own a tomahawk for home defense, just like your ancestor-sitting big chief warned in the fire. cultists break into the reservation trying to kill us and create ethnostate. The police let them pass and watches, four klansmen break into my Sioux “The idiot men, as the Seneca owl says, one does not own the land he walks on” a sad on my face as i grab my helm and belt. i throw a two-foot blade on a stick into the first man's scalp, he leaves this world on the spot. draw my club on the second man, he shoots me first, it doesn’t penetrate my because the bear hide armor has been enchanted by medicine men who read mao books about industrialization and it bounces from the iron underneath my armor back on his ribs. he bleeds on the floor messing up the decor "HEYA HEYA HEYA HEYA HEYA" i scream to make him think I'm savage "what tu hell? leeroy help me!" more men enter the sioux, i realize this battle is not over yet, i have to resort to the apache wolves chained at the top of the stairs who were fed only magical white powder left by the cartel. i shove three wolves into the ceremonial canon left by my great uncle. “you messed with the wrong Apache, no more stolen sisters!” the wolves are fired from the cannon, catches two men and shreds them, the force from the third wolf cracks open a hole in my wall and sends wood flying. i wear my feather bonnet and charge down the last terrified neo-colonist. "AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!" he dies of a heart attack waiting for the police to arrive since he remembers heart attacks are very costly at the hospital and shoots himself. i get arrested by the white man for manslaughter before I could escape to my apache helicopter, even though I did it on purpose, just as my ancestors warned me
I have a machete, baseball bat, collection of knives and a bayonet from winter war.