How are you spending this Friday? Do you have any plans for the weekend?
>>577080Electronic rock/hardcore I think. Not very into the genre, hence why I want go, new experience, nee opportunity to maybe meet people (fully aware most likely wont talk to anyone).
>>577081And what do you do there alone different then with people?
Anyway, I failed in getting proper sleep, so I can barely function in social situations when at full power, if I havent already bought the tickets I would just stay at home.
>>577353I did. Lots of moshing, clothes completely sweathed through, hopefully I wont get sick by the time I get home. Its the same every time, I go somewhere I have fun, and then the music stops, and Im back where I started, sad, lonely, self-conscious.
Attendee demographics were similar to what they always are, mostly small groups of men, followed by couples and occasional lone men, few non-visibly-taken women. Younger than me. Women there were so much my type, alt/goth/metal chicks, dark eyliner, chokers, sexy clothing, you know the type. Looking at them I feel like a stray dog out in the street, hoping someone would adopt me, and then I realize, no, people like dogs, stray gets pitty. I already wrote about this in the previous thread, Im not a dog but an insect. Ocassionaly someone might find me interesting enough to come poke me with a stick, but then they seem me move and buzz and get creeped out.
Caught a reflection on the way out, wet strands of hair falling on my face, and though to myself, "I look so hot, if I wasnt an impoverished autistic retard I would be swimming in pussy." What a waste. Only makes me anxious about my hairline, I want to get on finasteride, why isnt the thing over the counter, I have to spend 100€ at hair clinic just to get prescription, fucking hassle, and then roughly 50€ every month for actual medicine, which in my current financial situation is a significant expense.
The reason I cant sleep properly is that there is never anything to look forward to in the next day, just more work, more responsibilities, more time wasted and opportunities squandered.
>>577594Yeah, thats what "poke with a stick" was referring to.
>>579275To what?
Anyway, done absolutely nothing in two weeks, and have nothing to do this one either. Searching for some video games to kill time with. I have some responsibilities to addend to, but cant bring myself to. Its really hard to delay gratification when there is no gratification in sight.
>>581700Learning Excel and SQL, to help me with job search.
Oh, and I found one thing to do this weekend, local restaurant is serving vegan goose, and then Ill go to cinema to watch Substance. Fuck, wasted entire today downloading, installing and uninstalling various games because nothing strikes my fancy.
i'll spend hours searching for a game to play during the weekend, and then instead of playing it I'll doomscroll and just be miserable and a slave to the dopamine cycle
>>581801i also want to know what a vegan goose is very cool
>>581806>>581802Well the vegan goose remains mystery, I went to the restaurant in the afternoon, it was packed, they had line for the orders reaching almost outside, so I turned around and went home. Second time I decided to visit in the evening, still packed, and the goose already ran out. Went to asian bistro instead, had at best mediocre food with too much carbs, ruining todays cut, I would be better off not eating at all.
Also something broke in my internet browser (Waterfox), just stopped working out of nowhere, and I have no idea how to export out my bookmarks now, there is bunch of sites and facebook pages through which I look for local events there,so thats either gone or Ill have to figure out how to import them, one way or another its a fucking hassle, as if I had nothing better to do. What a miserable day, cant have one nice thing.
>>582024Thanks, I found that file, but I suspect it might have been overridden by empty file of new version of Waterfox I downloaded.
Currently on my way back from The Substance screening. It was ok. I really liked the first half, with more dramatic serious tone, dealing with aging and beauty and social pressure upon women, before it turns into Cronenberg movie, and then past that into a body horror farce. The screening room was almost empty, kind of surprising as the other cinema that was screening it today was fully booked. Unusual gender composition this time, mostly women. One lone old woman too, wonder how she felt watching this.
i just broke a tooth in half right now while eating popcorn, this is the fucking
WORST WEEKENDi don't want to go to the dentist during the weekend, i don't want tooooooo :C
>>582019 very cool
>>587754This is why I always disagree with boomer advice about "step outside your comfort zone" or "you never know until you try".
Unless you're going for a secure needed airtight profession or enterprise, there's no reason to "cast your breads across the waters."
i will
MURDER every single dentist in the world.
