when you were a small child the most important person in the entire world was this giantess who towered over you and did everything for you and gave you unconditional affection. then you grew up and she became smaller, but still bigger than you, and she became more of a teacher and an imposing authority figure, expecting you to do more things for yourself and laying down rules and regulations to keep you from running out into the street or playing with matches or sticking a fork into an electrical socket. then you grew up some more and she shrank down to your size and she became a sort of nagging critic and a weak authority figure, trying to tell you what to do and give you guidance and teach you how to be a responsible adult but now it's just like an annoying shrill noise that you just sort of tune out and ignore, maybe there is a present and devoted father figure she can rely on to get the message to you in a way that you cannot ignore but probably there isn't, either he took off and abandoned you or he's at work all the time or when he's home he's too exhausted and just hangs it all on your mom to deal with the parenting stuff. then you grow up some more and your mom is now a small frail old lady and you have your own life now and she's lonely and misses you and makes you feel guilty for not calling or visiting her enough, and you are lonely and you miss her too, but not the real her as she is now but the memory of her as she was when you were the small child, and you fantasize about meeting some new woman out in the world somewhere who will be the giantess who does everything for you and gives you unconditional affection. it still hasn't sunk in for you that that world is gone forever and you haven't accepted it. and it's not really your fault - you never had anyone to guide you through this transition, you just had your mother struggling to handle this monumentally huge job all by herself, you didn't have grandparents in the house to share their wisdom with you, you didn't have close neighbors that were like extended family that you spend a lot of time around, you didn't have some community center like a church or something where people in your community become like an extended family to you, you didn't have teachers in school who had a personal relationship with you and treated you like family rather than just a huge herd of cattle they get paid to wrangle for 8 hours a day, everyone in your society is isolated into these tiny discrete units that don
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