Anyone else live like this? I get so anxious my head starts to hurt over minor stuff like I left my key in my room because I was rushing for job centre appointment and I had to get the landlords to open the room back up. It cost £25 (it's horseshit they charge you for opening the door back up) and I was really really stressing out over that and I still am. That's a lot of money and it's just wasted. By the way it's not broad long term things that stress me out, it's just stuff like getting ready in the morning on time.
At the same time I struggle to be scared for anything. The most I get scared is being scared of the people I love dying. The only legitimate fear I have is of prison, and even then I can't help but put myself in dangerous situations in organising stuff. I just feel excited and feel no reason not to. I'm not scared of dying at al, that's not saying I would never be scared if I was in a situation where I might die, just that I'm not scared theoretically. Like when I'm climbing a cliff I would be scared of falling. But I wouldn't be so scared that I wouldn't climb that cliff just on a whim.
What I worry about the most is being a failiure to the people around me, doing things wrong, being a bad person.
Anyone else feel similarly or sympathise?
Did they have to call a locksmith or did they have a spare key? If it's the latter, that's just bullshit.
>>818677The latter. It's bullshit.
I resonate deeply. Except I was actually locked up for a crime. In normal life i get anxiety episodes that are so severe that i feel physically ill and break down crying. (Usually over obscure things that are not actual threats due to having OCD) but when i waa actually arrested (beaten mildly in the process) and taken to jail, i was genuinely shocked how calmly and level headedly I reacted. My voice didnt stutter, my breathing was calm and i was locked the fuck in. I got used to prison within 72 hours and had zero fear over my incoming trial and how long ill get. Like my brain was just straight up at peace about my fate from the moment the door shut. Later got transfered to a high security mental institution within the prison complex, but the whole 16 month ordeal was bizzarely "acceptable" for me. A lot of crazy shit happened to me there but my mind kinda just said "ok whatever" and the only anxiety episode I had was 10 days before I was due to get out due to starting to think about "what next"?. From the comission of the crime, to the arrest, to the lockup, everything was so "natural" to me that I still dont get it. And i am out now, and am still a guy that cant talk to people due to social anxiety and get panic attacks over potentially having chosen the wrong college degree.
>>818694When I was arrested I was in Jail for 3 days but only because they had bad paperwork and I was retarded not giving my name to them. But for the entire time I alternated between screaming at them, singing revolutionary songs, and staring at the wall hallucinating because I had nothing else to do. The most fun thing was getting to fuck with the plain clothes detective people. They offered me food once and I told them I couldn't eat it because it wasn't halal if pigs had touched it (of course I'm an atheist and I ate food all the rest of the times).
>>818711Why were you arrested?