/lgbt/ - LGBT

>>8474
I feel like they met one asshole (or someone they interpreted as one) and they decided to write off all of humanity. If that.

Long distance situationship is taking a mental health social media break after moving to a new country and I'm just sitting around waiting for him to come back. I feel like Forrest Gump after Jenny leaves, and honestly I'm starting to understand that character more and more. I just love him, he's my person. If I had to I'd probably just spend my whole life waiting for him like Forrest did for Jenny. I hope he comes back soon.

>>8491
sorry to tell you this anon but it is over

>>8492
Nah, before he left he said he'd be back, and he was talking about coming to visit me just a couple weeks ago. If he didn't want to talk anymore or wasn't interested he would just tell me.

>>8493
thats what my dad said

>>8494
Sorry that happened to you but I'm not sure those are equivalent.

>>8495
You remind me of me, good luck

>>8496
(report back in 2 weeks)

>>8497
>>8496
Ngl it will probably be longer than that but I hope it's sooner.

>>8491
I'm gonna be you in like 3 months. I'm together with him right now but gonna be moving for work and we'll be apart for at least 6 months. I love him but I don't know how it'll go when I'm away from him and I don't want him to be held back by me.

>>8500
If he loves you too then you won't be holding him back. Just make sure you guys talk open and honestly about how you feel and what's going on.

>>8497
Update: we're talking again and everything is fine.

rank best to worst dating apps for lgbtq+ people? all people ever mention is "grindr", "grindr", "grindr" but clearly that is dominated by cis gay men. What about all the rest? wouldn't make sense to go on grindr if I was looking to date a transwoman I guess?
>inb4 tinder
i don't wanna date any of the pb scum that are on tinder, trans or any other.

>>9537
Transgirls do use Grindr, dunno what others there are

There's Barq if you're a furry lol

Nah anons, Grindr fucking glows ("uhh they all do" - no, more than average) and it is one year younger than Android (the fucking operating system). I see Grindr was brought up a little bit earlier ITT too.

