>>2576230I kinda want the opposite, I want to subsume myself to it.
If I can give one piece of advice, it's that while throwing yourself into learning to code, play an instrument, write a story, draw, or any other creative or skill-developing hobby (fish for all it matters!), is
exceptionally worthwhile, you should categorically
not get into political theory or history or similar dry academic topics. That's what I did, and I regard it as the only possible waste of time worse than using social media. At least on social media I'd have vague acquaintances and the ability to hold a facsimile of a conversation. Instead, all I have is petty resentments and an encyclopedic knowledge of dead movements, movements that were dead before they started, movements that are undead, dead economic theories, and an all-pervasive sense that everyone engaged in 'politics' outside real power is just LARPing and has nothing approaching a coherent plan for building or taking power.
It is a superficially smarter but actually much dumber way to waste your life. You are still just looking at words on a page - if you want to do that, literature is the way to go, not theory. At least it'll come in handy if you decide you want to write down the road.
This is not the good communist answer, the good communist cliche is to write paeans to theory that you don't actually read. Go on social media and do that if you must, but don't fall for the meme. You will not, in fact, read your way into actually existing socialism. You cannot get that time back, don't waste it like I did.