>>779400Because if I get another job with no relation whatsoever to field I wish to be in, its over, I am never going to be able to get out of menial labour, nobody will hire me, my education will effectively be outdated, all the skills forgotten. Like I am not picky, I dont care about wage, I am willing to relocate (although considering I currently live in place with most favourable job market in the country its unlikely it would be an improvement), but I just need something that I can put in my CV to help me get something semi-decent in the future.
I am terrified of meeting anyone from my childhood or school, and they asking me what I do. I have only one friend, and I havent spoke to her in a year because I dont feel worthy given how much of a loser I am.