>>806626I am not a stalker and I despise violence. I had no fucking clue who that Eliot Rodgers person was, but after researching him it is clear that he was a fucking monster and I wish I did not find out who he was. It horrifies me that people would compare me to someone as disgusting as that, just because I want to talk to a girl I have a crush on at a coffee shop that I always go to when I am at college. Unlike a stalker, I completely respect her autonomy/privacy and would completely accept her rejecting having a relationship or even a friendship with me, as I would never want her to do anything she dose not want or that would make her feel uncomfortable in any way. I am not a fucking fascist republican evangelical Christian piece of shit that wants women to be barefoot kitchen slaves with 10 kids and no right to control their bodily autonomy. I believe women are rational autonomous human beings with agency and the right to say no to a man. Just because I am trying to maximize my odds of talking to her and having a friendship that could hopefully evolve into a relationship doesn’t mean I am some kind of fucking creepy stalker. I know my boundaries and the minute she would ever tell me that I am making her uncomfortable I would immediately apologize and stop trying to talk to her. It would break my heart if this happened, but I would completely accept her choice to not want me in her life in any form because I sincerely respect her and care about her. I am honestly thinking about not even trying to talk to her again next semester, if it feels that the chance of success is near zero, and I don’t want to risk embarrassing myself and making her uncomfortable.
When it comes to the accusation of political extremism, I honestly have taken a sharp turn against extreme ideologies, including Marxism (especially Marxism-Leninism), and I am really just a social democrat, lol. This is because after falling in love with the girl from the theatre class, it is impossible for me to support a “revolution” knowing that it could put her in danger and this feeling will not change even after it is obvious that I will never be able to have a relationship, or even friendship with her. This is because I will always love her, and the fact that I was able to feel love for a human being that wasn’t a relative has given me a very different perspective on life, both in the sense of what I want in my life (I want to be independent from my parents and have a girlfriend, two things that I never really cared about until a few months ago), and having a much more compassionate view of humanity (especially women). This is the same reason that I went on so many rants about how disgusted I am by far-left larper dudes luring innocent young women to dangerous larp protests where they could get brutalized/arrested by fascist cops. You can call me an old-fashioned Don Quixote chivalry guy, but I genuinely believe that men should not lure women into dangerous situations, and that men have an obligation to keep the women in their life safe in this fucked up world we live in.
Honestly, when I really think about it, I really don’t know why I post on this website anymore, I guess it is just because this is the only place I can truly express my feelings. I almost feel like a hypocrite posting here due to the fact that I no longer believe Marxism is anything more then just a convenient universal theory to understand history (ie. modes of production, base-superstructure model, etc.) and a political ideology (Marxism-Leninism) that historically worked in fucked up third world countries (ie. USSR, PRC, DPRK, Cuba, etc.), but I really don’t believe political Marxism has any relevance to modern America and Western Europe, and in the context of the place I live I am really just a garden variety social democrat. I also suspect that posting on this website does not help my social skills or help me achieve any of the goals I actually want in my life of being independent and getting a girlfriend. It is really just a place to screw around and read about asinine nonsense disguised as profound leftist political commentary, which can be quite fun for someone who is extremely bored and depressed all the time, but I don’t think it is going to help me get what I want in the long run. I also know that the demographic that this website (and any other image board) appeals to are lonely autistic young men like myself, and if I am trying to develop better social skills that appeal to young women, spending time here is the worst thing I could do, because this place is essentially an autism factory, lol.