What is the point of the internet, if not to enslave the sole mass of mankind more than it already is? I explained to my psychologist that I don't want to be online as much anymore, for the fact that I am not getting anything out of being online. I've tried X/Twitter, I've tried Instagram, I didn't try Reddit, I've tried Discord, I've tried 4chan, I've tried Leftypol.
Everywhere is a sinking sandpit, everywhere a void, everywhere a time-draining suckhole inching me closer to my ultimate end: death. I am seemingly wasting time doomscrolling, only being fed bad news on top of bad news, because engagement is amplified through heartache and rage at the system. The algorithm is satiated once it drains me of my lifeblood, of my lifeforce. Otherwise, I fall into inflammatory arguments about things that:
>1) do not affect me directly, at least not in any immediate survival sense, and thus drain my precious energy; >2) spiral into ideological battles where one side wants to enslave me for capitalism, or its uglier form in fascism, through the rise of ultranationalism and right-wing populism, whereas the other side wants me to be spiritually lobotomized for a supposedly just utopia where history has ended and neoliberalism has won; >3) or, I argue with people who are actively hostile, bitter, and resentful, since the energies of nihilism surge through the vagaries of their ghastly souls. But do I have myself to blame? I spent most of my twenties online to some degree and learned that I could have spent this time reading, writing, learning a new skill, working, or otherwise fulfilling my life with genuine connections and experiences. Sure, I was already part of micro communities on weird facebook that tried to move away from using the site like a high school reunion, or a form of sanitized, suburban networking, but this also just devolved into Egos going into overdrive, all trying to satiate the need for validation and engagement and attainment of something that is not real: the clicks, the likes, the reactions, the comments, the shares, the digital personalities morphing into a digital bacchanalia of narcissism. Truly, the internet has turned the denizens of the 21st century into self-absorbed units of ego-drive, turning inward and imploding on its own critical mass.
There is something so despondent, hollow, and unreal about the
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