>Eagle Lord Tzocmatitlti of Fajo de Puta sleeps with, and then sacrifices, the daughter of Huitzillohuihui, panther lord of Muxe Penis Hill
>Huitzillohuihui, seeking to avenge this humiliation against him and his bloodline, undermines Fajo de Puta's system of alliances and tributes by convincing their lords to betray the city in exchange for getting sacrificed to Montzumiscxalalalalalalalckajo tsutsutuki
>some of the more noteworthy vassals to have been persuaded by him were Lord 40 Corn Cakes, who had switched sides in various previous conflicts approximately 1200 times, and Lord 8 Turkey Tacos, whose reign was fraught with instability due to rumors that he was anally birthed as a result of a homosexual affair between his muxe father and Lord Tzocmatitlti and having daddy issues towards his alleged stepdad
>It is generally thought that Muxe Penis Hill's strategic location between routes transporting Cacao and tabac and slaves and atlatl spears and cocain powder from the Mayan city-state of K'ek L'mao and obsidian twelve inch dildos made by artisans from Teotihuacananal anal canal granted it leverage with which to forge these new strong alliances
>some scholars disagree with this view however, such as Prof. Tardbum of Columbia univercity, who states that "nobody could possibly be that gay" and pointed towards ancient golden ona-holes made from cottton fibers and gold dust and Agave fleshlights found at various sites in the region as proof of an elaborate ideological complex that Muxe Penis Hill supposedly established
>after some intricate diplomatic and military maneuvering, Lord Huitzillohuihui forced Lord Tzocmatitl into a pitched battle on the shores of lake Xiticaca where the loser is to be sodomized and sacrificed and the winner served heroine and sacrificed and the spectators sacrificing themselves
>Lord Huitzillohuihui's strength: unknown
>Lord Tzocmatitl's strength: unknown
>casualties: unknown
>There is some debate between scholars on whether this entire fucking conflict was an actual historical event, or an elaborate metaphor warning of the dangers of excessive Pulque and peyote consumption
7 posts and 4 image replies omitted.Angry bumblebee goes hard
>>718151Wild as in they go hard
Not barbarism vs civilisation bullshit
>>718074What in the chick’s nose in the first pic?