EVERY SINGLE ONE of these sadistic
DEMONSmotherfucker told me the ultrasound cleaning wouldn't hurt, but it was
LITERALLY one of the most painful things i have
EVER experienced. i almost
DIEDwe must
RETVRN to when we just pulled teeth out when something ain't right
>>588941 true
>>588986 rare 'wawa
Hey guy, I am announcing I am now merely a semi virgin. Roommates girlfriend decided to have drunken sex with me while he was away. The thing was 100% initiated and escalated by her, despite my numerous inquiries if she is ok with this and wishes to continue. There was no PIV and nobody orgasmed, she communicated that she wants to stop at some point, I really hope it was because she was too drunk or regretful and not because I am awful at this.
The slightly depressing part is I felt no passion, no lust I feel I should. I didnt get hard, I kissed and bit and licked generously, but that was pretty much just because that was the role I know I am supposed to play. Again, I really fucking hope the cause is just lack of chemistry or something, and not because I am actual bugman whose neural system never developed enough to experience such affects.
Also she invited me for a threesome with her boyfriend, on this one my hope is that it was just a drunken idea, and our encounter was cheating, I would prefer it to being involved into some poly cuckold thing.
>>589308>Cry like a bitch from a bit of scaling>But long for the good ol days where teeth were pulled for a yes or a no without anesthesiaYou're one of thoses faggots uh?
Good luck to frag me tho…
>>591582Its not just ED (I dont think I have ED, I can get hard, I just didnt in this particular situation), its everything. I expected sloppy french kissing to send electricity down my spine, feminine smell of skin, intoxicating taste of pussy, the kind of thing I read about in smutty fanfictions. She had no smell, barely any taste, now that I think about it, I didnt loose a single article of clothing, she didnt even pull my shirt off, I kind of feel insulted by that.
>>591590imagine being subjected to medieval torture in your mouth and
pay for it.
Someone broke into my car today and messed it up. I'm literally a reactionary now
>>591793Aw man. Better luck next time
>>591873>>591847Now you know why I don't respect glorifying or defense of lumpenproletariat.
It's one thing to be poor and homeless and jobless.
That's just an unfortunate fate.
But to be a thief, especially towards fellow proles?
That's unacceptable.
>>592551I finally got an opportunity to talk with her. She didnt remember we even did anything more than hang out and drink, and when I told her she got very distressed.
You know, despite the anxiety and all my other problems, this week I functioned surprisingly well precisely thanks to that validation I got, that someone would find me worthy of seduction. Now that I know it was only because she was blackout drunk, I really, really, really feel bad about myself.
>>591614It sounds like you're going off some pretty demented fantasies. In case you haven't heard this pearl yet, don't base your expectations off of porn; Especially drawn porn made by turbo virgins.
Sex is messy and funny and awkward. Chill out and have a sense of humour. Also, don't fuck sleazy cheaters, you creep.
>>599182y not eat tacos AND talk oooh????
>>599272>>599303 very cool meme
it's for my cousin, and it's been very long since i last went to a family gathering on my dad's side of the family, because i've been skipping dozens of them, so i kind of feel like i need to go to this one at least
>>599284i'm mentally a baby, so it's not creepy
>>604434I've been told I have a voice for radio
and face too! I could read to you.
>>604466Well, this how a lot of kids get to bond with extended family.
Or maybe we should do away with family altogether because people think childcare is a curse
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>>607926 ❤
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>>607931 ❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ tha
Nks for worrying about me ❤
he was one of those small fancy dogs, so probably vaccinated???????? and the wound was very tiny (those that rly hurt for no reason), and i cleaned it
throughly!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyway, i'll let you know if i have to amputate my arm ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
>>607924>>607926>Clean wound and learn not to give hand first to dogs you dont personally know.This. You let them sniff your hand and then gauge their reaction. If they growl or bark, definitely don't put your hand in.
T. pets many dogs in people's yards
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>>607928 ❤
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st heart quoting u
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>>607956 ❤
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don't worry, it's gonna be fiiiiiiiine!!!!!!!!! it really was a microscopic tiny little wound, and that dog had already bit me before and i didn't even need to amputate yet!!!!!!
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>>607947 ❤
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it was actually not the dog that i wanted to pet that bit me. i was petting the big dog that's already my homie, but then out of nowhere the tiny dog came and bit me
>>608095Case in point.
You think capitalism is the only form of oppression?
