knew he was into kingdom.

tune in tomorrow


I think she thinks she got probed or something, won't stop talking about feeling "alienated"

tune in tomorrow


I'm still waiting for this 5 letter noun to do actual giving.

tune in tomorrow


What do you need when you find her acting crazy? Sanitize her.

tune in tomorrow


People keep talking about chan but they'll never tell you what's for chan!

tune in tomorrow


Wish I got a dreamcast when I was younger. Climate change's killing the big fish now.

tune in tomorrow


When I press pgup I want the terminal to show what was in the terminal one terminal's length before now, not pull up whatever command I was there 20 previously.

Tune in tomorrow.


"What did the bee do to her?"

tune in tomorrow


Guy's sister asks him if he remembers what today is. He makes an excuses to go into his room to find her a present in panic, and gives it to her while saying happy birthday. She rejects it and calls him an idiot. He remarks: "Christmas Eve, you're a terrible sister."

tune in tomorrow


What do you call something that is neither a pea nor a nut? A peanut.

tune in tomorrow


You'll never meet a liens if you never get into debt.

tune in tomorrow


She went to the fan meetup and was relieved that she wasn't the only one who forgot to bring a fan.

tune in tomorrow


My friend invited me over to watch her play this fighting game she got. All she did was complain about how scrubby and unbalanced it was and how the last one was better. I said "Wow, this game's bad," and she looked at me weird and said it's the best fighting game in years.

tune in tomorrow


What did the plagues called themselves when they ran for office? The Plagiarists!

tune in tomorrow


Someone get this man a job in posicle sticks.


They confiscated his hard drives, manga, figures, and dakis while he was in cuffs. He only said one thing as they carried him to the squad car. "Fuck the 3DPD"

tune in tomorrow


I had only 5 hours to finish my essay on Lincoln that I just started. I googled his wikipage, "Leland named Lincoln Motor Company after Abraham Lincoln, stating that Lincoln was the first President for whom he ever voted." All I had to do was put it in my own words: "Leland called LMC (Lincoln Motor Company) after Lincoln (Abraham) saying that Lincoln was the 1st person to become President that he voted for."

tune in tomorrow


I wanted to show him what the suppressor on a gun does but there was no su around for it to press.

tune in tomorrow


I asked a group of people if they saw Beatrix, my pet owl. They all said "who" in unison and she flew down onto my shoulder.

tune in tomorrow


my cousin said she needed a gift for minors so i bought her a pickaxe

tune in tomorrow



tune in tomorrow


Former house representative George Santos stated, "I never said I was a leftist. I said I was left-ISH."

tune in tomorrow

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