/lgbt/ - LGBT

First came out to my parents at 13. But they thought I was """confused""" - as if I was destined to become a hetfoid or something

>>8095
You are a trans man? That is unexpected.

>>8095
you should family-cuck them by getting a gf with a woke family and start calling her parents yours, and telling your parents how much better parents they are

If my friends love and appreciate me deeply why can't I find a boyfriend? Why is it so hard to find homomen in the wild?

>>8107
Realize that you're not unique and there's a bunch of guys with your same mentality (expecting a cute gay guy to read your mind).
You either have to be very open about being gay and seek gay spaces and take advantage of whatever opportunities come your way, which can be difficult, or use an app.

>>8093
actually it turns out that she's just the same amount of allergic to her phone as i am and i dont have to be sad anymore

>>8109
That's great I'm happy for you
I went to the worst case because that shit does happen a lot
Did she break the silence or did you have to find some other way to reach her?

>>8108
>You either have to be very open about being gay
But that would trigger my homophobia
>cute
i'm not cute, i am… nerdy.
>Realize that you're not unique and there's a bunch of guys with your same mentality
I do, but I don't know why we click, I analyse the mannerisms of guys I have some interest in (I am not very sociable so I don't meet a lot of new guys), they are never homosexual…

>>8111
I guarantee there are guys out there who think you're cute. Your issue will be whether you find THEM cute.
>I am not very sociable so I don't meet a lot of new guys
That's the issue, of course you're gonna have trouble finding someone if you only have access to a handful of people. You're dealing with a minority of a minority of a minority, gay guys near you that you're interested in. That's why you have to expand your scope. And yeah it can be terrifying to do it but it's your best option. There isn't really a shortcut to socializing, you just have to do it.

>>8112
How should I do it without changing my mannerisms?

>>8113
The self is a tricky thing - you're constantly changing all the time, but you feel like the same person. There's continuity. You can grow into a more sociable person over time (through exposure) while still feeling the same underneath.
Anyways, guys find nervousness cute from my experience. So you don't need to fake a new personality or anything like that.
Finding guys through apps is the fastest/easiest route but it does mean interacting with a lot of strangers. You're gonna have to sift through a wide variety of people until you find someone who's willing to commit and meet up (it 100% should be a public place the first time).
The other option is to find gay groups in your area. If you're in college there's probably an LGBT club/organization. If you're into political organizing there's probably an LGBT wing. There's gay-flavored groups popping up all the time, sports, hobbies, etc.
Are you out to your friends? Hooking up with a friend of a friend is another option. Anything you can do to expose yourself to more people, not just the ones you see day-to-day.

There was this girl at my high school who had asked me on a "date". But when I agreed, it was revealed that she was actually joking. She was truly a cishet Stacy. One guy was so shitty and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said no. He wouldn't stop.

>>8210
Wasn't there anything suspicious about her? I wouldn't accept a random date from a random cute guy. He must really look gay or I would reject it
Do you think she will spred rumours or is your sexuality already known?
flood

>>8214
I don't know, it was a pretty long time ago and I can't remember. But she had spread rumours, i think

>>8215
Homophobic straggots are scum

>>3228
love fucking soldiers partners

>>3228
Hey so funny thing a lot of people actually want to have sex with soldiers. You were projecting I'm afraid.

>>8217
I know. They think that being cishet gives them a free pass to act like selfish little fucks

i got out a 3 year relationship 9 months ago. I had two sexual encounters since then a few months ago. There was no penetration just oral. I thought it was fine, but i dont have any drive to have sex, or socialize with new people for that matter. i deleted grindr long ago. im not really sure who im interested in.

this is my last month of the semester, i hope im not wasting my time/money here. when i dont feel as inadequate ill start talking to people again, surely. probably not on grindr though.

I believe in love and kinship, but the barriers of others' hearts is seemingly impossible to overcome. Everyone is obsessed with connecting on a purely cosmetic level. Forming communities based on consoomer behaviors got me cringing at the bare-level concept of making friends in hobbyist groups. I do not fw the vast majority of people who would "fit“ whatever gender/sexuality people assume of me, because the kind of people who care at all repulse me. Every meaningful relationship I've had has been with a cis bisexual man who wanted to dip their toes in the pool before diving in, and I'm unfortunately still friends with every single one. I'm in a beard marriage with the only other gommie from my tiny little hometown because he was the only man to match my freak and we can't even fuck cause we are just not attracted to each other.

All I want is to connect with others spiritually and mentally. I want people in my life who are willing and capable of having conversations, not people burdened by their desire to "fit in" somewhere or who can only make friends with people who watch their favorite fucking shows. I'll even take being a volcel if it means having more than one person in my life who can just talk without deigning themselves the ultimate judge of societal morals or w/e.

I hate that idpol has me waxing poetic like I'm a homophobic conservative sapiosexual but really the aspects of what make me consoomable to others is so disparate that inevitably anyone who likes me on the surface will inevitably find a facet of me they can't tolerate. I will believe in the concept of someone who could love all of me when I see it.