It doesn't matter where among the economic/political axes you go, there will always be limitations that prevent utopia.
Your behavior is not unlike the poltards you accuse me of being. In fact, you have more in common with pol than you think. Most of you LeftyPol patrons have too much in common with 4chan and other reactionary spaces.
>>608125See what I mean?
LettyPol claims to be about "rational/empathetic" discussion but all there is is just accusations of "Nazi" for not agreeing with someone else's opinion.
And this vitriol is exactly how 4chan patrons act like when I say people expect too much out of life
Difference is, they call me a commie/jew/uyghur".
Once again, you LeftyPol patrons only differ from 4chan in their symbols and political axis.
The contempt and vitriol remain exactly the same. Even the vocabulary.
LeftyPol accuses women of being soulless heartless sirens for rejecting them. Just like 4chan.
LeftyPol complains about Gen Z and boomers "ruining the culture".
Just like 4chan
LeftyPol whines about working and longs to extend childhood because they think they had more "freedom".
Just like 4chan
>>608125>>608129LeftyPol fetishizes interracial sex.
Just like 4chan
LeftyPol is obsessed with their childhood media
Just like 4chan
LeftyPol hates Israel
Just like 4chan
LeftyPol thinks neurotypicals are inherently evil and bland, just like 4chan
>>608129>>608135Hope this is bait, because there's some really embarrassing out of touch liberal takes here. I'm gonna bite anyway because I've got nothing better to do.
>LeftyPol accuses women of being soulless heartless sirens for rejecting them. Just like 4chan.>LeftyPol complains about Gen Z and boomers "ruining the culture". Just like 4chan>LeftyPol thinks neurotypicals are inherently evil and bland, just like 4chanWe don't. We reject identity politics. Though we like to be edgy very often.
>LeftyPol whines about workingBased. We do recognize the fact that people are being way overworked today for the value they produce for their bosses. There's a lot of data to back this up.
>and longs to extend childhood because they think they had more "freedom". Just like 4chanWe're childish and cringe because we're mostly millennials. This isn't a leftypol thing, it's a millennial thing.
>LeftyPol fetishizes interracial sex. Just like 4chanBased
>LeftyPol is obsessed with their childhood media. Just like 4chanBased
>LeftyPol hates Israel. Just like 4chanWe hate the state of Israel, and for great reasons. 4channers hate all jews, and for the most schizophrenic reasons.
>>608147Eveything you said is purely in denial.
Except for this:
>We're childish and cringe because we're mostly millennials. This isn't a leftypol thing, it's a millennial thing.Except, it's a Gen X, Y, and Z thing.
>>611256the ones with an "X" are ones I already made
and the ones that i haven't made are 99% just really, really bad ideas, so u'r probably not gonna find anything useful there, but who knows?
!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!? >>611350It has legs.
>>611355Not me.
>>611374I know im cringe but anarchism is more so. Teacher emailed me after i posted that, that didnt fail out really because i can withdraw keep my aid and gpa, and continue where i fucked up next year. My teachers and fellow students are all mostly bourgeois devils but i found worse one today.
Im undecided though. I basically get another free attempt at what i was doing but i can also abandon the degree im 75 percent done with to go into something that produces value. Electrician. Trucker.
A medical parasite has no power or even reason to rise up. An electrician or trucker has much more potential to fuck up the system.
Proletarians have souls and morality. Bourgeois—mddle-classes and capitalists—don't. Example from literally 5 minutes ago:
Im at eye exam right now and the bitch doctor who probably owns the place has new machine that scans eyes for damage. Not covered by insurance so she charges 20$ to use it. Having eyes dialated does the same thing and is covered but doctor is too fucking lazy and greedy to dialate. This doctor is middle class and capitalist double bourgeois.
>>611581i'm sending you intelligence energy, so you learn all this fancy 🤓 stuff efficiently
>>611583 very cool!!!
i plan on playing Final Fantasy 7 for the PS1. I started and abandoned it like 3 times, but now I'm feeling like actually playing it for real this time
>>614189 very cool
>>614188 very cool
>>614196 hey, don't be mean to ur hoes!!!
