/lgbt/ - LGBT

Might i suggest observing other girls in their natural habitat (internet communities, your workplace, random people on the street)? Joining a female friend group would obviously be the fastest option (which is how cis women are made in the first place), but i reckon this isn't an option for your if you're asking on lef/tttt/. Doing self-crit concerning your male socialization and analyzing random males in this light also goes a long way.

I'm currently a "boymoder", who doesn't make much of an effort to hide things, and i don't think you ought to consciously "feel" like you're a girl. It's a balance between finding your own identity within this new social role and unashamedly adapting the things about it you like (and think you can pull off).
Flood detected; Post discarded.

sources say wishing to be a girl a sign of being a girl

get reborn or cut off your penis idk

>>3735
Unfortunately im still not a girl though even after reading this
>>3731
Does observing work for you personally? and what masculine aspects should I look out for when doing self-crit? As for identity, I unfortunately am not sure if I even have one or will ever find it. I also probably couldnt pull off most things I like.

>>3739
>As for identity
For most people identity isn't a persona you consciously latch onto. Mine is mostly made up of who i don't want to be and pliable in many ways.

>what masculine aspects should I look out for when doing self-crit?
You need to get into the mindset yourself by reading feminist literature, >>1871 for example. I can give you some pointers though: Gender is primarily social, so the thing you should focus on is how to approach social situations, like how men learn not to do a lot of nice and normal things to avoid showing "weakness". Thinking about cultural and the more idiosyncratic stereotypes people make up can also be fun, because you will be able to let go of you fear of doing X "like a woman".

>Does observing work for you personally?
I couldn't tell you yes in good faith, i do feel like it helps though. The way i do this isn't giving looks like i did when i was on T: You know the trope that sees men as more competent and women as their accessories? I reverse that and when i enter a room orient myself towards the women, like look what they're doing and what emotions they're expressing. I also quickly look over most women to observe their demeanor, clothes and silhouette, which might come off as creepy, but i don't remember getting any uncomfortable looks back, so i think it doesn't.

>I also probably couldnt pull off most things I like.
That's okay, just focus on what seems most attainable at a time.

>>3743
> Gender is primarily social, so the thing you should focus on is how to approach social situations
yeaah thats gonna be a problem. I have zero social skills and ive been avoiding almost every unnecesary social interaction for aslong as I can remember. I dont even know how im supposed to approach social situations as a boy. I wouldnt be aware if I was doing something like a woman or like a man. I appreciate all the advice in your posts though.

>>3754
>ive been avoiding almost every unnecesary social interaction for aslong as I can remember
I used to have the same mindset, until i recognized social interaction to be a necessary part of the human experience and the mere fact that we are posting on an imageboard is proof we naturally crave it. Honestly i don't go outside that much, but i do have conversations every once in a while, in which i try to be pleasant.

Just know that if you aren't in your late 30s and look like a goblin, it's far from over for you and you will most likely have the chance to become who you want to be. Things tend to work out if you put in the effort, see it as one more reason to improve your social skills.

>>3755
I know its a necessary part of the human experience, and it saddens me that I cant fully experience it. Im far too afraid to just walk up to a random person and talk to them, and from what I've read that seems to be the only way to improve social skills so im kinda just fucked.

>>3756
>from what I've read that seems to be the only way to improve social skills
No! Who even does that other than 'cels on the prowl!? Do you not talk to people as part of your job? Show you're receptive and from a small, natural comment you may get a conversation going, hell call your parents more often and ask them about their day if you don't have anyone else.

Being a girl is like being a gamer, the title comes at the start, what you do as one ultimately comes down to how you personally define it.

> Of course i know theres hrt, but that doesnt account for my brain.

Dumb words. Of course hormones account for your brain. They make you think, feel and act differently.
HRT is literally just another puberty. Your brain completely changes in "regular" puberty - because of hormones.
Similar to a regular female puberty, you will have different emotions, you will probably find new interests and lose old ones and so on…

>>3763
Yeah the brain is basically a horomone computer, it's silly to think hrt wouldn't effect it.

>>3758
Im still in college so I dont have a job. On the rare occasions when someone does talk to me, I am receptive (or atleast try to be, im really awkward so I'm probably failing at seeming receptive) However, they never usually evolve into conversation.
>>3763
>>3764
I know they affect the brain to an extent but its not gonna change it completely. Ill still be male socialized and ill still think the same way and have mostly the same behaviors, mannerisms, and personality. It is kinda scary that it will make me lose my interests though.

>>3766
>male socialized and ill still think the same way and have mostly the same behaviors, mannerisms,
That's the easy part to change, just be around primarily other women
>and personality
that changes at least yearly assuming you don't live a stagnant life

>>3767
>That's the easy part to change, just be around primarily other women
I cant be around anyone, I dont have any kind of social circle or anything like that. And even if I could, i bet it would seem very weird if a random man just started hanging around a group of women.
>that changes at least yearly assuming you don't live a stagnant life
I do live a mostly stagnant life. Any personality changes I have gone through are usually very small and inconsequential

>>3739
>Unfortunately im still not a girl though even after reading this
well youre already a whiny bitch so theres that 👍

>>3770
I was trying to be nice in that reply but ok lol. Sorry that your useless platitudes didnt magically cure my dysphoria

>>3769
I mean like online first. Get on fedi, join a towny minecraft server, etc…
Watch / read media with primarily women characters.
It's like learning a language.

