Lickspittles of the bourgeoisie, my name is Vladimir, and I despise every single one of you. All of you are obese, infantile liberals who waste every crucial moment of their day staring mouth agape at absurd artwork. You are everything reactionary in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever done any praxis? It might be stimulating to mock others because of one's own shortcomings, but all of you bring it to the highest stage. Your "theory" and "practice," if it can even be called that, manages to somehow be even more Onanistic than that of agent-provocateurs like Father Gapon. Attempt to pen a counter-revolutionary screed about me. You are unlikely to do any damage. I was on the editorial board of Iskra, and I was fond of lifting weights and hunting while I was in exile in Siberia. What sporting life have you, other than "masturbating to lewd oriental woodcuts"? I am an accomplished professional revolutionary, and my wife is similarly dedicated to the overthrow of the bourgeoisie (She just wrote a scathing review of your liberal imbecility, it was rather illuminating). You are all minions of reaction who ought to fall on your swords immediately. We are thankful for the liberation of the working class. Photograph enclosed: it is my wife and I.
Its time to bury this mummy and give soviets their power back that he took from them.
Lickspittles, all of you, children of the bourgeoisie!