I mean I just skimmed this shit and it's almost laughable (if it weren't serious), this may be worse than the standards on the Match Group-owned apps:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grindr
>Headquarters: West Hollywood
>location-based
>The app has been criticized over moderation, privacy, and safety issues, including its handling of racist and discriminatory content, including a former ethnicity filter that was removed in 2020 following complaints. It has also faced privacy and security concerns, including vulnerabilities that enabled users' precise locations to be identified through trilateration, and its of extensive sharing of user data (including HIV/AIDS status) with advertisers that resulted in a €10 million GDPR fine in Norway. Researchers and human rights groups have also raised concerns about the app's use by drug dealers, the risks it poses to younger users because of limited age verification in certain regions, and its exploitation by criminals and state authorities in anti-LGBTQ regimes to entrap, extort, or assault users. In addition, the company has faced allegations of unfair labor practices in the United States.
>In the early 2010s, Grindr was criticized for not taking sufficient action to moderate the display of racist language by some of its users.[63] In June 2014, when asked about hateful speech on Grindr, the app's creator Joel Simkhai said in an interview with the Israeli newspaper Haaretz that he "didn't like it" but he "[isn't] a sixth grade teacher" and it "[isn't his] job to police such things."
>Labour union complaint: In 2023, the Communications Workers of America (CWA) filed two lawsuits alleging unfair labor practices with the US National Labor Relations Board.[40]
>User location trilateration: In August 2014, it was reported that Grindr's relative distance measurements could facilitate trilateration, thereby pinpointing individual users' near-exact location.[70] A proof of concept was published, and more than 2 million detections were performed within a few days.[71] Authorities in Egypt allegedly used the app to track and arrest gay men.[72][73] Grindr responded by temporarily disabling distance display globally.[74]
>In May 2016, a group of computer scientists from Kyoto University demonstrated how location pinpointing is still possible in the app even when a user is hiding their distance from public display.[75] By exploiting a novel attack model called colluding-trilateration, locating any targeted user becomes a very easy and cheap task without employing any special hacking technique. The attack model works with any location-based service app that shows profiles of nearby users in order of proximity, not just Grindr.[76]
>In May 2022, it was reported that Grindr's user location data has been collected and sold through a digital advertising network since 2017, before Grindr curtailed data sharing with its advertising partners in 2020. Historical data from this period may still be obtainable.[77]
>User data privacy: In April 2018, SINTEF – a Norwegian non-profit research organization – reported that Grindr's data bundles sold to third-party companies could potentially contain some users' sensitive personal information such as HIV/AIDS status and HIV testing dates. The discovery generated widespread scrutiny of Grindr's privacy practices. In response, Grindr released a statement stating "Grindr has never sold, nor will we ever sell, personally identifiable user information – especially information regarding HIV status or last test date – to third parties or advertisers. As an industry standard practice, Grindr does work with highly-regarded [software] vendors to test and optimize our platform. These vendors are under strict contractual terms that provide for the highest level of confidentiality, data security, and user privacy."[78][79][80]
>On January 14, 2020, a report was published by the Norwegian Consumer Council which alleged that Grindr had violated the European Union's General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) rules. The council asserted that Grindr sent user data to at least 135 advertisers.[81][82] The main concerns of the allegations were for sharing personal information, including users' locations and information about their device. These details could potentially indicate the sexual orientation of a user without their consent.[83] After review from the Norwegian Data Protection Authority, it was ruled that Grindr was in violation of the GDPR and fined €10 million.[84]
>In October 2020, a security researcher discovered a vulnerability in the password reset process. Anyone was able to take over an account using only the email address.[85]
>In April 2024, Grindr was the subject of a lawsuit lodged at the High Court in London for mishandling user data, including the use of "covert tracking technology" and sharing sensitive user data – including HIV status – with third party analytics companies.[86][87]
>Violent ambushes: The use of fake profiles on Grindr by homophobic predators to entrap and assault LGBTQ people is common in various countries.[92][93]
>A 2023 report by Human Rights Watch documents the widespread use of fake profiles on digital platforms like Grindr, by police to entrap, extort money from, or physically torture LGBTQ people in Egypt, Iraq, Jordan, Lebanon, and Tunisia.[94]

We gotta have something less garbage than this, fellas. This shit's ridiculous. There are relevant apps that don't have several of these drawbacks. Gimme 1 min.

Found this:
>Unstar analyzes negative iOS App Store and Google Play reviews for clusters that improve apps. We write about ASO, app reliability, and consumer software quality.
https://unstar.app/blog/lgbtq-dating-apps-grindr-her-scruff-feeld-taimi-ranked-2026
>1-3 star reviews of Grindr, HER, Scruff, Feeld, and Taimi: bots, outing risks, verification gaps, ads, and each app's hidden paywalls.
Feeld and HER get the best ranking.
Grindr got worse placement, next to Scruff and Taimi.

>>3144
Women are more discriminatory about looks than men are. Have you seen romantic media made or preferred by women? The male candidates are always hunks. The average looking guys are dismissed as shallow horndogs.
Also, women want men to be their butlers and secondary fathers.
Just like how men want women to be secondary mothers

>>3201
I think it’s more because young men aren’t romantically valued as much. Or that cishet age gap relationships with the male being the junior isn’t given as much glamorization when it’s the female being the junior.


>>8059
This. Idk why people think men having any platonic shared space is consolidated homosexual but they never do it with women as much.

>>3753
“Wanting is not the same as having” as an old proverb says. The truth is, people only want romance due to the thrill of the hunt.

>>9578
You’re a prison-gay?
You’re unwilling to have sex with masculine-looking guys?