>>614199 y don't you play some videogames & jack off
i spent all of friday being berated for being autistic and having an emotional meltdown. literally got called a robot, compared to data from star trek in a derogatory way, but somehow they are the victim and not me. i literally just asked to watch a different youtube video because the one they were watching was upsetting me due to my ptsd, and they screamed at me to get out. i freaked out and left and threw my phone and a chair because i was upset. it really seemed like they were explicityl saying they cared more about getting to choose what they watch than my feelings or company. i drove off without my phone thinking i was going to get myself lost enough that i had to kill myself. i calmed down and returned only to be berated further over text. everything i have ever said interpreted in the most bad faith way possible, things i never meant at all. stupid dark jokes taken literally and seriously. all of the constant effort i put in to be normal and not offensive taken for granted, ignored, undone, mocked even. i tried to defend myself via text but i basically gave up out of fear of losing the friendship. they obviously care so much less about me than i do them, they use the fact that this friendship is imortant to me to threaten me and control me. i drive them to work every day at 4 fucking AM, i drive them to pick up their girlfriend to fuck across the hall at my house, i let them make me feel insane and like a freak for disliking literally anything (apparently i'm not allowed to dislike phones, i can't get them to understand that they are implying that the only reason i don't like phones is because i'm a pathetic freakish introvert failure) i don't want to think this way about my best friend but i can't help it at the moment. i have genuinely tried so hard to be good to them and they just shit on it. they can't accept me having any different opinion than them, they think i think i'm smarter than them if i disagree, they take it as a personal attack. i have trouble maintaining eye contact and focusing on multiple things at once, and when i have trouble focusing on them while i'm in the middle of a difficult video game or text i need to read, they get pissed like i'm intentionally ignoring them.
i don't fucking know what to do. i thought they udnerstood me but they spend all day repudiating everything about my character and shitting on me in ableist ways. i had an autistic breakdown and they respond by yelling at me all day and criticising literally every aspect of my identity. i wish i had the balls to cut my own throat right here but instead i am spewing this angst into the void i guess. i don't want them to hate me and i don't want to hate them. it just feels like our entire friendship has been a fraud, if i'm supposed to take any of this seriously. our argument is only over becasue i essentially capitulated and let them walk all over me, but i'm still upset and i don't konw how to express that without making them upset. i don't want them to be punished or upset, i just want them to understand how what they said makes me feel. i've never felt so isolated and alienated in my entire life. i've been at the brink of my mental health for a while now and i don't know how/if i'm going to get past this. i can't kick them out because i'm technically their landlord and i refuse to abuse that power dynamic, i don't charge rent or anything i just ask for help buying the weed that we share. he has his own room and full control over the door/lock, so i don't understand why this is all about his autonomy for him. its insane to act like my request o not watch certain content while im in the room is taken as an attack on his autonomy, he has plenty of time when we are not hanging to watch that kind of stuff, it feels very ableist to shit on people for having media triggers like that.
idfk i'm probably a cucked idiot according to you chan-adjacent troglodytes. i am pathetic for thinking a place like this could offer any empathy. i am just howling into the void.
>>614409why do you allow yourself to live with such disgusting "things"? seriously, kick those "things" out.
also, get better standards on who is worth associating with, don't just befriend/interact with trash that looks human…
didn't enjoy playing final fantasy a whole lot last weekend, but started playing the Halo games and i'm
HOOKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>614409 I'm curious to hear from you, fellow autismanon. How did the situation with your roommates develop?
>>617855 me, mayhaps?!?!??! 😳
>>617963 that's not resting, it's tiresome. i think u should watch stuff instead
>>617966 what made u ragequit?
>>618102 y r u showing me metroid creatures??????????????
regardless of the reason, you reminded me that i still gotta play metroid prime 2 and 3
>>624016I see enough C in my work.
>>624018I read SICP and am reading Lisp in Small Pieces but I was thinking about something not programming related for once, sorry.
>>624023Update:
Valentine's date went great. We had pasta in an Italian restaurant within the historical district. We were seated right next to the glass window panel that covered an open wall with a night-time view across the city creek.
She got me some parfum and some more hygiene products.
playing more halo games
watching jojo Stone Ocean
questioning my life choices
>>624023>>624456 very cool! good for you, séxo haver
>>624042 how did it go
>>624497 that's a W in my book
good for you, grass toucher
round of applause!!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
>>629400 very
>>629462 cool
>>629521 u should take the "how to be slightly less awesome" course because u'r too awesome
>>629752 thx for asking ❤
i'm going back to college because i want more money. this time i'll get a useful degree…
problem is that i'm a
trillion years old, and i'm already tired before the kkkollege kkklaSSes even begin
how about u how are u doing this friday????
