So I had a massive social fail yesterday. I don't really want to get to the details because nobody here cares about my drama. I want to get to a feeling that probably unites some of us.
A lot of us are very into computers in a way nobody except us can understand, and along with that or because of that, we lost our social lives.
Me, I have very bad people skills. Unlike others, it isn't that I'm too scared to talk to others, in fact that sensation is extremely dull, only flares up talking to cute girls, like anyone else. So I don't have a block when it comes to just talking to people.
What I struggle with is the technical skills: how to read people effectively and respond to their emotions, keeping a conversation flowing and expanding, speaking technique (my speech has degraded somewhat to the point where I stutter, my voice sometimes cracks, and I never speak loud enough so should work on that), and moreover the holy grail is utilising social procedure to make a relationship ascend from acquaintanceship to a close friendship.
After yesterday I was wishing I was just normal, that I didn't trade my social life for elite computer skills because of how isolated it made me. I have a unique perspective on the world in so many ways, but I'm also alone in that, and sometimes it doesn't feel worth it. Relating with people over the wire isn't enough anymore, I want to relate with others face-to-face. But I don't want to become a defeated misanthrope just yet. I need to know if it's possible to have it both ways.
Surely other lains have been in similar situation, and maybe have tried and possibly succeeded in fixing it. I haven't searched elsewhere yet because I expect to find mostly snake oil peddled by normal people who don't understand my situation at all. What about you lain? Have you found books which gave you a glimpse at the mechanics of social interactions? how friendship is formed?
Also, is having social media a boon for making friends? At this point I'm considering downloading Instagram to appear more like I am a socially fitting person; I feel like being known as that guy who has no social media, though it makes me novel, probably works against me because it flags my outsider-ness to others, or makes me seem like I'm not approachable. But I want to be approachable. I don't expect to become a sociopath-tier socialite who can smooth talk anybody. I just want to be able to get on with people.
Let's all learn how hack
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