My close commie friends have moved away. Stuck studying a no-future career that I despise with people that I struggle to connect with due to idpol or whatever.
Ive never had a boyfriend, its difficult as it is in this fuckass country to do anything or find anyone. Yes, I could sleep with some rando for a few weeks, but literally what is the point of doing any of that if I dont truly feel anything, not even happiness. Its more and more suffocating now than ever, I just struggle to communicate with irl people around me and I feel like an utter failure. I just hope that I am actually able to move this year somewhere by myself and not come back.

>>8267
Didn't your friend have more friends? Maybe you could vefriend his friends

>>8269
I befriended them yes, but they moved away

My girlfriend keeps telling me not to say I don't pass (when I don't, I am a complete twinkhon) and she says it is all about confidence, but then admits herself that she passes perfectly, was always being mistaken for a woman even before she transitioned and had extremely lucky genetics. I really like her and this is a minor problem I just wish she listened to me rather than trying to minimize my problems.

Why is it impossible to find a boyfriend? One friend offered to matchmake me with a friend some months ago but I declined and now that I wanted he already has a bf, and I have already messaged more than 20+ guys online and nothing has comed out either (most don't respond since its not on dating apps)

>>8300
How is it going

>>8459
It's been easier to date men than women for me. It's just difficult.

>>8460
Yeah but how do you find a date? I also guess it's easier, but how do I find one…

>>8461
Through friends of friends and being a regular at social events of a specific niche. Maybe online dating is quicker but I never tried it bc it sounds like sending resumes and this shit isn't fun. If dating isn't fun I don't bother, but it can be

How can I met other LGBT folk, if I live in a reactionary shithole? I've only met one other bi guy (apart from me) and we're friends (I even confessed to liking him but he declined), but that's about all. I fear I will not be able to make a romantic relationship with somebody, and I do not wish for that to happen.

>>8463
Use grindr

>>8463
how reactionary are we talking? like are their gay bars you could goto or is there 0 queer spaces

I love my bf so much

>>8464
NTA but it requires phone verification
>>8468
cute

>>8464
Not comfortable with that, because (as >>8469 mentioned) it requires phone verification… (and I'm very paranoid regarding this, I don't wish to become a target of persecution or something)
>>8465
The only tine i visibly see LGBT folk are pride marches that happen in June, and that too only in the metropolis region of my city, I live in more of the outskirts, so I have not really seen any queer spaces or sonething similar.

>>8470
If ur paranoid like me you could try scruffies (you dom't even need and email), I couldn't use it properly because it didn't recognize my ubication with microg but maybe ur lucky

>>8470
Id be carefull with grindr if the country you're in criminalizes being gay, its often used as a honeypot by both the government and gay bashers.

>>8471
>>8472
I should probably also mention that I don't really find datibg apps appealing, they just feel like a massive job hunt-esque thing, and also a honeypot (i.e. the local LGBT dating apps I have encountered)
I forgot to mention that being gay is not illegal per se, but it was till recently. LGBT is usually seen as a "Western decadence", which I have always thought was weird, considering most colonial powers penalised sodomy and stuff…

I came across this niche depression subreddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/LGBTForeverAlone/

<Anyone in NYC?
<It’s shocking that in a city like this everyone is a shallow superficial thinker with no depth of thought. Nobody has the desire to talk about the complexities of life or are too afraid to even think about the unspoken truths of society. While at the same time are so vapid they have no sense of humor or can appreciate dark harmless humor.
<The worst part is nobody even seems to have the desire to want more out of the minds of others.
Assigned Consumeroid At Birth, ACAB

>>8474
I feel like they met one asshole (or someone they interpreted as one) and they decided to write off all of humanity. If that.

Long distance situationship is taking a mental health social media break after moving to a new country and I'm just sitting around waiting for him to come back. I feel like Forrest Gump after Jenny leaves, and honestly I'm starting to understand that character more and more. I just love him, he's my person. If I had to I'd probably just spend my whole life waiting for him like Forrest did for Jenny. I hope he comes back soon.

>>8491
sorry to tell you this anon but it is over

>>8492
Nah, before he left he said he'd be back, and he was talking about coming to visit me just a couple weeks ago. If he didn't want to talk anymore or wasn't interested he would just tell me.

>>8493
thats what my dad said

>>8494
Sorry that happened to you but I'm not sure those are equivalent.

>>8495
You remind me of me, good luck

>>8496
(report back in 2 weeks)

>>8497
>>8496
Ngl it will probably be longer than that but I hope it's sooner.

>>8491
I'm gonna be you in like 3 months. I'm together with him right now but gonna be moving for work and we'll be apart for at least 6 months. I love him but I don't know how it'll go when I'm away from him and I don't want him to be held back by me.

>>8500
If he loves you too then you won't be holding him back. Just make sure you guys talk open and honestly about how you feel and what's going on.

>>8497
Update: we're talking again and everything is fine.