I can no longer take this, my whole life i was exluded, bullied and ridiculed. In kimdergarten and pre-school i was treated unfairly by teachers and other kids saw this as an opportunity to mess with me. In school i was completely alone and constantly bullied and then when i tried to fight back every adult would punish me for it. In college no one would talk to me, often say offensive stuff and take photos of me for amusement and the unfair treatment from proffesors continued. Now at my job, no matter how timid and usualy silent i try to be it doesn't save me from being a butt of emasculating jokes, constant verbal abuse and overall disrespect. Today i recieved a message from my boss in which he scolded me for being rude to someone from a higher position (which didn't happen and he knows for a fact that the woman which made the complaint just hates my guts) saying that he would fire me if i let it happen again.
This cut really deep this time.
Coming to realisation that not even once in my life no one ever defended me or atleast took my side really hurt. Not even my family or supposed friends which i never really had.
Now realising that this will probably never end and i will keep getting abused, i don't feel like living anymore.
What do you even do in this situation?
4 posts and 2 image replies omitted.Hey man, I feel very very sorry that you are going through this and having experienced bullying, exclusion and unfair targeting since childhood must be traumatizing.
>Now at my job, no matter how timid and usualy silent i try to be it doesn't save me from being a butt of emasculating jokes, constant verbal abuse and overall disrespect.
I used to make this mistake. It doesn’t work this way. Most people are not morality oriented, they are power oriented. Presenting yourself as soft and timid makes you a target. It’s like sharks smelling blood in the water. So you have to defend yourself and you can’t make it dependent on other people validating whether or not your self-defense is justified. Granted, that is hardly possible at work if your boss can fire you and is already against you. You’ve probably already considered this, but you should seriously switch jobs. Once a social dynamic and hierarchy is set it’s hardly changeable. So regardless if you can quit now or 6 months from now you gotta leave that place.
You also need to find the right people and provably seek a therapist. You likely continue to do things that trigger other people to attack you. I’m not saying this to victim blame, but there are just things that tick people off even if it’s not morally justified, such as being soft and timid. That just draws in bullies.
If you need someone to talk to I’m here.
If your boss fires you for that made up bullshit you should kill him. Take agency over your life and get revenge.
This is very blackpilling. I got no advice.
>>820934I'm sorry. This is a fault of capitalism and society. Channel your energy into overthrowing the system which will never respect you. I wish I could defend you though and I feel bad that I can't.
Y'all are dooming too much. OP is employed, exercises and touches grass, so they have an excellent foundation going on. Most suicidal people don't get anywhere near this far, and for this I must give OP a round of applause(!!!)
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>>821021>i was diagnosed with schizophreniaAre you still in therapy? I don't think we can help you as well as a therapist could. we don't know anything about you, dog