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>>637871 🌈
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are u saying that we're fat homos or that we're really gay???
>>641039Prostitute appointments have to be set up in advance, are too expensive andI have no desire to have sex with people who dont want to have sex with me.
I dont know any plugs.
>>646199 AMAZING news!!!!! round of applause!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i'm not killing myself anymore
>>650036Sure. Why are you nightwalking?
On my way I passed a local victims of communism memorial, wanted to post a photo here but there was homeless person sitting in front of it drinking beer, which arguably would make for a very artistic photo, but I felt awkward snapping a picture when he is looking at me.
It was nice at the beginning, I went seeing people playing music, good local musicians, met a friend I didn't see in a long while, had a few beers, everything was nice.
Then it went to shit pretty quickly: we went to another bar that was closing like retards, one regular woman who is in her 50s but still sexy af was talking to some aggressive motherfucker who looked really high on cocaine and his weird drunk friend who immediately mumbled to me "if anyone has a problem, I will beat them up", like wut?
We were supposed to go to another bar to chill out with other regulars, but like a drunk dumbass she kept talking to the sketchy ass people instead of following us, so she grabbed me and asked me to bring her to the subway station, but it was too late, they wouldn't stop harassing us. She hugged me like I was her bf, was almost crying, saying "I know anon, I don't know you". I tried to tell them calmly but firmly she was afraid and to let us go to the station, and they still wouldn't fuck off.
So my instinct was "Let's go to the main square, so everyone can see us, then we can get you a taxi like the sketchy guy said".
Luckily some young men who looked like business school students immediately reacted seeing the whole situation, and seemed to be truly concerned and wanted to protect her, they even thought I was one of the harassers lol.
We had some talk, explained the situation, I said to the one of the harasser, "man you keep saying 'I won't rape you', why are you saying this?" but at some point, I told one of the young men, "I'm getting the fuck out of there, this guy will want to fuck me up once she is safely home" and I fleed quietly as soon as they all forgot I even existed.
I feel like such a coward and maybe the young men were also rapists, but I already got assaulted last week, I still have a headache where my aggressor repeatedly punched me, so fuck it. I'm not a damn superhero.
Our fucking corrupt politicians created this whole mess, copying our policies on dying America, and this is the result, and we can't even carry guns.
I'm thinking of carrying at least some pepper spray, maybe a knife too, in my left hand to strike at the liver like my ex-military told me (but if you use it wrong, it's game over). Or maybe get a firearm permit and one of these concealable guns, or legal revolvers. Learning a martial art, taking self-defense classes, I don't know, I'm lost, but I need to GTFO of this declining shithole, it wasn't that way 3 years ago.
FUCK
>>650282>I feel like such a coward and maybe the young men were also rapists, but I already got assaulted last week, I still have a headache where my aggressor repeatedly punched me, so fuck it. I'm not a damn superhero.Our fucking corrupt politicians created this whole mess, copying our policies on dying America, and this is the result, and we can't even carry guns.
I'm thinking of carrying at least some pepper spray, maybe a knife too, in my left hand to strike at the liver like my ex-military told me (but if you use it wrong, it's game over). Or maybe get a firearm permit and one of these concealable guns, or legal revolvers. Learning a martial art, taking self-defense classes, I don't know, I'm lost, but I need to GTFO of this declining shithole, it wasn't that way 3 years ago.
FUCK
America is safer now than it was years ago. Murder and rape were more common and often went unreported or was judicially neglected.
Also you bar-hopping especially tailing after some sexy milf with no common sense is just asking for trouble.
But hey who am I to judge.
But for real I avoid alcohol in social settings like crazy. I especially avoid drunks.
They're given too much sympathy from society.
rotting on IRC, trying different servers. canternet is based but kinda dead. also applying for TOEFL certificate so I have all requirements to study abroad in china
>>655366same on the third part
>>655635le brazil experience, the only remedy is immigration tbh.
>>655740melhoras
>>574471poppin pills, eating weed, drinking coffee w sambucha, getting chinese food out of town with the fam, and whatever else comes my way.
Stay blessed frens.
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