>>8112
I'm currently in my first relationship (it fell in my lap so to speak), long-distance (for which I am not built). I proposed to meet just about three months in and he accepted, the date got postponed and he changed his mind, I pretty much begged him to reconsider and he did, only to change his mind again (this took about a month). he then proceeded to have a depressive episode and broke up with me for a week, now we're back together (it's been just about three weeks) but it's looking rather bleak.
I love him a lot but as time goes on it feels more and more like it's not going to work out, which sucks because we seem to be very compatible and he's also very pretty although not very stable, which is the only issue and he also recognizes that. my only fault is having fallen in love with a depressed misanthropic loser, not the first time either.

>>9603
Not all masculine-looking gays are ugly.
Also those places you’re visiting are probably cishet males settling with guys due to not having a shot with women

>>8217
Remember, women can be homophobic as well

being a tranknee faggot is so goddamn lonely once you make it past the filter of transitioning for like a decade unless you're down to get virtually molested on Discord by pornbrained transbians who have been on HRT for < two years and have alphabet soup microidentities and therapyspeak self-diagnosed mental disorders in place of qualia or individuality anyone else rel8

>>9766
Those people you described are probably in the same boat as you that’s why they’re like that

The truth of the matter is, transgenderism only accepted as pop cultural products, not as average Joes

Your chances of being a sexually/romantically gratified trans person are dependent on attractive you are. HRT alone is t always enough. Sometimes you need cosmetic surgery.

Cis people, both heterosexual and homosexual are already suffering from low prospects in the dating market as well.

I kinda need advice on something.
I really want to move out and maybe go to college or something. I live in bumsfuckville of less than a thousand people. There are no job opportunities outside of being a farmer. I don’t really want to spend two hours communiting back and forth every day. I don’t like living with my mom, she’s not abusive to me anymore but she was in my childhood and we mostly avoid each other.
My girlfriend refused to go with me, because her mom has cancer and her family needs support. I understand that, I don’t want to leave her either… I don’t know why she does it. Her family doesn’t support her transition and doesn’t respect her. They work her to the bone constantly, make her pay for everything, make her drive them everywhere on top of working full time. She’s miserable.
I understand it’s not really my place to butt in I guess. I feel like moving away might hurt her more because I won’t be there to help. But also neeting is ruining my body and soul. It’s so pointless and miserable. I sit inside and smoke pot and immerse myself in video games just so that I don’t kill myself. I want to go to college and make friends too. I am incredibly lonely here.
Idk.

>>9766
They're probably masturbating while writing that, the internet is the way it is. Either ignore, block or reply with something humorous but non-sexual if you dont want to reciprocate. Like "porn is bad, m'kay" or something.
>>9781
>[they] are probably in the same boat as you
>Your chances of being a sexually/romantically gratified trans person are dependent on attractive you are. HRT alone [isn't] always enough. Sometimes you need cosmetic surgery.
>Cis people, both heterosexual and homosexual are already suffering from low prospects in the dating market as well.
Don't listen to this insane rainbow lib.

>>9797
You can't always save everyone else. Nobody is ever going to care as much about your life and your wellbeing as you do. Not even friends, family, or lovers. I'm not saying to embrace psychopathy but at the core of it, nobody else is going to fix your life. You have to do it yourself even if it means you can't be there to support others. More than likely, the people that depend on you now will find a way to survive without you. It might even give them the impetus to change their life for the better as well. It's a harsh truth but still true nonetheless.

>>9800
>They're probably masturbating while writing that, the internet is the way it is. Either ignore, block or reply with something humorous but non-sexual if you dont want to reciprocate. Like "porn is bad, m'kay" or something.

Those people are just writing spam for amusement anyway. No different from imageboards.

>Don't listen to this insane rainbow lib.

What did I say that was wrong??

>>9812
But what if I regret leaving? I’ll never be able to come back. I have no other friends or anything.