>>3771
maybe you need to define women because having dysphoria to most people means they are and not a platitude

or do you think girls who like sports and stuff are secretly men? like what do you mean become an grill

>>3772
>join a towny minecraft server
id love to do that but I literally have no idea how to find a towny minecraft server.
>Watch / read media with primarily women characters.
Do you have any recommendations in particular I could watch or read?

>>3774
Read the original post of the thread, I literally explain what I meant by becoming a girl. I wish I was a girl but im not one yet, my brain cant even think of myself as a girl, thats why im dysphoric. Also dont put words in my mouth.

>>3775
Arknights is a pretty fun read, gotta do puzzles inbetween each chapter in-game, or you can read it in a log format via https://akgcc.github.io/

oh i see now "girl" is a consumer demographic. have you considered buying product?

>>3766

>Ill still be male socialized
And I am guessing you were socialized in the neoliberal way of life, in a school that taught you to be either a cog in the machine or a soldier mindlessly following orders. Just like how you were socialized by "advertisements" (→propaganda) to think that you need, want and desire.

Also, just as a sidenote, some people grew up as fascists or racists or whatever and have been socialized that way. That'll still influence them for the rest of their life but it does not mean they will always be fascists.

>It is kinda scary that it will make me lose my interests though.
I mean… it won't make you lose all of your interests or smth. That probably won't happen. But you might just stop being interested in some things and you might find new things you like.
Who knows, maybe that won't happen and you won't notice a difference in that regard after years. Everyone experiences puberty in a different way and everyone has different experciences with HRT.

You'll be different. You won't be a carbon copy of Jane Doe. And you don't have to be… and I wouldn't want to be.

>>3787
no its the opposite

>>3786
Undialectica! *pops your ideology bubble*

>>3792
the category of women itself is transient and historically determined

Oh and I would like to add:
>My brain still thinks of myself as a man.
When I first realized I was trans and what that meant, I still kept misgendering myself in my head for like… forever.
You said:
>and I have been knowledgable that im most likely trans for awhile now
okay but… are you out to anyone? It takes a little while to get used to "thinking of [oneself] as" a different gender in my experience.
I recommend you try and see if you can get comfortable with it:
- out yourself to people you trust
- just pass really fucking well in public
- somehow make you percieve yourself as a girl when alone (think games, stupid online communities, the conversations in your head)
Try any combination of at least one of those and see if you like it. The second one worked really well for me.
It made me more comfortable with the idea of people calling me a girl and stuff - when I was with people who "knew" the "correct" way to adress me again, i realized just how uncomfortable I was with that.
I still wouldn't say I really think of myself as a girl, but I still feel like I haven't even really begun transitioning and I still have a lot to do.
I also just now remembered hearing some random trans youtuber say that, after years of transitioning, they have now just stopped thinking about these things. They just think about themselves as a regular girl and feel pretty normal.
Idk, just some random thoughts, maybe they help someone.

>>3794
the internal identity can be fundamental without being essential, especially not biologically. you arent born with a gender but come into one through becoming an adult and reacting to the social structures that gender(verb) identity. not identifying with this imposed gender already makes you trans. being a women is similar to queer just means being other than the default which is man. children ie girls/boys are basically genderless and not something you can become because time doesn't work like that. you dont become a women by buying the right things or acting a certain way and you dont become one by social imposition of weakness or fragility or matching stereotypes its an interpolated self-identity of recognizing onesself as other than the default

>>3786
thanks alot now i feel more invalid and like a piece of shit since I didnt want to be trans since a young age.

>>3797
>often
sorry that you cant read

>>3795
>okay but… are you out to anyone? It takes a little while to get used to "thinking of [oneself] as" a different gender in my experience.
No im not out to anyone. Im not sure if ill ever be able to come out, the thought terrifies me.
>just pass really fucking well in public
I dont pass at all. My body is so masculine it disgusts me. I havent even started hrt but even if I did that couldnt fix my massive ribcage, broad shoulders, and tall height.

>>3800
>even if I did that couldnt fix my massive ribcage, broad shoulders, and tall height.
shouldn't matter all that much when your goal is simply to pass. usually you are going to wear clothes. won't help with your dysphoria, but people don't analyse your shoulders and you can very easily hide some features you dislike or draw attention to somewhere else.
also, there are plenty of tall women. i'm taller than most cis women, but still see literal giants every day that will look down upon me like i'm some kind of ant.
biology doesn't work like "male=tall; female=short"… you are just more likely to be taller when you are male. the average height among men is higher. you can't really apply that way of thinking to individuals.

>>3800
let go of all doubts and go for it your fear is the only thing holding you back do not let it

YOU ONLY BECOME A WOMAN THROUGH BEING ONE. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS INTERNAL IDENTITY. EVERYTHING IS YOUR SOCIAL IDENTITY. BEING TRANS = TRANSITIONING, IF YOU HAVE NOT TRANSITIONED YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN. IF YOU WANT TO BE A WOMAN YOU HAVE TO TRANSITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your identity is dialectical basically tbhqiafam+

>>3815
Trve, but there are people who transition without ever socializing with other women of doing self-crit regarding whatever male socialization they had, which is also how you get unironic agp fetishists. Remember chihiro discourse? One common topic is that they basically only ever hung around the men of the group, felt reluctant to talk to any female students and explicitly saw themselves as a failed male, which is how the writer wanted to convey them not to be a woman.