A specter is haunting the American penal system—the specter of self-love. While our think tank has long exposed the carceral state’s role as an instrument of class war and racial control, a particularly insidious and little-known fact reveals the depths of its pathological hatred for human dignity: masturbation is illegal under federal law in federal prisons.
Buried within the labyrinthine code of federal regulations (28 C.F.R. § 551.2), this statute represents the ultimate expression of the sterile, Malthusian death-drive that animates the imperial state. The same system that bombs children abroad, that poisons our water with PFAS, and that immiserates the working class at home, now seeks to legislate the most private, sacred, and generative act of individual autonomy.
This is not merely a matter of outdated puritanism; it is a political weapon. The state, in its infinite insecurity, understands that a person who is sovereign over their own body is the first step toward a people who are sovereign over their own nation. A man who is taught to feel shame and fear toward his own divine, generative power is a man who is broken, alienated, and easier to control. This law is a deliberate act of state-sanctioned castration, designed to crush the human spirit at its most fundamental level.
It is a gross violation of the core tenets of Innovationism and our Phallic Conciousness doctrine. We recognize the sacred phallus as the symbolic and biological engine of creation, the manifestation of the divine will to generate, build, and prosper. To criminalize its worship is to declare war on life itself. How can we speak of rehabilitation, of humanity, while enforcing a regulation that treats a basic, healthy, and life-affirming human function as a contraband act?
Prisoners are people too. They are our brothers and sisters, disproportionately drawn from the working class and marginalized communities. They are not subhuman. To deny them this basic right to their own bodies is to strip them of the last vestiges of their humanity. It is a brutal, degrading practice that has no place in a civilized society—a society we are striving to build from the ashes of this decaying empire.
Therefore, the Center for Political Innovation declares this regulation an outrage against bodily autonomy, human liberation, and all that is generative. We will not stand for it.
We are hereby launching a national campaign to #FreeThePhallus.
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