>>9906
Well, that is scary yeah, does it have to be a permanent decision though? You could do long distance with your girlfriend and tell your mom "I love you mom but I can't find a job, I feel like I need to try find myself in the city", hopefully she will understand and agree you can come back and live with her again if it doesn't work out. Same with your friends, just tell them why you need to move away and offer to hang out with them online or come over sometimes to see them, or offer them to come stay with you in the big city and see the sights.

Most of my friends have moved away and yeah we don't see each other as much as we used to be we still do hang out when they're around or hang out online and play games, I'm gonna go on a trip to Japan next year with my school friend who moved away years ago.

Maybe if you set yourself up in the city, and tell your girlfriend how much better it is, that might be enough to convince her to leave her mom and come live with you.

Even if you do lose contact with mom and girlfriend and friends, you can make new friends in the big city, go to like leftist groups or LGBT orgs and so on.

>>9906
Oh sorry, I didn't see you meant you have no other friends. Well that should make it an even easier decision to leave then!

You can't let your girlfriend tie you down somewhere that you're miserable. You have to make your own choices and she can make hers. Maybe deep down she is happy where she is, some people prefer what they know even if it sucks than trying anything new because they couldn't handle change. You can only offer other people a little leg up in their own lives, you can't totally put yours on hold for them.

As an example, I've been living with my BF for 18 months, we wanted to buy a house together but he hasn't found a job in all this time, and I don't think he's been trying very hard to get one most of the time, whereas I've been working flat out to save up and advance my career. I desperately want to buy a house but he wanted us to wait until he had money coming in so he could go on the mortgage, well, I waited too long already for that to happen, so now I'm just buying a house on my own. He can come and live with me but I'm not going to wait forever just because he wanted to do it together. He doesn't really like the house I've picked either but I love it, and I'm the one paying so I'm going to make the decision. Like I said earlier, even though we love each other, my need to buy a house doesn't mean as much to him as it does to me. His feelings about the house don't matter to me as much as mine do. That's just life. Maybe it will give him an impetus to change, maybe not, either way I have to do what will make ME happy.

People have broken up with me for the same reason, because I wasn't doing what they needed me to do, and of course it was crushing at the time, but you know what? I got better, and it was part of what encouraged me to make changes to get me where I am now.

>>9925
Thank you, you are very kind

>>9952
No problem, hope it was helpful!

Dont know if this goes here

> I'm physically disabled from a work accident with ptsd. My ex tried to kill me.
> Used to run and operate my own business
> I get disability money
> Date another trans girl for 10 years
> Watch as they continuously use old age as an excuse to not work and have me pay for more and more while I'm on disability
> ("My writs hurts" "My joints are bad" "I cant massage you cause my hands have arthritis") > Meanwhile Im actually missing muscle that makes it impossible for me to lift and effects every connecting muscle.
> I excersize, work out, take care of my disability so I can remain functional
> They don't excersize and worst of all don't communicate and just complain about how their body hurts. Their daddy (actual DAD) has money though >.>
> (Btw I do the housecleaning when I can, and the cooking… and the organizing… and the shopping….)

2nd part
> When things went bad this winter they got fired from their job because they didnt go in (Minneapolis)
> Courts came through on unemployment 5-6 months later
> I pay for everything for 5-6 months on credit I've cultivated from good financial decisions and my money from disability
> She gets the money wont pay any of it off
> Agress to my solid fiscal financial plans then ignores all of it
> Doesn't pay utilities like I told her to (on my credit EVEN, she has her own card)
> We now have to pay more TO HER DAD of all things because the first two months at the new place and she isnt paying the utilities
> Proceeds to tell me the new card I got she expected to use for rent.
> Have to start doing NSFW porn to pay for her bad ability to manage money now has to be used for rent ( to be fair I was planning on it anyways but now I dont have a choice)

(Ill be honest, pretty sure people will be able to identify me but I don't care. Come kill me.)

I just need someone to know.
Decide for yourself if Im just a dumb disabled bitch or not.
After all im disabled, with PTSD, i cant get a regular job, and super fucked in the head.
Im hot, skinny and asian and can manage a business but that's literally the only thing going for me so that doesn't matter.

