I used to hate everything then I just realized I hate myself. Everytime I think I've hit rock bottom it gets worse. I've never really pursued anyone romantically because I really don't find most people attractive but I feel lonely all the time. I don't really have a personality, most people if asked to describe me would just call me weird gay autistic or annoying. I really haven't been happy since I turned 13. I don't know what I want but this ain't it.
A lot of people go through their whole lives without realising this, so congratulations. Once you realise, it gets better. It's not easy but you'll figure out what it is you hate about yourself and find ways to improve it.
A very important thing is to find something that gives you a strong sense of self and identity. For me that's being an artist, which I only started a few years back when I realised I hated myself and had nothing to lose by making bad art until I got good at it bit by bit. Once I started actually posting it online a little I lost most of my neuroses even though i didn't get popular because suddenly instead of being nothing, or saying I'm nothing because I'm actually a bad person, I know I'm just a mid tier and unpopular artist. That's fine, that's something, there's a lot of those out there.
Politics is a tough hobby to drop but basically everyone is just using it as an outlet for their psychological hangups. Even now, I'm only here because I need an outlet for my tedious pseudointellectual economic and sociological views and don't want to poison my art with them
Is bordiggers website down or something?