I wish to confess. I saved you. I saved communism as an idea. All your worthless memes. I should have let the Nazis kill you all in the 1940s. Yes, Antifa, I’m guilty. Guilty. Is that what you want to hear? I didn’t create fascism. Of that I’m innocent. I’m guilty of a far more monstrous crime. I’m guilty of being conservative. I’ve been on trial for that my entire life. I did not do it. I did not destroy the USSR, but I wish that I had. Watching your stupid experiment die gave me more relief than a thousand lying whores. I wish I was the monster you think I am! I wish I had enough fascism for the whole pack of you. I would gladly give my life to watch you all be annoyed by it. I will not give my life for Palestine, and I know I’ll get no justice here, so I will let the Gods decide my fate. I demand a trial by combat.