Looking for… I dont know. Something that makes me want to live. Doubtful but, it is what it is

>>11096
Why not break up cuh? This bitch straight up ruining your life, let it go twin. Plenty fish or sum idk

>>11096
It sounds like you don't even like her, just leave I guess

Yo, btw, to anyone scrolling through this thread:
Why aren't you looksmaxxing? There are practically zero negatives with it, why not give it some effort? Looking better will increase your life quality, thats for sure…

>>11096
>Im hot, skinny and asian and can manage a business but that's literally the only thing going for me
a.) thats more going for you than most people have
b.) drop that ball and chain from around your ankles

>>11099
Cause I'm too lazy.

>>11101
Fairs brethren

Can't date until i look like him so there's that (i won't even come close)

>>11100
>>Im hot, skinny and asian
Life on easy mode for a gay person. Go out there and enjoy life niga

Money and nobody is doing well

I have my own mental issues, and my current living situation kinda makes it hard for me to be stable. Additionally I don't have a car so dating is difficult.

Car was in the works before partner lost job. Finally had enough credit padding for the hit.

I mentioned disabled and on disability.
> Nobody is interested.
That's just the reality of it. Plus now I'm in debt because of what would be an ex. I mean…

Not exactly the catch of the day guys

> Plus there's a part of me that makes me feel bad letting them go considering they helped me get out of the state I used to live in. Which was not friendly towards… well… anyone frankly.

>>11097

>>11098

We get on like fire in a friendly way. Seriously, can talk about film, movies and games like nothing else. Come up with crazy ideas and skits.

> They've already made it clear, we wont be friends if we break up and they wont talk to me again.

I… dont want that…

Friend i really like is in a HUGEE poly, they actively know i like them and even teases me about it by making really lewd comments, yet everytime I've asked about it, they say "on no you're just a friend".

They already know how i look like, same goes for me knowing how they look like, they have called me cute before all this romantic shit, thus putting me in a shitty spot, because i love them, i really do, but they don't seem to love me back?

Might be just a crazy transhumanist lol

my first relationship was heavily abusive, with an active nazi agitator. it exagerated all features of my anti social personality disorder until i was a cruel and empty shell, almost given up on happiness or a desire to make a better world-

but my second relationship has been heaven.
i met her online. shes a trans woman from some european "social democracy", extremely intelligent (despite being an egoist in a reformist party) and deeply kind, and even though we are from other continents, she saved me from my past relationship, supported me through various addictions, through mental health crises, through coming out as a trans guy, and so on.. (st4t is a beautiful thing..)

weve been together for, 5 or so years now. weve spent about a year and half of that together irl - its quite a long distance relationship. im in the process of immigrating to where she lives, and the future is looking bright, which i didnt think was possible before meeting her.

before her, my life was an endless series of traumas that clouded everything i saw. i feel that it clouded my vision of politics, too. made me violently vengeful and cynical and attracted to aesthetics and self-defeating forms of pragmatism. it was much harder to be hopeful for the worlds future when i didnt have good people around me.

even just having friends helps a lot in having a proper outlook for the world. loneliness is a great danger to any socialist at any scale. if you dont have good friends, with good energy and good values, you are making a waste of your limited time alive. if you havent found community, find it. go to social clubs or look through a party org or add random people from social media you think look cool and be curious and caring and find your people. its your duty to yourself and the world.

>>3228
The replies so far have mentioned that soldiers should be a major recruitment target for socialists. Anyone who sees a revolution without the support of large sections of the military is a delusional idealist.
You don't have to fuck them, or feel safe around them, but surface anti-military sloganism is harmful.

>>8067
Move it, football-head!

>>[50% of this thread]
Have you tried telling them how you feel?

>>11157
lowkey I think I tell people how I feel too much and then they hate me for it…

>>11159
What happened that made you think that?

>>11159

Nah